Tag Archives: Planet Fanboy
This weekend I'm getting a sixpack of antifreeze and duffel bag filled with raw ground beef and going to see "The Expendables 2."
I'm certain I enjoyed the first one (it's a bit of a haze) and if my crumpling into manly tears at the mere sight of the new one's outdoor ads is any indication, I'll have a blast yet again. One thing we must ask, however. Whither the chicks?
I say with full respect and courtesy to the fairer sex, why have you not been included in this battle royale of badassery? Yes, there are some women in the film - Yu Nan will play an agent named Maggie, Charisma Carpenter is back as Statham's g.f. and someone named Amanda Ooms is on hand to give the film some oomph - but where are the female equivalents of the Expendables? Where are the Expendablettes?
If I were in charge of everything (as I will be, eventually) here's who I'd add to the team for "The Expendables 3." Get More »
Laughing during an alien invasion movie is nothing new. I mean, my sides are still hurting from "Battleship." But laughing intentionally during an alien invasion has its place in the annals of movie history, as well.
Upon reflection, the aliens should bring with them the full spectrum of emotion. (Along with those dry ice cream squares.) Beings from distant stars may be just like us. Some of us are scary and evil, but some of us are funny and fun. (And some of us have horrendous scales that secrete an acid that can chew through steel – but let's leave former Secretary of State Dean Rusk out of this.)
This weekend, three of your favorite comic actors (and one British dude you've been meaning to learn more about) are serving up some interstellar hilarity in "The Watch." The movie is a hoot but, unfortunately, the aliens themselves aren't the source of the LOLz.
Luckily, film history does provide some other examples. Get More »
If Catwoman and Black Widow got in a fight, who would win? Everybody!
Superhero movies appeal to the adolescent in us but they themselves need not be adolescent. While there are few schools of thought more factionalized than feminist theory I'm going to stick my neck out and say that, basically, this has been a good summer for women in Fanboy movies.
Issues of male gaze aside (so much black latex!) we can look to Summer 2012 as a year for egalitarianism in the superhero boys' club. But of the two female badasses lacking in any fantastic powers (other than swinging a roundhouse kick in fashionable boots that sends a man two-and-a-half times heavier via air mail into the wall) who is the greatest? Lucky for you, I've got the time to think these things through. Get More »
Let's not let the immaturity of comment-happy Batman fans mute a simple fact, "The Dark Knight Rises" is a tremendous work of popular entertainment. It will dazzle you, rouse you and, if you find massive men in fur coats breaking the bones of a dudes in rubber suits amusing, it will make you chuckle.
With the arpeggio strings of Hans Zimmer's score still rattling my ears, here are the 5 things in "The Dark Knight Rises" that most made the pointy ends of my cowl tingle.
WARNING - IF YOU ARE EXTRA SENSITIVE TO SPOILERS, READ THIS AFTER YOU SEE THE MOVIE. Get More »
I've got a box of Clif Bars, a toothbrush and some unread issues of the "New 52." I'm ready for the lines, odors and sunstroke of San Diego Comic-Con.
This will be my sixth visit, so in Con years that makes it... I dunno, my hundreth. All I know is that, every year, I swear it will be my last, then I return. It's like that scene in "Black Hawk Down" when Eric Bana, exhausted from the fight, runs back into enemy territory to continue rescue operations. Only, you know, a little more heroic.
There are dozens of movies (and shows and comics and web series) that'll be pitched at SDCC. Here are the ten I'm most excited about. Get More »
Tell me if this happens to you:
You're at an amusement park. You're eating cotton candy (candy floss, if you are living in Victorian England). You and your buddies get on line for the insane, backward, upside-down, stand-up roller coaster you aren't allowed to ride if you wear a pacemaker because just by looking at it you will probably have a heart attack.
You're chatting with your pals, then suddenly you are next in line and it is time to get in the car and OH MY GOD WHY THE HELL AM I ABOUT TO DO THIS?!?!?
When faced with a tone-deaf would-be fanboy film, it's hard not to think about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.
The woman who popularized the "five stages of dying" was also right on the money in describing all that went through my mind during last night's screening of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."
First came denial ("No, this is just a subversive B-movie romp!") then anger ("I'm gonna to go Russia and make a dumbass movie about Peter the Great and see how Timur Bekmanbetov feels!") then bargaining ("Please! Someone go get John Wilkes Booth on my ass and put me out of my misery right now!") then depression ("This is my fault for forwarding all those Funny or Die videos") and finally acceptance ("Okay, I guess the fight with Marton Csokas with the stampeding horses was kinda cool.")
With these five stages flushed through my system, I found myself asking one more: just how much of this is actually ... accurate? Get More »
You can tell a lot about a culture by how they react to an alien invasion. Recent examples abound.
In New York, you can run around screaming, but never stop vlogging ("Cloverfield"). In Los Angeles you can puff out your chest for the cameras and say, "I need you to be my little Marine" ("Battle: Los Angeles") or maybe just act so obnoxious you deserve to get scooped up and de-brained ("Skyline"). In South Africa you'll quarantine the aliens then have an existential dilemma about it ("District 9").
In Europe, however, a hovering spacecraft that would appear to be a living paradox of all we understand about general relativity and propulsion would actually NOT interfere that much with important things like love trysts and cooking dinner. Get More »
Noomi Rapace's Elizabeth Shaw wants answers. There's a good chance that after you see "Prometheus," you will, too.
Astoundingly gorgeous yet fundamentally frustrating, "Prometheus" seems poised to be the most analyzed and debated big budget Hollywood release this year.
Its intentional ambiguity is a nice nod to its ancestor (1979's "Alien" has more than its share of elliptical moments) but this new one seems doubly excited to leave its viewers in the dark, especially considering how today's megaplex fare seems to spoon feed us.
(Editor's Note: If you haven't yet seen "Prometheus," read no further. Spoilers abound!) Get More »
I've seen "Snow White and the Huntsman" and I'm here to tell you that, when you factor in the free air conditioning, it is not the worst way to spend two hours. (This may not apply to readers in Alaska.)
The film is beautiful to look at, ends big and features a hallucinogenic mushroom that makes you think your hands are melting off. (Faaaaaaar out.)
In "Snow White and the Huntsman" you get to spend time with Thor (he's got an axe this time, not a hammer), seven of your favorite British "That Guys" shrunk down to dwarf size (hey, it's a mini Al Swearengen) plus Charlize Theron talking to the wall. Get More »