Tag Archives: Planet Terror
Penis imagery: Like love, it's all around us.
Really, though, in movies, it's everywhere. And most likely, depending on the director, it's completely intentional. Yes, most of the directors you casually enjoy are actually perverted creep shows. Like Bruce Hornsby once so eloquently put it, that's just the way it is, folks. You had to learn sometime.
Don't believe us? Here are 20 not-so-subtle examples of phallic movie stills that will have you saying to yourself, "Wow, I didn't realize that Jean-Claude Van Damme with a Jheri curl could get any creepier."
'G.I. Joe: Retaliation' (2013)
At this point, it's common knowledge that fighting off herds of the undead or intergalactic rebels requires more than just a few hand-held weapons. In fact, sometimes it requires more than just hands.
Sure, our limbs accomplish a myriad number of essential tasks every day – walking, kicking holding things, pointing, giving people the finger – but the sad truth is that they'll never be able to spray a hail of bullets or eviscerate enemies on their own. For those special battle-ready features, the body requires a few extra enhancements beyond what God gave you. After all, why replace a leg with a dopey wooden peg when a fully-loaded machine gun will do just fine?
In honor of the "Evil Dead" reboot and the franchise's longtime celebration of weaponized extremities, we've compiled a list of nine characters who turned a lost limb or imminent threat into an opportunity to upgrade their bodies into something far more badass than before.
1. Ash's chainsaw hand from 'Evil Dead II'
It's bad enough when you're fighting legions of demons you unwittingly unleashed from a skin-covered book, but what happens when your own hand becomes possessed and fights against you? If you're Ash, you get rid of the problem, literally, by promptly hacking off the bedeviled body part. Immediately following his self-amputation, Ash remedies his bloody stump predicament by snapping a fully-functional chainsaw where his hand once existed and iconically christens the end result "Groovy." Audiences emphatically agreed, and after putting his chainsaw hand to good use against the demon armies in "Army of Darkness" a few years later, Ash's brutal new appendage became the envy of handless demon slayers everywhere. Get More »
With soccer moms now taking pole dancing aerobics at the Y, it’s safe to say that stripping (not to mention its costumed cousin, burlesque) has seduced mainstream America ... for better or worse.
However, for every relatively whimsical look at the profession ("The Full Monty," "Sin City"), there seems to be at least two darker examinations. In the case of "About Cherry," which has commenced with putting on a show in theaters as of today, sometimes working in a strip club can lead to stripping (and doing other stuff) on a porn set ... and a dubious romance with a coke-addicted lawyer (James Franco).
Still, whether their stories are super-serious or all in good fun, movie strippers certainly provide the eye candy along with a sense of intriguing, unattainable mystery. Here are 15 of our favorite on-screen adult entertainers. Get More »
In honor of Rihanna making a splashy debut in the ocean-bound blockbuster "Battleship," we're locked, loaded and counting down some of the sexiest screen sirens to handle monster weapons.
That's right, we're bringing out the big guns, in more ways than one, as these scorching hot ladies show us a thing or two about proper marksmanship.
Hot chicks with guns. Is there anything sexier?
Yes, of course there is. Lingerie models come to mind. Bikinis. Maybe some sort of naughty teacher scenario. But if you're one of those socially maladjusted guys [raises hand] that can only express your suppressed sexuality through the heroine avatars of your favorite violent video game, then you'll want to check out "Colombiana" (in theaters Aug. 26), starring Zoe Saldana.
And if you absolutely require more ammo-fueled feminism, we've made a list of film's 20 hottest pistol-totin' babes, just for you.
Madonna and Whitney to Gwen and Britney... Nearly every pop queen has packed up their diva ways and taken them to the big screen.
The results have been mixed; for every Mariah Carey in "Precious," there's a Mariah Carey in "Glitter," and for every J. Hudson in "Dreamgirls," there's a J. Simpson in "Employee of the Month."
With veteran screen diva Cher teaching acting newcomer Christina Aguilera the tricks of crossing over in "Burlesque," here's a rundown of the most memorable instances of divas gone Hollywood. Get More »
Like his sometimes-partner in crime, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez loves his leading ladies powerful, in control, and hot to the touch. In his latest B-movie homage "Machete," Rodriguez serves up not one but three badass babes (Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsay Lohan).
Since first breaking out onto the scene will his tiny-budget debut, "El Mariachi," in which Consuelo Gomez starred as sexy bar owner Domino, Rodriguez has remained enamored with his flaming femmes. Get More »