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Tag Archives: Planet Fanboy
Citizens of Earth,
We've double-checked our slide rules and the calculations are true. Planet Fanboy will be going into deep orbit for the foreseeable future. It has been lovely beaming transmissions to you, but all things in our dark, cold, expanding universe must end. (Except packing peanuts.)
It has been a little over one of your Earth years since we first made contact, so we figured this is a good opportunity to look back at some of our brighter moments. Get More »
There are a handful of hardcore Fanboys out there who simply can't handle that “Star Wars” didn't win the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1977. That it lost out to one of the finest, most clever examples of transcendent visual storytelling, “Annie Hall,” is of no consequence. The '77 Oscar is an injustice equaled only by the destruction of Alderaan.
Here's the thing: it's okay to love both. (And to realize that “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” not being nominated that year is possibly the bigger crime.) What you may not know is that George Lucas and Woody Allen recognized there was a problem and actually tried to get a project off the ground that would bring peace to the two parties. Get More »
Clint Barton and Oliver Queen's arrows have nothing on Cupid, that obnoxious nude baby that pops up in television commercials the same time each year.
If it is your good fortune to get hit with one, you can be assured of a few absolute truths: you'll never get to watch what you want and you'll find yourself cleaning up the mess of a pet you never asked for.
If you are a male dating a female (and on Planet Fanboy, this is just one of a dozen permutations) you're gonna have to whip out the ol' Discover Obsidian Advantage Plus Card and dig deep as the calendar approaches February 14, no matter how much your beloved feigns indifference to crass, material goods. Get More »
Disney CEO Bob Iger took a break from his treasure bath to confirm rumors that, yes, in addition to a third trilogy of "Star Wars" pictures, there will be "standalone" films that will come out in between that are "derived from great 'Star Wars' characters."
When I read that last phrase I immediately thought two things. First, "great, Calculus!" Second, "Whooooooooooooooo?"
Anthony Breznican, an actual journalist, reports that the two projects that are likely to take off first are stories about Boba Fett and Han Solo. They are neither prequels or sequels. . .they are merely quels, and they ought to quell the frustrations of many a nerd who wanted to see, once and for all, just how Lando Calrissian won the Millennium Falcon. (You thought Midi-chlorians were bad? Just wait til you watch the ship that can make the Kessel run in 12 parsecs change ownership on a Queen high!) Get More »
Years before I ever gassed up my rocket and launched to Planet Fanboy, I lived on Planet Undergrad. While there, some no-good kids with neon green hair (it was the 1990s) gave me some poisoned pizza toppings and it made the music all echoey and I walked like I just stepped out of the Mystery Machine.
As the night turned to dawn, someone slipped in a VHS tape (oy) of a movie called “Phantasm” and I swear to you it took a little bit of my sanity with it. It ends with our main character dragged through a portal to a fiery alternate universe with freakish dwarves, diabolical tall men and silver spheres that fly around and drill into peoples' heads. After that, there's this other strange scene played out where my friends are telling me to breathe into a paper bag, playing a a CD of rainwater hitting a metal roof and just repeating “chill, chill, chill.” Get More »
And so it was that the Planet Fanboy completed another revolution around its spherical gaseous furnace called "Sol" (short for Solomon) and, behold, there was another year.
It was a good one, this 2012, but 2013 looks like it might have it beat. Why's that, you ask? Because a new falafel guy just opened up a block from me. You think I'm jesting, but you haven't tasted his garlic tahini habibi sauce. Also: there are some dynamite Fanboy film properties coming down the pike. Here are the ones that, should you even consider not seeing on opening night, you'd best charter the first available shuttle to Planet Poseur. Get More »
It isn't just a time when it is socially acceptable to eat gelatinous discs of cranberry flavoring and call it respecting tradition, Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on what is best in life.
We have it good on Planet Fanboy. I mean, we've got the reduced gravity, the constantly clement temperature and the complete ban on that "Tonight We Are Young" song.
Furthermore, there appears to be no end in sight to our stranglehold on big-budget movies. Here, then, a quick list of things we should be thankful for.
He can fight terrorists atop a train, jump off a cliff into the cockpit of a plane, jump out of a plane with no parachute and wrestle one away from someone else and he still knows what type of wine to order with fish. He's James Bond and, yes, he is irresistible to women, unstoppable when it comes to saving the day and, let's face it, impervious to logic when it comes to his personal risk-taking.
Here's something else you don't know about the guy: he, and his films, trade a little more in geekdom than you might think. Oh, I don't just mean there being an early laser in "Goldfinger" or using a giant brick of an Ericsson phone to (somehow) control a car in "Tomorrow Never Dies." I mean some little glimpses of hardcore nerdery you'd think wouldn't exist from a guy more prone to play baccarat than Warcraft. Get More »
The universe is expanding.
"Star Wars" is the largest and most influential pop culture franchise and I say this as someone who loves "Star Trek" most of all. (I also make sure to have a Pepsi when I'm at Burger King — it's just my nature.) The decision of its Emperor, George Lucas, to segue into the role of a Deist God and allow others to work within the structure he has created is nothing but absolutely fantastic news. Get More »
We celebrate all the major holidays here on Planet Fanboy. Arbor Day, St. Swithun's Day, National Talk Like An Insurance Salesman Day. But there's one day we love above all others. My birthday. But Halloween is pretty cool, too. Below is a quick rundown on how to have a spectacularly nerdy All Hallows' Eve.
First, set the alarm super early. Like, we're talkin', 10:45 am or something. You're gonna' need the extra time because there's a big breakfast about to go down. You've got not one, not two, but THREE boxes of undead cereal to get through. We're speaking, of course, of Count Chocula, Boo Berry and, my favorite, Franken Berry. (Franken Berry is the best mostly because the dude on the box looks like Charles Nelson Reilly.) Get More »