Fox Searchlight

WARNING: SPOILERS all up in the conference room.

Never trust an organized entity, especially if it has a 401K plan.

As this week's new thriller "The East" chronicles a former FBI agent's transition to a private job at a sinister intelligence agency, we thought we'd look back at the rich history of evil movie corporations and separate the maniacally, outrageously, inexcusably evil from the "Aw, that's cute, look at them trying to be evil" evil.

Our extensive audit resulted in the following cinematic analysis. Proceed with caution, employees and non-employees alike.

15. Initech ('Office Space')

Peter Gibbons' corporate hell, personified in the passive-aggressive overtime demands of Lumbergh and stapler-fetishizing mumblings of Milton, wasn’t bent on world domination or the complete destruction of humanity. The evil here was much more subtle, realistic and soul-crushing. Thankfully, Peter escaped with a swanky blue collar job cleaning up filth — a better fate than twenty more years spent in a cubicle.

Evil Rating: Stepping From a Hot Shower into a Cold Room Evil

14. InGen ('Jurassic Park')

It's hard to blame InGen for trying to realize every seven-year-old's dream of creating an island full of historically inaccurate dinosaurs and subsequently having the finished product pooh-poohed by a smug Jeff Goldblum. But, like most outrageous plans concocted by eccentric billionaires, this one was better in theory. Still, they might have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling Newman.

Evil Rating: Scooby-Doo Villain Evil

13. Lunar Industries ('Moon')

Living in solitary confinement on the moon harvesting Helium-3 for Lunar Industries has its pros and cons. On the upside, you get help from a friendly robot that sounds suspiciously like a sad Kevin Spacey, and lots of time to build models and tighten up your ping-pong game. On the downside, it turns out you're just one in a series of clones created by the corporation, and all your precious memories are pre-planted lies. Also, some of your clones are jerks.

Evil Rating: 2003 Portland Trailblazers Evil

12. Global Crosspower Solutions ('Promised Land')

If you've been paying attention to the news, you know there's nothing more evil than hydrofracking. Or maybe you know it's the next great energy breakthrough. Either way, we can probably agree that manipulating kindly small town folk into selling their family farms for such a risky proposition is at least evil-lite.

Evil Rating: Evel Knievel Evil

11. U-North ('Michael Clayton')

U-North might not be the best-known corporation on this list, but the agricultural conglomerate still has quite a rap sheet. In just two hours of screen time, the company knowingly sells a carcinogen as a lawn product, attempts to kill professional handsome person/ national treasure George Clooney, successfully murders a mentally distraught Tom Wilkinson and causes Tilda Swinton to grossly pit out.

Evil Rating: Walter White Season 1 Evil

10. Multi-National United ('District 9')

The private military organization responsible for keeping the so-smart-they-can-traverse-the-universe but so-inept-they-can't-feed-themselves-on-the-voyage alien robo-lobster refugees of "District 9" in check is guilty of evil on three fronts: 1) They're ruthless — experimenting on interstellar guests with their own advanced, super-cool weaponry? For shame. 2) They perpetuate the military-industrial complex — it's like they've never heard a Dwight D. Eisenhower farewell address. 3) They're nepotistic — did they really think putting that bumbling, Inspector Clouseau of an Afrikaner in charge of inter-species relations was going to end on a high note?

Evil Rating: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia Evil

9. Tyrell Corporation ('Blade Runner')

When your corporate headquarters is 700 stories tall, based on pure probability alone there's a good chance there's some sinister business going on inside. But the Tyrell Corporation made it a sure thing by creating humanoid robots that are designed for dangerous (and sometimes sexy) work but occasionally escape into the Los Angeles streets where they wreck (sometimes sexy) mayhem. Additional evil notches in the Tyrell Corp belt for manufacturing a product that craps out every four years, thus making replicants the Xbox 360s of superhuman cyborgs.

Evil Rating: Marilyn Manson Played Backwards Evil

8. BiffCo ('Back to the Future Part II')

If your logo includes a picture of you smoking a cigar with a s**t-eating grin on your face, there's a good chance you're at least slightly evil. Although if your entire fortune is built on ethically shaky time-traveling practices and your company's specialties are casinos and something called "toxic waste reclamation," those are probably good indications, too.

Evil Rating: Betty Draper Evil

7. SPECTRE (James Bond)

According to Ronald Reagan and every American movie made between 1975 and 1985, it just doesn't get more evil than the Soviet Union. So seeing as Bond-universe conglomerate SPECTRE played both sides of the Cold War for profit, simple math tells us they must be at least half-evil. Thankfully, 007 was there to teach them freedom isn't for sale! ... and have sex with beautiful, provocatively-named women. SPECTRE — short for SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion — gets a bonus for having by far the most overtly evil name on this list.

Evil Rating: Curly Moustache Evil

6. RDA Corporation ('Avatar')

Oh, humanity. What won't we do in our never-ending quest for unobtainium? The RDA Corporation was willing to indiscriminately trample N̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶A̶m̶e̶r̶i̶c̶a̶n̶s̶ Na'vi in their quest to acquire the precious and possibly delicious mineral. RDA gets extra evil points for participating in one of the least subtle allegories in the history of cinema.

Evil Rating: Big Tobacco Evil

5. Weyland-Yutani Corporation ('Alien')

Shame on Weyland-Yutani for squandering a perfectly cool name with their continuous ineptitude and attempting to squander a perfectly sexy Sigourney Weaver in their ongoing mission to capture and weaponize xenomorphs. Weyland-Yutani is made all the more malevolent by employing Paul Reiser, undoubtedly the most evil observational comedian ever to grace NBC's Thursday night "Must See TV" lineup.

Evil Rating: Panda Poacher Evil

4. Omni Consumer Products ('RoboCop')

Having had its hands in everything from military weaponry and space exploration to food and healthcare, OCP has perhaps the most impressive evil resume on the list (so long as you’re willing to overlook that gap year it spent backpacking through Europe). They even developed a plan so outrageously evil — building and operating their own "utopian" city — that it would never happen in real life.

Evil Rating: Ty Cobb Evil

3. Umbrella Corporation ('Resident Evil')

Umbrella Corporation isn't the first conglomerate to develop a virus leading to a zombiepocalypse and they likely won't be the last, but they seem to be far and away the most reckless. Exhibit A: Attempting to cover their tracks by no less than nuking their own genetic research facility.

Evil Rating: Walter White Season 5 Evil

2. Soylent Corporation ('Soylent Green')

What could possibly cause a corporation that in the wake of rampant overpopulation and near-complete environmental degradation invented a low-cost wafer that's so nutritionally efficient it's able to feed the majority of the population to be classified as evil? Wait, what's that? People? That low-cost wafer is made of people? Ew. Gross.

Evil Rating: Enron Evil

1. Rekall/ Replacement Technologies/ ICS/ Cyberdyne Systems ('Total Recall'/ 'The 6th Day'/ 'The Running Man'/ 'The Terminator')

If you're an Arnold Schwarzenegger character, there's likely an evil corporation bent on your destruction. (There's also an outside shot you might be pregnant — in which case, congrats!) Whether you've had your mind manipulated by a shady memory implanting service, been cloned against your will, forced to compete in a violent futuristic game show or programmed to prevent the existence of a future human hero and sent back in time only to be reprogrammed and sent back in time again by that very same hero to protect a rapscallion-y ten-year-old version of himself who then teaches you the value of human life ... well, anyway, the point is these corporations are, like, super-evil.

Evil Rating: Kris Jenner Evil

Sony Pictures

This week: There's no trip to Mars or Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the remake of "Total Recall" has Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston and — by popular demand — a new three-breasted prostitute.

Also new this week is Clint Eastwood and Amy Adams in the baseball drama "Trouble With the Curve," the ensemble high school reunion romantic dramedy "10 Years" and the female-driven musical comedy "Pitch Perfect."

'Total Recall'

Sony

Box Office: $59 million
Rotten Tomatoes: 30% Rotten
Storyline: In this remake of the 1990 movie of the same name that is also based on a Philip K. Dick short story, factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) comes to believe that he's a real-life spy after visiting Rekall, a company that implants fantasy memories. Quaid then goes on the lam to find clues about his true identity in this dystopian sci-fi action movie directed by Len Wiseman. Kate Beckinsale stars as Quaid's lethal wife, Jessica Biel plays a leader of the Resistance and Bryan Cranston appears as the corrupt chancellor of the United Federation of Britain.
Extras! Both the DVD and Blu-ray contain commentary by Wiseman, a gag reel, "Science Fiction vs. Science Fact" and behind-the-scenes featurettes like "Designing the Fall," which explores the movie's most FX-heavy sequence.
We Say: People dogged this movie because, unlike its 1990 predecessor starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, it lacked a trip to Mars and the wry, satirical humor of Paul Verhoeven's film. The remake retains the three-breasted hooker and ups the action, especially when Terminatrix Beckinsale hunts down Farrell and Biel through some gorgeously rendered sets that recall superior sci-fi films like "Blade Runner." If this "Total Recall" were titled anything else, maybe viewers would have appreciated it more as a pretty decent sci-fi adventure instead of constantly comparing it to its predecessor, a movie that had a completely different tone.

'Trouble With the Curve'

Warner Bros.

Box Office: $36 million
Rotten Tomatoes: 52% Rotten
Storyline: Gus Lobel (Clint Eastwood) has been a top baseball scout for decades, but the Atlanta Braves' front office is starting to question his judgment. Gus turns to his estranged daughter, Mickey (Amy Adams), for help as she accompanies her father on a scouting trip and jeopardizes her own career as an attorney to save his. Justin Timberlake is also on board as a rival scout gunning for Gus.
Extras! Both the DVD and Blu-ray contain "Rising Through the Ranks," in which Eastwood and director Rob Lorenz talk about their 20 years of making films together, and "For the Love of the Game," in which Adams and Timberlake talk about secretly identifying with their characters.
We Say: Although the movie plods along at the long, leisurely pace of a baseball game with few hits, Eastwood still exudes charisma with his usual cantankerous-octogenarian shtick and has terrific chemistry with Adams.

'10 Years'

Anchor Bay

Box Office: $203,373
Rotten Tomatoes: 60% Fresh
Storyline: This ensemble romantic dramedy and directorial debut of Jamie Linden follows a group of friends (including Channing Tatum, Rosario Dawson, Chris Pratt, Aubrey Plaza, Ari Graynor, Justin Long and many more) that still have a lot of growing up to do on the night of their high school reunion and subsequent homecoming party three years later.
Extras!: Both the DVD and Blu-ray contain deleted scenes.
We Say: This sentimental romp doesn't break any new ground, but it's difficult not to be charmed by such a likable young cast that has real chemistry together ... even though some of the characters they play are people you'd ditch on the other side of the room at a party and never call up after high school graduation.

'Pitch Perfect'

Universal

Box Office: $64 million
Rotten Tomatoes: 79% Fresh
Storyline: Beca (Anna Kendrick) isn't cut out for any clique at her new college but finds herself mixed up with an eclectic group of gals — mean, sweet, weird and otherwise — with only one thing in common: How great they sound when they sing together. Beca helps the group bust out with all new mash-up arrangements as they climb to the top of college music competitions in this comedy costarring Anna Camp, Brittany Snow and Rebel Wilson.
Extras!: Both the DVD and Blu-ray have deleted and extended scenes, "Line-O-Rama" and behind-the-scenes featurettes; BD exclusives include more "Line-O-Ramas" and Internet-connected BD-Live features.
We Say: This offbeat, sweet-natured ensemble effort will appeal to the "Glee" club and those that just want to enjoy some toe-tapping numbers. It is "Bridesmaids"'s Wilson, in particular, whose spirited performance makes this more entertaining than it probably should be.

 Also New This Week:

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days"
"Liberal Arts"
"Sometimes a Great Notion" Blu-ray
"Death Ship" Blu-ray
"The Good Doctor"
"Sleepwalk with Me"
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Blu-ray

Warner Bros.

"The Hobbit" hits theaters this Friday and besides all the hobbits, orcs, elves, humans, dragons and Gollums, there's also a group of sturdy folk who form the backbone of the movie: Dwarves.

This isn't the first time dwarves have been portrayed in film, of course — and it's not the first time that little people have been played on screen by regular-sized folks, either. But "The Hobbit," with its band of stout and heroic dwarven heroes, is undoubtedly one of the most prominent portrayals of little people in Hollywood's long and checkered history.

So that got us thinking: Where is "The Hobbit" going to end up ranking on the scale of most positive to most demeaning portrayals of little people in film? To help you decide that for yourself, here's a quick continuum of nine prominent movies featuring little people, ranked from most positive to most demeaning.

1. 'The Station Agent' (2003)

Miramax

Back before he was known as "Golden Globe winner Peter Dinklage," Golden Globe winner Peter Dinklage rose to fame on the strength of his role as Finbar McBride in the 2003 indie "The Station Agent." A reclusive man who finds solace from an unkind world in his love of trains, Fin is a complex and moving depiction of the emotional toll society sometimes exacts on outsiders. The fact that Fin is a little person informs the character but is only part of his persona, which immediately elevates "The Station Agent" above just about everything else Hollywood has given us. Plus, you know, it introduced us to the genius of Dinklage. That's a double win.

2. 'Time Bandits' (1981)

Anchor Bay

A bit of typical madcap whimsy from director Terry Gilliam, "Time Bandits" focuses on a group of six dwarves who, tired of their station in life, decide to become time traveling pirates, searching the centuries for untold treasure. Sure, being crooks isn't necessarily taking the high road, but these little people (one of whom is portrayed by Kenny Baker, best known as R2-D2 in "Star Wars") turn out to be loyal and courageous (if somewhat cantankerous) heroes. Plus, that job they are sick of? Turns out they're God's assistants. And that doesn't look too bad on the resume, whatever your size.

3. 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me' (1999)

New Line

Okay, so the role in question in this blockbuster hit is basically a joke about Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) having a little person duplicate of himself. But the difference between "Austin Powers" and some of the other supposed comedies on our list is that Verne Troyer was very much in on the joke. As Mini-Me, he more than held his own, delivering jokes and punches to Austin Powers' face with equal verve. All the proof you need is in the fact that he was brought back with a greatly expanded role in "Austin Powers in Goldmember" three years later.

4. 'Total Recall' (1990)

Carolco

Arnold Schwarzenegger's sci-fi hit is fondly remembered for a number of different things, but near the top of just about everyone's list is Debbie Lee Carrington's portrayal of Thumbelina. We have kind of mixed feelings about the character; on the one hand, she's an awesome, ass-kicking fighter who takes down bad guys with knives, machines guns and pretty much whatever else happens to be available. On the other hand, she's also a hooker, which plays into some old, unfortunate and somewhat inexplicable stereotypes. Overall, though, this one has to land on the plus side of the column just for Carrington's panache. You go, girl.

5. 'Snow White and the Huntsman' (2012)

Universal

In many ways, "Snow White and the Huntsman" is similar to "The Hobbit." There are several good things about the way the dwarves are portrayed in the film, as they are loyal, heroic and steadfast. But the film was engulfed in controversy due to the fact that all seven roles were filled by regular-sized actors even though CGI and make-up made them almost entirely unrecognizable anyway. The Little People of America joined several acting groups in protesting and boycotting the film in response. The on-screen results certainly could have been worse, but the studio's off-screen handling of the situation could have been much more sensitive, which is why this one lands smack dab in the middle of our list.

6. 'Freaks' (1932)

Universal

Before "Freaks" hit theaters in 1932, director Tod Browning ("Dracula") was a Hollywood superstar. After it hit theaters, his career was over, as the film sparked such shock and outrage that it was banned in some countries for the next three decades. "Freaks" tells the story of a little person named Hans who marries a regular-sized lady; when it turns out that she's just using him to get his inheritance, Hans' friends in the circus sideshow take a brutal and terrible revenge. The film used real circus "freaks" and gets points for showing their tight-knit community as well as for becoming a cult classic in the '60s and '70s for holding a mirror up to society. Still, we have a gut feeling that you could get a little more positive than a movie called "Freaks." Just saying.

7. 'The Terror of Tiny Town' (1938)

Columbia Pictures

Now we're full on into exploitation territory. "The Terror of Tiny Town" is one of the most reviled and critically panned movies ever. Hitting theaters in 1938, the movie is a western comedy featuring a cast comprised entirely of little people. It's basically over an hour of short jokes, with the little people engaging in one embarrassing farce after another. Still, it did at least employ an entire cast of little people. And as terrible as "The Terror of Tiny Town" is, sadly, it's not even close to the worst thing Hollywood has done. For example ...

8. 'Midgets vs. Mascots' (2009)

First Look

This straight-to-DVD exercise in stupidity has a pretty simple premise: Five little people compete against five corporate and sports mascots for money. What ensues is, well, exactly what you'd expect: Dudes in Styrofoam gladiator costumes mud-wrestling little people for yuks. How low exactly does this film go? Well, it features a full frontal sequence starring the late Gary Coleman. Ron Jeremy, Jason Mewes and Scottie Pippin are also among those who now owe the world an apology.

9. 'Tiptoes' (2003)

Sony Pictures

It's hard to fathom what anyone was thinking when they made the indie drama "Tiptoes," especially since it stars a legitimately excellent cast: Gary Oldman, Kate Beckinsale, Patricia Arquette and Matthew McConaughey are all in it, as is Peter Dinklage. So, honestly, it shouldn't be one of the most excruciatingly embarrassing films ever made. But it is. Why? Well, the plot is basically about a regular-sized guy (McConaughey) who spends his life hiding his secret shame — that the rest of his family are little people. And the worst part isn't even the sequence where he pitches a fit when he discovers his newborn child is a little person; it's the fact that his brother isn't played by Dinklage, but rather by Oldman, who literally played the part on his knees to emulate the height difference. Yes. Read that again. It sounds like a gag that would have been rejected by "Tropic Thunder" for going too far, except it really happened, in a real movie, with a real Oscar-nominated actor. Ladies and gentlemen: The most demeaning film about little people ever made.

Jessica Biel's breakout role was on the small screen as wholesome Mary Camden in the hit family drama "7th Heaven." She soon beefed up her career and her body with starring roles in action movies like "Blade: Trinity," "The A-Team" and the "Total Recall" remake.

Jessica isn't just good at beating up the bad guys. She's devoted equal parts of her career to pretty much every kind of movie genre imaginable from horror ("The Texas Chainsaw Massacre") to period dramas ("The Illusionist," "Hitchcock") to romantic comedies ("Playing For Keeps").

But no matter what role Jessica takes on, she always brings her signature girl next door charm and stunning good looks with her. Putting a Hot People Looking Hot gallery together for Mrs. Justin Timberlake is an honor and a privilege.

Sony / Sony / Fox

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Sony Pictures

"Total Recall" had a forgettable debut at the box office this weekend, as according to Film.com, the Colin Farrell sci-fi remake was soundly thrashed by reigning champion "The Dark Knight Rises."

Taking in an estimated $36.4 million, "The Dark Knight Rises" won the box office crown for the third weekend in a row. "Total Recall," meanwhile, landed in second place with a somewhat soft $26 million opening frame, with fellow newcomer "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days" finishing third with $14.7 million.

For a full rundown of the weekend box office, including figures for returning hits "Ice Age: Continental Drift" and "Ted," head to Film.com.

There is no trip to Mars in the new remake of "Total Recall," but ruthless corporate leader Vilos Cohaagen is back and played by Bryan Cranston. Unlike the original movie, Cohaagen has a complicated, almost father-son relationship with Doug Quaid, played by Colin Farrell.

"I wanted the impression to be that Colin's character was acting out as a teenage son and he just needed tough love," he tells NextMovie.

When Cohaagen and Farrell finally come to blows in the film's third act, Cranston admits that it was the biggest fight sequence of his career.

"It was like orchestrating a dance," he says.

Although fans love Ronny Cox's spirited performance as Cohaagen in the 1990 original, Cranston wanted to do something different.

"I watched 'Total Recall' again before I played the character specifically not to step in Ronny Cox's shoes and do something derivative of what he did so well," says Cranston.

Cranston, an award-winning actor for "Breaking Bad," gets in touch with his even darker side on-screen in "Total Recall" on August 3.

Lionsgate

I was 15 years old when "Total Recall" came out, the summer where childhood was saying its final goodbyes and independence was readying itself for an introduction. Going to the movies without grown-ups was still something of a novelty, particularly ones with so much gratuitous sex and violence.

Seeing "Total Recall," however, wasn't just a night out that felt more adult, it was a milestone for me in understanding how something could be both thoughtful and crowd-pleasing at the same time.

See, I was friends with Scott Silverberg, who was a year older anyway, but his older brother Derek had a car. A Volvo, sure, but it was a car, and it was loaded with Black Sabbath tapes and he constantly sprayed this vanilla-almond air freshener that made it smell like a marzipan with wheels. He wasn't a rocket scientist, or even very nice, but it was a car and that meant that he would take his brother Scott places and if you were lucky enough to be friends with Scott, you'd get to go, too.

Scott called me to say he was going to the opening night of the new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie and there was room for one more if I wanted to go. Six months earlier, my mother would have had the clout to say "no way," but she wasn't going to fight the tides anymore. She knew I'd start doing things of which she wouldn't necessarily approve. Not that going to the movies was something she'd have a problem with – quite the contrary. My love of cinema comes directly from my parents, who had a rather progressive attitude toward adult oriented films. If the movie was mature and had something to say, they were cool with me watching it, which is how I ended up seeing "A Clockwork Orange" at the age of 11... so we could "discuss" it.

Schwarzenegger movies, it was determined, had no redeeming value.

TriStar

I saw their point, but disagreed on one key component: it was a great deal of fun to do an AHHHHNOLD voice. I'd seen "The Running Man" and "Conan the Barbarian" on tape or cable and the idea that this titanic Teuton with a pituitary condition was now going to get caught up in a crisis of paradoxical existences was something that seemed truly thought provoking. Cartesian dualism goes Commando? What could be a better comment on our culture? (Plus it was legit sci-fi, which just added more logs on the fire.)

Yeah, sure, go see whatever garbage you want, Mom said.

A little sheepish, I rode with the Silverbergs to the theater, where another crowd of Scott's older brother's friends (some of them girls!) were waiting. We had a large block of seats and, for one of the first times, I felt cool. Then the movie started and we went to the future.

My love of science fiction (which usually came with the stamp of approval because it involved reading and, once in a blue moon, some actual science -- case in point, a blue moon comes about once in every two-and-a-half years) was even stronger than any desire for adolescent independence. From the first scene, I was hooked.

"Total Recall" is a remarkable melange of nerdery and mindscrabmling big concepts. Giant television walls, x-ray corridors, fingernail colors that change in a flash, homing devices up the schnozz, artificially implanted memory engrams (or ARE they?) and giant heads that you can wear as masks and also use as bombs. Plus mutants on Mars. Oh, baby.

But while the geeky stuff was obviously in there for twerps like me, there was still Arnold, excuse me, AHHHHNOLD, breaking spines and using people as human shields for, how does one say this delicately, the dumb kids.

Also check out: 'Total Recall' Is a Cover Song Gone a Little Wrong

When Arnold beats the hell out of his fellow construction workers and turns one into a smear on the cement wall, all were cheering. After this sequence, there was yet another propulsive plot twist that further revealed "Total Recall" was more of a headscratcher than some were expecting. I'll never forget the sound of Ian Bronstein turning to Josh Cohen (neither of them Mensa candidates) and saying, "whoa, this movie is really GOOD!"

And it WAS really good. Cool, somewhat heavy science fiction ideas and bone-crushing action. It was a helluva pick for something of a landmark night. And when Mom asked me if the movie was good, and I couldn't stop babbling about the details of the sets, and the funny one-liners and the images of a terraformed Mars and how I STILL didn't know if it was a dream or not, she probably thought I really just snuck off somewhere and drank Coors Light in a field.

Not the case, unless I had the memories implanted.

Sony

What about the 15 year olds of today? Well, clearly they're a lot less sheltered than I was, what with their Skypes and their Master Chiefs, but cinema transcends the ages, no? Well, sure it does, but I don't see much chance of this one being a timeless classic of the next generation. Not with so many good summer sci-fi and action flicks out there.

Yet the basic premise is still cooked in there. Are we really just the sum of our experiences? Can we be fundamentally changed if new recollections, even false ones, were to be implanted in our minds? Is it just as good to remember something as it is to experience it? These are all heavy topics, and if young people are being exposed to 'em for the first time, who cares if it is in an inferior version of the film?

Of equal importance is the downright fierce performance of one Kate Beckinsale. You've never seen one woman slink down so many hallways as she does in the new "Total Recall." She's absolutely gorgeous and she's got great hair and if anyone other than Milla Jovovich were to roundhouse me to the face, I'd want it to be her. Yes, have late night discussions about the specious present versus memory, but save some room for just how fetching Ms. Beckinsale looks in those boots, okay?

Maybe this movie will be a lasting memory for 15 year olds after all.

Check out an interview with director Len Wiseman:

After roles in movies like "Blade: Trinity" and the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," it's safe to say Jessica Biel was well prepared for the physical challenges of "Total Recall," in which she plays the rebel agent Melina.

"It is relentless," she says of the pacing of the remake of 1990's "Total Recall." "It's like a bullet train that you jump on and can't get off."

In the movie, Biel and Colin Farrell are pursued by Kate Beckinsale, a woman with a Terminator-like singular mission to eliminate them. One battle scene between Beckinsale and Biel in an elevator car is particularly brutal.

"We were very polite about this fight, for sure," says Biel. "We would be ripping each other's throats out and then, the second Len [Wiseman] called cut, we were immediately apologizing. 'Did I get you? Are you OK? I think I caught your hair. Oh my God, thank goodness!' It was very funny."

See if Biel gets the better of Beckinsale in this ultimate action-heroine face-off when "Total Recall" opens in theaters on Aug. 3.

Also check out: Kate Beckinsale Was Nearly the Three-Breasted Hooker / Colin Farrell Talks Putting His Privates in Harm's Way / NextMovie Trivia Challenge – Movie Remakes Edition

We don't think the classic line "Get your ass to Mars" is in the remake, but that doesn't mean we're not going to refer to it every chance we get.

Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel and other mind-benders walked the red carpet (OR DID THEY?) in celebration of director Len Wiseman's upgraded remix of Paul Verhoeven's 1990 sci-fi cult classic, "Total Recall." We noticed that no one arrived via Johnny Cab, which is ... well, a little disappointing, actually.

Check out our collection of pics from the premiere, and get your ass to "Total Recall" (see?) when it hits theaters on Aug. 3.

In the remake of "Total Recall," Kate Beckinsale gets to play something she's never really played before: a villain.

"She is crazed and slightly unstable, so that's always fun for an actor to play," she says of her character, Lori Quaid, who may or may not be really married to Colin Farrell's character.

When scheduling conflicted with Beckinsale's role in "Underworld: Awakening," she almost signed on to play the cameo of the three-breasted hooker.

"I feel like I dodged a bullet there," she admits.

See how well Beckinsale plays bad when "Total Recall" opens in theaters on August 3.

Also check out: Colin Farrell Talks Putting His Privates in Harm's Way / NextMovie Trivia Challenge – Movie Remakes Edition

Sony Pictures

22 years ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger took Mars by storm and made human shields seem practical, but now Colin Farrell thinks he can one-up The Governator with a "Total Recall" for today's demanding special effects hound.

Director Len Wiseman of "Underworld" fame lends his eye for sci-fi mayhem — as well as wife Kate Beckinsale — for this new iteration of Douglas Quaid (Farrell) and his quest to figure out whether he's a spy with a memory problem or just a guy on a bad (implanted) acid trip. Jessica Biel and "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston co-star.

1. Walter White really wants Colin Farrell back, presumably to make meth for him.

2. All those years of playing "Halo" have finally paid off.

3. Somehow Imperial Stormtroopers from "Star Wars" evaded security and blitzed the set with typically bad aim.

4. Consider that a divorce.

"The hover cars and the way they travel up buildings is very similar [to 'Minority Report']," says Farrell. "I feel bits of Fritz Lang's 'Metropolis' and 'Blade Runner.'"

There's also some dizzying action in this remake of the 1990 "Total Recall," and Farrell put his privates on the line during an anti-gravity scene that required him to be suspended on wires.

"My balls were getting pinched, I was getting welts on my ass and the blood was rushing to my face because I was hanging upside down for 20 minutes," says Farrell. "You're supposed to look like you have some semblance of control and calm, but you're struggling."

See for yourself if Farrell hides the hurt when "Total Recall" opens in theaters on August 3.

Samuel Goldwyn Films

This week: A serial killer wrecks havoc at a high school in "Detention," the meta horror-comedy starring "Hunger Games" tribute Josh Hutcherson.

Also new this week is the teen coming-of-age flick "LOL" with Miley Cyrus, the impressive Blu-ray collection "Forever Marilyn" featuring seven of Marilyn Monroe's best films and a new edition of "Total Recall" on Blu-ray.

'Detention'

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Box Office: N/A
Rotten Tomatoes: 33% Rotten
Storyline: This meta horror-comedy hybrid stars Josh Hutcherson and Shanley Caswell as students who are trying to survive their final year of high school as a serial killer called "Cinderhella" stalks the student body. Dane Cook stars as the master of detention, Principal Verge.
Extras! Both the DVD and Blu-ray contain screen tests and the "Riffing with Dane" featurette.
We Say: Its spirited self-referential shtick doesn't put "Detention" on par with "The Cabin in the Woods" or any of the "Scream" movies, but this SXSW festival favorite gets a hall pass for those susceptible to the charms of another genre-skewering spoof.

'LOL'

Lions Gate

Box Office: $46,500
Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
Storyline: This remake of the popular coming-of-age French film stars Miley Cyrus as Lola — her friends call her "Lol" — who is brokenhearted by her ex and discovering that her best friend (Douglas Booth) might be the love of her young life. Demi Moore co-stars as Lola's frazzled mother.
Extras! Lisa Azuelos, who also wrote and directed the original film, provides commentary with two supporting players on the DVD and Blu-ray.
We Say: OMG! If your idea of a compelling story is watching Cyrus lie around and frantically text her friends — which is exactly what is pictured on the cover — you'll be ROTFL at how this movie gets you. For the rest of us who communicate in a language with full sentences, something crucial is lost in translation.

'Forever Marilyn' Blu-ray Collection

20th Century Fox

Box Office: N/A
Rotten Tomatoes: N/A
Storyline: There will never be another Marilyn Monroe, a timeless Hollywood icon whose sex appeal inspires but is never attained. This set includes seven of her most popular films (five on Blu-ray for the first time), including "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," "How to Marry a Millionaire," "River of No Return," "There's No Business Like Show Business," "The Seven Year Itch," "Some Like It Hot" and "The Misfits."
Extras! The best bonus features are on "Some Likes It a Hot," which includes two new making-of documentaries, and "The Seven Year Itch," which has a "Marilyn Monroe Interactive Timeline" to tinker with.
We Say: Say good-bye to Norma Jean and dated standard-definition presentations and hello to moviedom's quintessential blonde bombshell, all of whose movies have been lovingly remastered in this must-own collection for Monroe fans.

'Total Recall' Blu-ray Mind-Bending Edition

Lions Gate

Box Office: $119 million
Rotten Tomatoes: 83% Fresh
Storyline: In this 1990 sci-fi favorite directed by Paul Verhoeven, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Quaid, a construction worker haunted by dreams of Mars who visits a company called Rekall to buy artificial memories of a Martian vacation. Something goes wrong during the process and Quaid suspects that he might be a secret agent whose memory has been erased, and that his wife (Sharon Stone) might be out to kill him. To get answers, Quaid takes off to the Red Planet, where he meets a ragtag community of mutants fighting for survival.
Extras! This Blu-ray double dip makes up for its predecessor's lack of extras with a commentary track, an interview with Verhoeven, several making-of featurettes, a restoration comparison and a new documentary.
We Say: The jury is still out on the PG-13 "Total Recall" remake making its way to theaters this summer, but this R-rated original retains its cult appeal for many reasons, including the three-breasted prostitute that Schwarzenegger encounters in a Martian brothel.

Also New This Week:

"La Grande Illusion" Blu-ray
"ATM"
"Fortress"
"Firstborn"
"Reality of Love"
"The Bunny Game"
"4.3.2.1"

We never doubted for a second that director Len Wiseman wouldn't embrace the opportunity to bring back one of the most iconic throw-away characters in the history of sci-fi cinema.

Well, maybe we did a couple of weeks ago at the San Diego Comic-Con, and our lingering doubt prompted NextMovie's own Kevin Polowy to ask pretty much everyone who came down the press line (whether they were involved in "Total Recall" or not): Is there indeed going to be a three-breasted hooker in the rebooted adventures of Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell)?

The answers ranged from sly (Bryan Cranston) to exasperatingly confrontational (Jessica Biel), but it was Kate Beckinsale who finally assured us that, yes, despite the PG-13 rating, we will be seeing the return of the most important character in all of "Total Recall" lore. And her triple-breasts are apparently worthy of envy.

Watch Kevin's journey to the truth in the video above. "Total Recall" opens Aug. 3.

IMDb

Most of the time, when someone only has a few minutes of screen time in a film, they don't get a whole lot of attention. You know, cameos, walk-ons and extras don't often take the spotlight away from superstars. But when you have three breasts, well, that tends to change more things than just your bra size.

Case in point: According to The Hollywood Reporter, "Total Recall" actress Kaitlyn Leeb has become a viral sensation thanks to her recent appearance at Comic-Con in character — and now she wants the world to know that her character's third breast is just part of the costume.

Sorry, guys.

"There were a bunch of people at Comic-Con asking if I had surgery for the third one," Leeb said in a recent interview. "Others thought that the two on the side were real. I guess that's the one thing that bothers me the most is that they think I'm out there prancing around Comic-Con with my breasts out. They really are not mine."

Of course, it's not really a surprise that a three-breasted woman would get attention from the Comic-Con crowd, or any crowd at all for that matter. After all, the original three-breasted hooker who appeared in the 1990 version of "Total Recall" is perhaps that film's most fondly remembered legacy.

And in the end, that's perfectly cool with Leeb, who is soaking it all in.

"It feels amazing that you’re recognized. It's surreal, the past couple of days. It's all new and exciting."

You know what else is new and exciting? Three breasts, fake or not.

The dream lives on.

There are some questions that humans have been asking for thousands of years: What is the meaning of life? What happens when you die? What is art?

We added one more burning question to that list at Comic-Con 2012: Is there a three-breasted hooker in "Total Recall"? It's a question that could have baffled us for years to come, but luckily the cast of "Total Recall" gave us the answer so we don't have to wait until the movie comes out on August 3.

Watch the video above for some shocking revelations, shocked reactions to this question and, oh yeah, some (not so shockingly) hot stars.

Getty Images

If there was one victor among the movies paneling at San Diego Comic-Con this year, it'd have to be … Marvel. Or was it "Man of Steel"? Or maybe "The Hobbit"?

Another Con's in the can, and we've emerged with new intel on a handful of high-profile mega-movies. There weren't necessarily any groundbreaking casting announcements this year, but first footage from movies like the new Superman flick, "Oz: The Great and Powerful," "Pacific Rim" and "Elysium" had fans and bloggers buzzing big time.

Check out the biggest movie scoops below. What we should add, #16: Getting in line at 7 a.m. does not guarantee you entry into the con's marquee venue (Hall H). Not even for a 6 p.m. panel. And yep, we learned that the hard way. – By Bryan Enk and Kevin Polowy

There's a Whole Lot of Marvel Movies Going On as 'Phase Two' Is Unveiled
Excelsior! Marvel Mania hit Comic-Con as the studio revealed its master plan (well, some of it, anyway) for the next wave of super-movies (or "Phase Two," as it's being called). Some of the upcoming sequels got official titles as "Thor: The Dark World" (awesome) will hit theaters on Nov. 8, 2013; "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" (AWESOME) will be released on April 4, 2014; "Guardians of the Galaxy" (we still can't believe they're doing a movie of that at all, much less this soon) will come out on Aug. 1, 2014 and, to the delight of the geekiest of fanboys, Edgar Wright's take on "Ant-Man" will probably creep into theaters sometime in 2015. The star of the Marvel panel was — no surprise here — Robert Downey, Jr., who danced on stage to the delight of fans and showed off some "Iron Man 3" footage that gave us a glimpse of the new suit. Oh, and Ben Kingsley is indeed playing the Mandarin, which is, of course, perfect.

Sci-Fi Is the Future
What a week it was for sci-fi films at Comic-Con. Three of the best-received movie panels were the futuristic mind-benders "Elysium," "Looper" and "Pacific Rim." Neil Blomkamp's "Elysium" pits Matt Damon and other freedom fighters against the one percenters hovering in a spacecraft over a ruined Earth; Rian Johnson's "Looper" finds Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a time-hopping assassin tasked with knocking off an older version of himself (Bruce Willis); and Guillermo del Toro's "Pacific Rim" pits giant robots against giant monsters, giving us all giant nerdgasms. "Looper" lands this fall, while "Elysium" and "Rim" are set to thrill in the spring and summer of 2013, respectively.

Getty Images

At Least the First Seven Minutes of 'Breaking Dawn - Part 2' Are Going to Be Really Good
We knew we were going to see something from the last installment in the "Twilight" series, but we certainly weren't expecting to be treated to the entire first seven minutes of the film — nor, admittedly, were we expecting those seven minutes to be quite so jaw-droppingly good. "Breaking Dawn - Part 2" picks up right where "Part 1" left off, with Bella opening her red vampire eyes; from there, she gives Edward a powerful hug that takes his breath away (so to speak) before they're off to the forest for her first hunt. The sight of Bella scrambling up the face of a mountain, drunk with bloodlust for a poor mountain climber with a bleeding hand wound is pretty sweet, but nothing can prepare you for her claiming a freaking mountain lion as her first official meal as one of the undead. Kristen Stewart has never looked more beautiful — death most definitely becomes her. | Read "Twilight" panel recap

'Man of Steel' is Man With Some Edge
Imagine if Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan have a baby and name it Kal-El. Yeah that'd probably be one lucky yet confused kid. But that's how "Man of Steel" producer Thomas Tull describes the new Superman reboot, which is music to our Batman-loving, "Superman Returns"-hating ears (Snyder directs while Nolan produces). The Hollywood Reporter claims the trailer — which starts with a young Supes saving a busload of children, has a clearly darker tone than previous Clark Kent incarnations and also give us peaks at Russell Crowe (Jor-El), Amy Adams (Lois Lane), Michael Shannon (Zod) and, of course, Henry Cavill's grown-up hero — brought fans to tears. "Goosebumps" and "chills" were also common refrains on the Twittersphere. The most super news? You won't have to wait too long to see it yourself. The teaser will wow moviegoers before Nolan's final Bat flick, "The Dark Knight Rises" starting Friday.

Stallone & Schwarzenegger Just a Couple of Bros
It's not every year you get action titans like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger sharing the stage in Hall H, but that's exactly what happened with Thursday's mantastic "Expendables 2" panel. There were career retrospectives, a trailer and new clip, and appearances by co-stars Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and Randy Couture ... but really the most intriguing thing about this hype fest for the August release was observing to the genuine connection between the two legendary screen stars, who have been buds for over three decades. Of course, like any bromance, there's a healthy competition in place. "Sly's killed 288 people, I've killed 289," the former Governator said. But who's counting? | Read "Expendables" panel recap

Bros Part 2: 'The Hunger Games' Tributes'
While at the "Hunger Games" DVD/Blu-ray junket (it's out Aug. 18, you know), we also bore witness to the tight bond formed between Tributes Alexander Ludwig (Cato), Dayo Okeniyi (Thresh) and Jack Quaid (Marvel). The trio, waiting to do interviews on a Hard Rock Hotel terrace, laughed and goofed with each other incessantly like they were old college chums (or as they and other "Games" cast members often describe the experience, summer camp alums), talking about everything from their love for the cult comedy film "Super Troopers" (it's the bear-screwing scene that gets them) to prospective web series ideas. It's a shame — for their friendship, anyway — that none of them return for "Catching Fire."

Yes, There Is Absolutely a Three-Breasted Hooker in 'Total Recall'
Sure, hovercars are cool and all, but the question fans (okay, or at least us) really have on the top of their minds is: Will Len Wiseman's reboot of the Philip K. Dick sci-fi yarn/Arnold Schwarzenegger actioner include that iconic three-breasted hooker? We asked the cast on the red carpet, and while co-stars Bryan Cranston and Jessica Biel were hesitant to spill the beans (though "Breaking Bad" star Cranston does admit to having his own three-breasted prostitute), Kate Beckinsale came right out and confirmed it. And yes, they're fabulous, the actress (and wife to director Len Wiseman) says. Wiseman also teased the genetic marvel's appearance in the panel footage. Three cheers for all of you. | Watch "Total Recall" cast confirm it

Getty Images

A Whole Lotta 'Hobbit' Appeases the Masses
After mixed reactions to the 48 frames-per-second footage shown earlier this year at CinemaCon, perhaps the film with the most to prove was Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" (a two-part prequel to the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy). Jackson decided not to show the Comic-Con crowd footage in his fancy new 48fps style (saying it can't be fully appreciated in excerpts), so the director made up for it with quantity, showing a whopping 13 minutes of crowd-pleasing scenes spanning both films. Jackson was joined on stage by Andy Serkis, Richard Armitage, Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan and Elijah Wood, and the crowd ate it up, rewarding the Middle-earthlings with a standing ovation to close the panel.

'Looper' Is the New '12 Monkeys'
We've been waiting almost 17 years for something to be referred to as "the next '12 Monkeys,'" and it looks like we're finally getting it in the form of Rian Johnson's new mind-crunching sci-fi action film, "Looper." Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the writer-director's unofficial muse (they previously rocked the house together in "Brick"), joined him for the panel, much to the delight of the Con crowd. The trailer released a few months ago was amazing enough, but the extended look we were given here promises a film that's going to be as exciting and entertaining as it is thought-provoking and smarty-pants cool (just like "Monkeys"). It's fun to see JGL and Jeff Daniels, who plays the head "looper," reuniting after their terrific teamwork in another bit of noir nastiness, "The Lookout," but it's the scenes between Gordon-Levitt and Willis — as they play the same person — that we're most looking forward to. In particular, there's a tense scene in a diner that demonstrates the idea of "beating yourself up" in rather imaginative ways. The film opens Sept. 28. | Watch "Looper" cast interviews

'Elysium' Is a Worthy Successor to 'District 9'
Peter Jackson introduced Con-goers back in 2009 to the scrappy duo of writer-director Neill Blomkamp and actor Sharlto Copley, who were in San Diego to promote their rather impressive-looking science-fiction film, "District 9." We couldn't wait to see what Blomkamp had up his sleeve as a follow-up, though we feared he may fall victim to the infamous "sophomore slump" in trying to at least match something as amazing as "D9." Now, after seeing the footage for his new movie, "Elysium," we fear nothing. Blomkamp has his satirical eye on the rich's exploitation of the poor in this story of a working stiff (Matt Damon) on a ravaged future Earth whose only chance for survival after being exposed to radiation is to journey to an off-world space station where the wealthy live disease- and worry-free. The grungy production design is astonishing enough, but our favorite part of it all has to be a nearly-unrecognizable Copley as some sort of bizarro "Mad Max"-ian villain who makes things difficult for our hero Mr. Damon. Bring on March 1, 2013! | Watch Sharlto Copley interview

'ParaNorman' Stars Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts
Laika Studios' stop-motion animation follow-up to the critically adored "Coraline" looks just as fun and family/adult-friendly as its predecessor, but after meeting three of the film's voice leads on the red carpet, it's almost a shame we won't see them appear together in live-action form. Kodi Smit-McPhee (who voices the lead, a bullied boy who can speak to the dead), Anna Kendrick and Christopher Mintz-Plasse riffed off one another with razor-sharp wit, even when attempting to convince us that paranormal spirits don't actually exist. That's right, none of them believe in ghosts. We'll just have to agree to disagree — and secretly hope one or all of them move into a haunted house one of these days. |  Watch "ParaNorman" stars talk ghosts

'Oz: The Great and Powerful' Looks Both Great and Powerful
Sam Raimi, ever the gentleman geek, treated us to the first trailer for this sorta-prequel to the 1939 classic, "The Wizard of Oz." Raimi's take on more whimsical material than what he's usually known for looks absolutely magical, with a Kansas-set prologue that's filmed in black-and-white as an homage to the first act of "Wizard." James Franco plays the carnival magician who takes the yellow brick road from shady cad to a truly "Great Man" via a tornado that whisks him away to a magical land known for its majestic Emerald City, mystical creatures, clever witches (both good and bad) and, of course, nasty flying monkeys. Franco's perfect for this part, and ever-smiling pixie Michelle Williams as Glinda is quite the stroke of casting genius, too; the trailer also offered brief glimpses of both Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz (who are playing the aforementioned "bad" witches) and closes with a very Raimi-esque shot of a certain green hand with black nails slamming onto a table. Well played again, Sam. | Watch the trailer

It Helped If You Had Actually Read 'The Host'
We knew before heading into Hall H for the "Twilight" panel that Stephenie Meyer was going to be in attendance … and not just to talk about "Breaking Dawn - Part 2." We knew she was going to be doing something in regards to "The Host," and at Comic-Con "something" usually means showing a clip or two. What we got was a seven-minute highlight reel showing key scenes from the sci-fi flick about a future world in which most of the human race has been enslaved by alien parasites. The footage was most definitely impressive (this movie has the kind of budget that the "Twilight" movies never quite had but probably should've) as it offered looks at Saorise Ronan as Wanderer, Diane Kruger as The Seeker and a strikingly well-designed dystopian landscape. However, somewhat unfortunately, the reel had no sense of a narrative thru-line, coming across simply as a mishmash of random scenes that probably left those unfamiliar with the book somewhat confused.

'Django' Looks Off the Chains
There were no major revelations to come out The Weinstein Company's Saturday morning panel for "Django Unchained," besides maybe Quentin Tarantino's declaration that a scene in the thriller about a slave-turned-bounty hunter (Jamie Foxx) involving a cameo by Jonah Hill could very well be the funniest thing he's ever written (and he did later announce at a different panel that "Django" will also come in comic book form). But what became further evident: The film looks fantastic. Tarantino, who appeared in Hall H with Foxx, Kerry Washington, Christoph Waltz, Walton Goggins and a ponytailed Don Johnson, unveiled an eight-minute sizzle reel that expanded on the film's recently released trailer and stoked the hearts and minds of Comic-Con faithful.

We Won't Be Getting Any 'Resident Evil' Movies For Much Longer
The wild and loose "Resident Evil: Retribution" panel was tons of fun, with Milla Jovovich being her usual dorky-hottie self with a crowd-pleasing sense of genuine excitement for being back in San Diego and getting to play the ass-kicking Alice for the fifth (!) time. The new RE movie makes for something of a reunion, as several cast alums are making appearances — whether their characters were killed off in previous installments or not. Michelle Rodriguez, a super-cool lady in her own right, seemed especially psyched to be back with "the family," though the get-together had a slightly bittersweet tone to it as director Paul W.S. Anderson announced the "Retribution" is, indeed, the "beginning of the end" for the series. In fact, Alice herself might shuffle off this mortal coil in the new film that opens on Sept. 14 — though Jovovich was being a bit coy about confirming that one way or the other. | Watch the cast talk zombie apocalypse

Get More 2012 Comic-Con Coverage from MTV

Universal

If there's one thing we know about Jason Bourne and his fellow secret agents it's that they are survivors. Whatever it takes to survive, they'll do. Kill a guy with a pen? Travel from country to country under a series of assumed identities? Drive a car backwards down the interstate? Done, done and done.

So it should be no surprise that according to Deadline, Universal has just announced that they are moving "The Bourne Legacy" from August 3 to August 10 in order to avoid being steamrolled by "The Dark Knight Rises" and "Total Recall."

Hey, the film may not have Matt Damon, but it clearly still has those survival instincts going full bore.

Of course, it's more than possible for two hit movies to co-exist peacefully at the box office; just two weeks ago, for instance, "Madagascar 3' and "Prometheus" both opened on the same day to big time numbers.

But those are two very different films, while "The Bourne Legacy," "Total Recall" and "The Dark Knight Rises" all fall into the same kind of butt-kicking male action demographic. And even though "The Dark Knight Rises" comes out on July 20, Universal figured it would be wiser just to put things off another week and get the spotlight to itself, especially since they're trying the rather tricky task of re-launching the franchise with a spinoff featuring Jeremy Renner instead of Damon.

So will the new August 10 date pay dividends for Universal and "The Bourne Legacy?" We have a feeling that, one way or another, the film will find a way to survive this summer's crowded box office.

After all, that's what Bourne does best.

NextMovie

Summer movies season is all about the blockbusters -- action movies with fist fights and guns blaring. Ch-ching!

But blockbusters aren't the only kind of movies at the multiplex this summer; they share space alongside quieter, more critically acclaimed fare. And let's face it, inside every loud, attention-grabbing, big-budget action movie, there's also a sensitive indie just wanting to get out. Right?

That's how we like to think of it, anyway. With our friend Old Red Jalopy, we've put a spin on 10 summer blockbusters to picture them as smaller, less explosion-heavy films instead. After all, it's not such a huge leap to see "The Avengers" as a moodily dysfunctional family, or Sylvester Stallone as an aging soldier contemplating the limits of his own mortality (with or without guns).

Take a look at these posters for 10 blockbusters re-imagined as thoughtful indies. And if some of you are even more likely to see them now, hey studios, we've got some marketing ideas for you ...

More NextMovie Originals

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Sony

My recollection is a little hazy since I first strapped myself in to Planet Fanboy's glowing chair of imagination (it reclines!) but, looking at this week's hot trailer, I have this nagging feeling that I've seen this "Total Recall" film before. Or at least something like it. I can't put my finger on it but. . .wait!

"Total Recall" is eerily similar to a movie from 1990 called "Total Recall," but it still comes off as different.

But if "Total Recall" isn't "Total Recall," then what the hell is it?

Leading Men

In 1990, the role of Doug Quaid was played by a ridiculous block of cement with an Austrian accent. I'm still not sure how it happened, but this guy, through sheer force of will, managed to become the world's biggest movie star. (He later switched careers and did something really low profile... gardening, maybe.)

Lionsgate

Watching him wake from troubling dreams (naked under a sheet) was something of a big deal in "Total Recall." It was the first time this ubermensch was ever shown in a human context. Don't worry, though. Fifteen minutes later he'd be using dead civilians as a human shield.

2012's version gives us Colin Farrell, a remarkable actor (see "In Bruges" or "The New World" or watch "Daredevil" again with lower expectations) who we know will nail the "acting" part of being the existentially perplexed Doug Quaid. His physique is also a little truer to Philip K. Dick's short story, where the character's name was Quail.

The World

The earlier film presented Earth as a giant mall parking lot.

The new film lets loose with production design from Patrick Tatopolous. The city scape has canals below and upside-down "Habitat '67" structures above. Not quite sure how that works, but I can say that it looks damn cool.

The plot-generating location of Rekall aren't mundane medical offices like in the original, but an Asian-inspired opium den replete with dozing hotties behind silk screens. (The implication being that you can get implants of a sexually transgressive past while engaging in a sexually transgressive present? Maybe the movie will explain this a bit more. . .)

The Action

In the original, Arhhhnold goes nuts and pummels his enemies into smears on cinder blocks. He then escapes to Mars, pretending to be a fat woman, and destroys his foils while issuing jokes. ("Screw you, Benny!" being my favorite. Because he's drilling a giant screw into his brain.)

Modern movie trailers being what they are, things move a bit too quickly to do a full-on comparison, but there are some notable differences. Len Wiseman and company have been boasting about their "all practical" choreographed first fight scene. I suppose it is, indeed, impressive that computers have figured out how to keep lenses in focus while they move so quickly, but, c'mon, raise your hand if you think it looks kinda silly.

Also, the rumors are true, no one goes to Mars this time. (No one goes to Mars in Dick's story, either, but in that Mars comes to us. . .kinda.) However, the world of "Total Recall" has a number of interesting locations – the Asian fusion setting, the sky freeway, a robo factory and some room or something where it looks like gravity gets a nice shake.

I doubt we'll see human shields, but one quick shot shows Quaid (or someone) smashing through security glass, similar to the then state-of- the-art transportation X-ray scene of the original.

The Ladies

Getty Images

Quaid's wife (or is she?) in the original was played by Sharon Stone, a star on the rise. The love interest in his head (or is it?) was played by Rachel Ticotin, who has been working consistently, but I'll be damned if I can remember anything else she was in. There was also a prostitute with three boobs.

The new wife is Kate Beckinsale, who is also the wife of the film's director Len Wiseman. She is a very attractive woman and she wears her costumes really well.

The new sidekick/love interest is Jessica Biel, proving that, yes, in 2012 you can have two brunettes in one movie. My, how far we've come. Biel has, about .5 seconds of screen time in this trailer, but you can tell she is the more adorable and caring of the two women, because in the one shot she has you can really see the whites of her eyes.

At some point the two women will fight on screen. If this scene isn't shown at Comic-Con this year, I will buy you all popcorn.

The Villain

Paul Verhoeven's original had Ronny Cox playing the white collar baddie named Vilos Cohaagen, and the great Michael Ironside was his henchman Richter.

To compete with that kind of legacy you have to bring out the big guns. With that, none other than Bryan Cranston is playing the heavy this time. While his name again is Cohaagen (why lose such an awesome
name) he isn't an industrialist on Mars, but a political figure on Earth. Beckinsale will act as something like his Richter, which means that character will wear more leather pants than in the 1990 version.

The plot mechanics of the two films will ultimately be similar, with freeing the underclasses on one side of Earth standing in for the Martian colony. The sets, action and tight pants all show great potential. Kids won't be able to leave the theater shouting "Get your ass to Mars" in thunderous Teutonic tones, but hopefully this new one has a trick or two up its sleeve to compensate.

Come back every Thursday for more intergalactic musings on Planet Fanboy and follow its fearless leader Jordan Hoffman on Twitter!

Sony

Every year, Hollywood puts out hundreds of trailers and most of them just come and go, barely leaving any imprint on the viewer at all. But while your average trailer can be all too forgettable, once in a while a new trailer arrives that you just can't get out of your head.

And the brand new first full length look at "Total Recall" is one of them. Ironic, isn't it?

Ironic, of course, because of the story, which you may recall yourself from the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic of the same name. But just in case you have managed to forget the details, let us refresh your memory: Colin Farrell plays a guy who decides to have fake memories implanted in his mind in order to spice up his crappy life. But when something goes wrong, he discovers that his memory has already been tampered with — and he's actually an undercover secret agent.

Maybe. Or maybe that's just one of the his new fake memories. It's hard to say, which is why you'll just have to check out this clip courtesy of Apple and CinemaBlend yourself. Because "Total Recall" is one to remember: