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Separated at birth? Long-lost twins? Vague coincidence? It's all possible when actors look so alike they could be siblings.

Is that Zachary Quinto, the Chief Science Officer of "Star Trek Into Darkness," running from the horror of "Aftershock"? Ah, no, at second glance, that's actually Quinto's doppelganger, Eli Roth, the man who gave us "Cabin Fever" and shot Hitler full o' holes in "Inglourious Basterds."

Anyway, with "Aftershock" and the new "Trek" being released back-to-back, we figured this was the perfect time to match up our favorite Hollywood doubles as they compete for roles, attention and DNA. It's like looking into a mirror!

If you think your eyes are starting to play tricks on you, think of this like that Olsen Twins movie "It Takes Two," but without Steve Guttenberg.

Leighton Meester & Minka Kelly

Luscious "Gossip Girl" star Meester might be "Country Strong," but she more than met her match in Minka Kelly, who shone on "Friday Night Lights" as the lovely Lyla Garrity. The two of them actually got to face off, "Single White Female"-style, in 2011's horror thriller "The Roommate," when they entered freshman orientation together — but only one came out alive. Easy, ladies!

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Logan Marshall-Green & Tom Hardy

After the one-three punch of "Bronson," "Inception" and "Warrior," Tom Hardy was the hunk du jour in Hollywood, but now a nearly identical upstart is nipping at his heels. After treading the boards Off- (and occasionally Off-Off-) Broadway, relative newcomer (and NextFactor highlight) Logan Marshall-Green began wriggling his way to the big time last summer via Ridley Scott's "Prometheus." Of course, Hardy's Bane in "The Dark Knight Rises" could probably throat-punch an alien to death with his eyes closed.

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Carey Mulligan & Michelle Williams

It's all about the gorgeous swan-like necks. Carey and Michelle could not be more different as actors; the former has an old-school, boisterous lightness while the latter, in both real life and on film, is introspective, reserved, even ethereal. We almost did a double-take in 2011 when Mulligan was seen on screen with Williams' "Blue Valentine" sweetheart Ryan Gosling in "Drive."

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Javier Bardem & Jeffrey Dean Morgan

In their signature roles as Anton Chigurh in "No Country For Old Men" and The Comedian in "Watchmen," respectively, Bardem and Morgan pull off striking, bull-in-a-china-shop characters whose moral compasses have long since been flushed down the toilet. Oddly, strewn across their paths of destruction we find very real human fragments to latch onto ... and that's not on the page, it's in the performances. Still, we wouldn't want to run into either of these tough customers in a dark alley.

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Josh Duhamel & Timothy Olyphant

These doppelgangers have yet to cross paths on screen, but when they do, it's sure to be electric. Olyphant first captured our attention as the lead in HBO's foulmouthed fan-favorite "Deadwood," then graduated to playing men of dubious intent in flicks like "Live Free or Die Hard." Duhamel is more the average all-American Joe type, playing a soldier for the "Transformers" trilogy and romantic leads in fluff like "Safe Haven." Does the U.S. Marshal on "Justified" need a half-brother?

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Teresa Palmer & Kristen Stewart

Palmer has nearly nabbed roles in "Justice League," "Mad Max" and the "Spider-Man" movies, but this talented blonde will forever be in the shadow of her movie duplicate, Kristen Stewart. Despite different hair, they share a shocking resemblance. Palmer may be catching up to Stewart, though, as she recently starred as a human who swoons over a member of the undead (a zombie this time, in "Warm Bodies").

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Penélope Cruz & Paz Vega

When you first saw "Spanglish" (if you did at all), you might have been wondering how they decided to pair Penélope Cruz with Adam Sandler, of all people. Well, after careful examination of the credits, turns out it wasn't Cruz at all — *SHOCK* — but another gorgeous Spanish actress, Paz Vega. Only two years apart, these two need to get Pedro Almodóvar to write a movie where they're sisters, pronto. C'mon, Pedro, maybe sisters with a gay transvestite mother, hmm?

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Michael Cera & Jesse Eisenberg

When did nerds stop seeking revenge on their jock oppressors and start warring amongst each other? Okay, so technically these two haven't directly engaged in combat, verbal or Thunderdome-style ... but there are still many who believe that when it comes to Cera & Eisenberg, two men enter, one man leaves. Despite the current Jesse-positive climate thanks to that little "The Social Network" movie and the upcoming "Now You See Me," these are both super-young dudes with plenty of awkwardness left to give.

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Chris Hemsworth & Chris Pine

Playing father and son in 2009's "Star Trek" may have tipped these two Chrises off that they kinda sorta look alike. Hemsworth made his film debut playing James T. Kirk's ill-fated papa George for a scant few minutes, but it gave him the oomph he needed to impress the Marvel brass to pin him as The God of Freakin' Thunder, "Thor." Pine had to delicately dance around the iconic Shatner characterizations to make the Starship Enterprise his own, but he did, and has been unstoppable ever since.

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Zachary Quinto & Eli Roth

Pine's pointy-eared shipmate Spock was almost always a lock for Quinto, whom fans immediately pegged as a dead-on lookalike for Leonard Nimoy after he made his name on "Heroes." But Zachary also resembles our favorite bloodthirsty writer-director Eli Roth. When he's not hanging out in cabins or hostels, Roth occasionally moonlights on-screen for pals like Quentin Tarantino, for whom he relished machine-gunning Hitler in "Inglourious Basterds."

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Zooey Deschanel & Katy Perry

Now that Katy Perry is acting (she played super-hot Smurfette in "The Smurfs") and divorced from a famous husband, there may literally be nothing that separates her from her big-eyed mirror-image, Zooey Deschanel. Though Perry may be the bigger musical superstar for now, the swoon-worthy "New Girl" has been known to belt it out when she performs as one-half of She & Him, so watch out, Katy.

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Alan Cumming & Paul Reubens

And speaking of Smurfs, we finally found two fellas who have come to terms with their lookalike status by agreeing to be in the same movie. In "The Smurfs" Reubens played the gag-gifting Jokey Smurf, while Cumming portrayed the newest character, Gutsy Smurf. Although these were voice-only roles, it was only a matter of time before these two get together for realsies (like they did at the "Pee-Wee" premiere on Broadway). Maybe if the show reopens, Cumming could appear as the depressive younger brother, WeePee Herman, who cries a lot?

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Originally published February 2, 2011.

Columbia Pictures

Sometimes, two ladies make out with each other in major motion pictures. Other times, they not only make out with each other — they simulate sexual intercourse with each other. AND because the Internet exists, each of those instances is easily accessible to everybody with a computer, context-free. I know, right? And some people claim to be "pessimists?" (laughs to himself.)

A ranking of such scenes is an inexact science, but we've created a surefire formula at NextMovie: Which do we like the most?

Gentlemen (and ladies), start your history deletions!

15. Kate Beckinsale and Frances McDormand, 'Laurel Canyon' (2002)

Dr. Christian Bale is engaged to Kate Beckinsale. There's a colleague of Bale's who wishes to have carnal relations with him. What's worse (better?), that colleague is Natasha McElhone. Beckinsale is jealous of this, so she does what any vengeful person would do in that situation: kiss her fiance's mom (Frances McDormand) in a pool with a 90-pound British punk rocker watching. We've all been there.

14. Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz, 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' (2008)

Reportedly, director Woody Allen told his actors (Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and, later, Javier Bardem) in this scene, "Okay, so you're all just gonna kiss a little, okay? Is that, is that gonna make you uncomfortable? Would it make you all feel a little bit more settled if I took my shirt off and we made it a foursome like in golf? Just pretend I'm not here and roll with it. Improvise, have some fun. You're all unbelievably good-looking anyway I mean God it's like I just walked in on Helen of Troy's Thanksgiving dinner. Am I aroused? She's asking me if I'm aroused — of course I'm aroused!"

13. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair, 'Cruel Intentions' (1999)

The 2000 MTV Movie Award winner for "Best Kiss" deservedly went to Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair's passionate saliva-fest from "Cruel Intentions," featured below. The only thing that it's missing is Adam Duritz's mood-destroying voice cracks, which director Roger Kumble thankfully ameliorated later in the film.

12.  Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, 'Jennifer's Body' (2009)

Someone tuned the below video to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl," and I'm going to guess that it was intentional considering the below video features two people who are each kissing a girl. Spoiler: It's Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, and they're kissing each other, because life is short. And also because everything else in "Jennifer's Body" isn't watchable.

11. Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd, 'Frida' (2002)

The title of the below video is "Romantic Scene From Hottest Movie," so you know it must be good, and it is. Salma Hayek bravely portrays a woman (Frida) with Salma Hayek's exact physical features except that she has a unibrow, and future United States senator Ashley Judd (D-KY) somehow sees past all that and still manages to work up the nerve to kiss her. The true meaning of being a thesbian. (See what I did there? You knew clicking on this article was the right decision!)

10. Heather Graham and Bridget Moynahan, 'Gray Matters' (2006)

"Bridget Moynahan is drunk. Heather Graham is not. Heather Graham does not care, for Bridget Moynahan is hot." — Excerpt from Walt Whitman's "As I Ponder'd in Silence," 1855.

9. Kerry Washington and Dania Ramirez, 'She Hate Me' (2004)

Kerry Washington and Dania Ramirez march straight to Poundtown. Not pictured: Washington's boyfriend Anthony Mackie walks in on the proceedings and is for some reason upset with what's unfolding in front of him instead of calling all of his friends and bragging about his life (perhaps it was left on the cutting room floor?). Special thanks to the uploader of the below video, who apparently used his circa 1999 Nokia cell phone to film and upload the scene just after he beat his own personal high score in "Snake II."

8. Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve, 'The Hunger' (1983)

We've reached the full-fledged NSFW part of the countdown! Wash your hands and give yourself a pat on the back. (Although if you've been following along at work up until this point, you're probably fired and definitely on notice.) Sarandon and Deneuve get down to opera music in a bathtub. Sounds like the name of a terrible Williamsburg band's debut album, but it's actually what happens in the below video (which again is NSFW unless you work here).

Watch the NSFW clip.

7. Emily Blunt and Natalie Press, 'My Summer of Love' (2004)

The second NSFW clip on our countdown features Emily Blunt in one of her earlier acting roles, having fallen in love with Natalie Press during a fateful summer and deciding to go and take off her shirt about it or something. The clip also begins with Emily Blunt smoking a blunt, so don't say that the uploader is without a sense of humor even though she scores self-edited YouTube videos with The Cure.

Watch the NSFW clip.

6. Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly, 'Bound' (1996)

When I told a friend I was about to write this article, he asked if I was going to call it "Gina Gershon's Acting Reel," so I suppose Gina has a reputation for this type of scene? Or maybe that friend just recently watched Gina seduce Nomi Malone? Either way, the below video (which is, you guessed it, NSFW) features Gina putting her hand all over Jennifer Tilly's no-no parts and Tilly giving her seal of approval by wildly moaning in her vintage "either Jennifer Tilly or a Star Wars character" voice.

Watch the NSFW clip.

5. Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell, 'Gia' (1998)

Here is Angelina Jolie as '70s fashion model Gia Carangi, who was I guess known for hurling her naked body into indoor chain link fences. Elizabeth Mitchell plays her love interest, and after some initial reservations, she decides she's super into indoor chain link fences as well. This all makes for one delightfully weird NSFW clip in which their threesome (Jolie, Mitchell, indoor chain link fence) is scored with porn music.

Watch the NSFW clip.

4. Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore, 'Chloe' (2009)

Amanda Seyfried makes her second appearance on this list with "Chloe," in which she shows Julianne Moore a thing or two about starring in clips that are only made available on DailyMotion. Moore had hired Seyfried to seduce her husband (Liam Neeson, fulfilling his "appear in every movie ever made" quota) to see if he would cheat on her, and it turns out Moore wants in on some of the action as well. And while it may be NSFW, it's also a great conversation starter with your boss. ("Have you seen 'Chloe'? My God! I know, I usually read NextMovie for the articles, too, but yikes!")

Watch the NSFW clip.

3. Denise Richards and Neve Campbell, 'Wild Things' (1998)

While there is another famous scene from this movie involving Matt Dillon and a bottle of champagne, we're going to stick with the NSFW video below, in which Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make out with each other topless in a pool while creepy Kevin Bacon (hooking Richards and Campbell up in the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game) secretly films the happenings on his camcorder like it's Christmas morning. "Oh, it was," said creepy Kevin Bacon, probably.

Watch the NSFW clip.

2. Naomi Watts and Laura Harring, 'Mulholland Dr.' (2001)

David Lynch's cult classic neo noir features mystery, intrigue and a scene where Naomi Watts and Laura Harring get their **** on. Something for everyone! Mr. Lynch, what do you have to say for yourself?

This weekend I'm going to try to find out if I'm connected to the moon.

— David Lynch (@DAVID_LYNCH) June 18, 2010

Good luck, David! Here's his famous scene, which is actually totally safe for work.

(It's actually not safe for work. But you knew that, right? Almost got you! Can't put anything past you.)

Watch the NSFW clip.

1. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, 'Black Swan' (2010)

When "Black Swan" isn't about Natalie Portman's mother cutting Portman's fingernails in the most nauseatingly disgusting manner humanly possible, it's about the bizarre relationship between her character and that of Mila Kunis, who eventually spend a night out on the town culminating in a tryst back at Portman's, featured below. Portman would go on to win the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role for the film, which just goes to show any young aspiring actress that all you need to do to be successful is to convince Mila Kunis to have sex with you on camera.

Watch the NSFW clip.

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All of the week's hot casting news in one fell swoop ...

Ewan McGregor is looking to play the bad guy again, following his sleazy turn earlier this year in "Haywire." Deadline reports that the "Trainspotting" star is set to star in "Son of a Gun," an Australia crime thriller that chronicles the complex relationship between a notorious criminal (McGregor) and his young protege. That's not all for McGregor — he'll also be joining Kate Hudson for the showbiz comedy, "Born to Be King," according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Penelope Cruz is going to teach us about clothes ... and murder! The "Bandidas" beauty is in talks to star in "Gucci," a drama about the Italian family behind the legendary clothing brand in which she would play Patrizia Reggiani, who was jailed for 29 years for allegedly ordering the 1995 murder of her ex-husband and heir to the family empire, Maurizio Gucci.

Anton Yelchin got the Girl Next Door in "Fright Night" ... and now he's going for the Mysterious Older Woman. Diane Kruger joins Yelchin for "5 To 7," a romantic drama about an aspiring novelist who's having an affair with the beautiful wife of a French diplomat. Deadline reports that "Mad Men" mad man Victor Levin will be directing from his own script.

The events of 9/11 are getting the "Twelve Angry Men" treatment, as Woody Harrelson, Martin Sheen, Ed Asner, John Heard, Esai Morales, Daniel Sunjata and even Judd Nelson (welcome back!) are set to star in "September Morn." According to Deadline, the film follows a group who revisits and questions the investigation into the September 11th attacks.

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Say what you will about "Crash" director Paul Haggis - the man can certainly put together a killer cast. Adrien Brody and Maria Bello are the latest thespians to join Haggis' latest, "Third Person," which also features Liam Neeson, James Franco, Kim Basinger, Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde and many more in a story that chronicles three intersecting relationships in three separate cities: New York, Paris and Rome.

Ryan Reynolds married Blake Lively ... and now he'll fight the "Battle For Bonneville." Deadline reports that perhaps the luckiest man on the planet (he was also married to Scarlett Johansson for a while, too, ya know) will team up with his ex-wife's "Iron Man 2" director Jon Favreau for the story of Art and Walt Arfons, half-brothers who were rivals on the race track until they teamed up to set the world land speed record three times.

Well, this news should come as no surprise to anyone on planet Earth. The Playlist reports that longtime Wes Anderson collaborator Jason Schwartzman has booked a role in Anderson's latest, "The Grand Budapest Hotel."

Time to start doing makeup tests for that epic birthmark, Comrade Christoph! Deadline reports that "Django Unchained" star Christoph Waltz will be playing Mikhail Gorbachev opposite Michael Douglas' Ronald Reagan in "Reykjavik," director Mike Newell's dramatization of the 1986 meeting between the two world leaders.

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Jim Carrey is planning to pull off one of the biggest heists in American history. The Wrap reports that the comedian is teaming up with "Napoleon Dynamite" director Jared Hess for "Loomis Fargo," the true crime story of four Southerners who stole $17 million from an armed Loomis Fargo truck in 1997.

Mackenzie Foy is already planning for her post-"Twilight" career. The young actress, who will be seen as Renesmee Cullen in "Breaking Dawn - Part 2," has joined the cast of "Wish You Well," the story of a girl who moves from New York to a Virginia farm to live in with her great-grandmother in the 1940s.

Do you think Mike Epps has what it takes to truly go Stir Crazy? The Hollywood Reporter brings word that the comedian has been cast as Richard Pryor himself in "Nina," the Nina Simone biopic starring Zoe Saldana as the legendary singer. Pryor opened for Simone in the early 1960s.

Aaron Paul got "Smashed' with Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Now he's channeling Maverick and Goose and feeling the "Need For Speed." Inside Movies reports that Paul is getting behind the wheel of the racing thriller inspired by the popular video game series of the same name.

It kind of sounds like Richard Bachman's "The Long Walk" but without the whole getting killed if you stop walking thing. Adam Brody, Wyatt Cenac, Josh Lawson, Danny Jacobs and Lauren Miller are in training for "Growing Up (and Other Lies)," the story of a young man who must fulfill his promise to his three best friends to walk the entire length of Manhattan in one day before he moves back to the Midwest to take over the family business.

Medusa Films

Over the past several years, Penelope Cruz has managed to pull off the rare feat of creating a solid Hollywood career while also maintaining her career back in her home country of Spain. It's a juggling act that few international stars manage to pull off successfully.

And just how successfully she's pulling it off has never been more evident than it is in the new trailer for "Twice Born."

Directed by Italian auteur Sergio Castellitto, who previously worked with Cruz on the romance "Don't Move," "Twice Born" tells the story of a single mother (that's Cruz) who returns to Sarajvo with her estranged son (Emile Hirsch!) 16 years after the boy's father was killed during the Bosnian war.

In other words, it's just the kind of emotionally powerful film and performance that gave Cruz the career flexibility she enjoys. So will the Oscar winner add another statue to her mantlepiece? Check out the new trailer, courtesy of Yahoo! Movies, and see why excellence is spelled "Cruz" in any language.

Woody Allen doesn't just have a knack for writing screenplays and directing movies. He knows how to pick gorgeous leading ladies better than, well, anyone.

From Penelope Cruz and Ellen Page in his latest, "To Rome With Love," to his trio of trips down Scarlett Johansson lane, the bespectacled one has spent the better part of the last decade with the biggest female up-and-comers and the hottest young starlets.

He's spent quality time with "Slumdog Millionaire"'s Frieda Pinto, "The Town"'s Rebecca Hall and the gorgeous Rachel McAdams. Plus, he'll soon be spending quality time with Cate Blanchett in his untitled flick slated for next year.

Not enough evidence? Take a good look through our Woody-Worthy Women gallery and see for yourself.

View Gallery »

Yes, of course there is. Lingerie models come to mind. Bikinis. Maybe some sort of naughty teacher scenario. But if you're one of those socially maladjusted guys [raises hand] that can only express your suppressed sexuality through the heroine avatars of your favorite violent video game, then you'll want to check out "Colombiana" (in theaters Aug. 26), starring Zoe Saldana.

And if you absolutely require more ammo-fueled feminism, we've made a list of film's 20 hottest pistol-totin' babes, just for you.

Disney

Avast ye bilge rats! If ye've come seeking the best "Pirates of the Caribbean" booty, you've come to the right ship. We scallywags here at NextMovie have compiled the most glittery, the most amazing, the most fantastic bits of loot that the Internet has to offer.

Some of it be official, some of it be made by dedicated buccaneers, and some just be inspired by Captain Jack, but all of it will make ye weigh anchor, hoist the mizzen, draw a cutlass, and do some pillaging to buy it all.

Now, read on me hearties, yo ho!

1. Jack Sparrow's Style Accessories

Sparrow Acessories

Be ye needing to dress like good old Captain Jack Sparrow? Then look no further than this port, which be offering authentic scarves, bead strands, hair sticks (it actually be a sail needle!), dreadlock wraps, beard braids, and all manner of danglies for your belt. Don't tell Sparrow they've got copies of his mum's shrunken head.

• How Much, Matey?: Items range from $1.59 (a bone ring for yer finger) to $69.99 (Copies of Mum)
• Where To Pilfer:  Sparrow Style Accessories

2. Liar's Dice

Amazon

Liar's Dice is a good game to be playin' with yer fellow bilge-rats (sharpening the skills also be helpin' with unlocking those achievements on "Red Dead Redemption"), and this set looks crusty and ancient just like it came from the deck of Flying Dutchman itself. Playing for souls not recommended.

• How Much, Matey? $39.90
• Where To Pilfer: Amazon.com

   

3. Pirate Fashion For the Real World

Pirate Mod

Sometimes, ye want to dress like a pirate, but yer work or school be frowning upon it. We recommend you visit the crew at Pirate Mod, where they be selling a fine array of t-shirts, hoodies, bags, bandanas, and buttons. They've even got swag for the wee ones or yer dog, and some home decor (maps, and copies of The Code) to decorate your cabin with.

• How Much, Matey?: Items range from $1.00 fer buttons to $48.00 fer a messenger bag.
• Place To Pilfer: Pirate Mod

4. Jack Sparrow Action Figures

Amazon

That Sparrow is a handsome seadog, and all the wenches want a piece of him. Well, we can't be telling you how to win Jack's favors, but we can tell ye where to get tiny replicas of him. If ye've got a lot of doubloons to spare, Sideshow Collectibles' Jack Sparrow is a beauty that be boastin'  interchangeable heads and hands, and movin' eyes. For those who lack doubloons, but have a hefty pile of pieces o' eight, there be Medicom's Jack Sparrow, who only has one head, but he wears real clothes. And for the sailors who don't want to be spendin' a lot of coin, NECA's figure be just as fine, and can even speak to ye.

• How Much, Matey?: Sideshow Collectibles, $239.99. Medicom's, $135.99. NECA, $44.99
• Where To Pilfer:  Sideshow Collectibles, Amazon.com, and Amazon.com, again.

5. Pirate Hats

Captain Jack's

Yer not a proper pirate until you have a jaunty tricorn set on yer greasy head. If yer lookin' for the best, then visit Captain Jack's (no relation to Sparrow, we're thinkin') where you can buy a variety of pirate hats, including those worn by Sparrow, Captain Barbossa, Miss Elizabeth Swann, and Davy Jones himself. For a bit o' extra coin, they've even shot and dirtied them for ya, so the crew won't be making fun of ye for looking like a swab.

• How Much, Matey?: $80.00 for a plain, untreated hat. $150 fer Captain Jack's leather version.  If yer wealthy in souls, the  barnacle-encrusted Davy Jones hat costs $800.
• Where To Pilfer: Captain Jack's Pirate Hats

6. Fountain of Youth Yahtzee

Amazon

What they don't be tellin' ye in pirate movies is how boring it can be, sailing round the world for Tortuga, Isle de Muerta, the End of the World, Davy Jones' chest, the Fountain of Youth, and so on. Oh, certain there be adventure, but it takes awhile to get there when yer dependent on the wind and waves. So, we be playin' a lot of games, and one of them is Yahtzee. (If ye snicker, we'll keelhaul ya!) And this be a handsome set worth boarding a ship for, make no mistake.

• How Much, Matey? $25.00
• Where to Pilfer: Amazon.com

7. Jack Sparrow's Compass

Tyrannical Pirate

Ye've heard tell of Jack's mystical compass, the one that shows ye what you most want in this world. It be an item highly sought after by all manner of sea dog and landlubber, and we just happen to know where ye might find one. All right, it be only a copy, but get Jack drunk enough and ye can swap it out for the real thing.

• How Much, Matey?: $4.99
• Where To Pilfer: Tyrannical Pirate Treasures

   

8. Pirate Flags

826 Valencia

Every pirate needs to hoist his colors, and here ye can find a flag or two to fly from yer mast. The Jolly Roger be a good and safe pick, but ye can always buy Blackbeard's (also be known as Edward Teach) or some other existing pirate's banner. We take no responsibility for the consequences if they be catching you, though. (And if ye buy flags from here, the treasure goes to Dave Eggers' 826 Valencia, a worthy cause even we grammatically impaired rum-drinkers raise a bottle to!)

• How Much, Matey?: They range from $11.00 to $22.00
• Where To Pilfer: 826 Valencia's Pirate Shop

9. LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean

LEGO

Pirates like rum, booty, lads and lasses of ill-repute, the sea, rum, and LEGOs. Yes, LEGOs! It be a bit hard to assemble them when the ocean waves be heavin' to and fro, so we favor the LEGO video game for the PS3, XBOX, or Wii. But when we're on land, we like to get our dirty paws on the playsets themselves, and LEGO's "On Stranger Tides" collection is as good as gold. We're partial to the London, Waterfall, and Queen Anne sets.

• How Much, Matey?: "LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" Video Game $49.99.   LEGO Playsets run from $119.00 to $11.99
• Where To Pilfer:  LEGO.com

10. Jack Sparrow's Clothes

Ebay

Shiver me timbers, ye want to be dressin' like the good Captain now? Well, we have it on good authority (one of the multiple Jacks, they be infectin' the entire ocean!) that this be a good tailor to get yerself authentic copies of his fine coat, pantaloons, and billowy, bilgy shirts. When combined with the Sparrow accessories above, ye'll look exactly like that most dreamy of freebooters.

• How Much, Matey?: From $19.99 to $199.90 fer the whole kit
• Where To Pilfer: Costume Base 

11. Angelica's Barbie Doll

Amazon

And why should the men be having all the fun on the seven seas? There be girl pirates too, like the lovely Angelica we'll be meetin' "On Stranger Tides." Though nothin' be comparin' to the real thing, here be a fine miniature made by Mattel. Don't be askin' her to show ye her larboard side, though, or she'll run ye through and then maroon ye.

• How Much, Matey?: $48.99
• Where To Pilfer:  Amazon.com 

12. Doubloons and Jewels

Pirate's Cove

Gold calls to pirates, and here ye can lay in a good supply of authentic Spanish doubloons and piles o' jewels to barter with the next time you're in Tortuga. They also be sellin' the Aztec Medallion sported by the lovely Elizabeth Swann, though if ye be wearin' it, don't blame us if undead pirates show up at yer door.

• How Much, Matey?: $0.50 cents per small coin and jewel, $1.00 for the big doubloons.
• Where To Pilfer: Pirate's Cove 

13. The Dog With the Keys

Amazon

If ye be so unlucky to find yerself locked in a jail cell in Port Royal, this little fellow will be sure to be tauntin' you outside the cell. Best take him into yer life and befriend him now, so he'll be handin' over those keys later. And blow me down and pick me up, he sure be a cute lookin' mutt!

• How Much, Matey?: $3.99
• Where To Pilfer: Amazon.com

Bonus Black Spots

There be many pirate treasures scattered in the Caribbean, but some of them be unavailable now. Here be some we can point out to ye, and the most hardy of raiders can pillage Ebay until they be landin' the booty.

1. Tonner's Pirates of the Caribbean Dolls

Tonner made lovely dolls out of all yer favorite Pirates of the Caribbean characters. There be Elizabeth Swann in her pirate and her wedding togs, Will Turner, Captain Norrington, Tia Dalma, and of course, Jack himself. They be sold out now, but are still around if ye keep a weather eye out.

• How Much, Matey?: Ye'll not be finding one for less than $200.00
• Where to Pilfer: Tonner be the official place (and maybe they'll be offered again?), but Ebay or Google is the place to sail now. 

2. WizKid's Pirates of the Cursed Seas

This be one of our favorite games and collectibles, but alas, WizKids was sent to Davy Jones' Locker and all the good pirate swag discontinued. Ye can still find the occasional individual pack on Amazon and gaming stores (and each pack be a game!), and searchin' Ebay will find ye big tins of wee ships and cards to build up yer fleet.

• How Much, Matey? Individual packs run $5.90 on Amazon and vary on Ebay depending on what pack ye want. Solo ships and cards can run from $1.00 up, depending on how rare it be.
• Where To Pilfer: Amazon.com offers "Pirate of the Caribbean" packs.  Ebay if ye be looking for South China Seas, Fire and Steel, Frozen North, or any of the other fleets and tins.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Jack Sparrow book series

We pirates love a good yarn, especially if it be about pirates as legendary as Captain Jack. Our Jack wasn't always a captain though, and these be the tales of how he began swashbuckling as a lad. But like all good stories these came to an end, though we be hopin' "On Stranger Tides" adds a few new chapters to his younger years.

• How Much, Matey?: Since they be out of print, ye'll have to buy them used. Looks like you can get copies beginning at $0.01, and ending at $20.00.  Hornswaggle them for a good price!
• Where to Pilfer: Amazon Marketplace

Disney

All hands on deck! No one owns summer like Jerry Bruckheimer, and now the super-mega-producer has set sail bringing a big franchise fourquel to port with "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides."

Yes, Johnny Depp is back to swash some more buckles and yo some more ho as Captain Jack Sparrow, who once again will show his surprising drunken dexterity in a new high seas adventure searching for the Fountain of Youth.

Orlando Bloom, Keira Kightley, and director Gore Verbinski have all walked the plank for this go-round, but there are worthy new shipmates in Angelica (Penélope Cruz) and dreaded Blackbeard (Ian McShane), as well as a hearty director in Oscar-winner Rob Marshall.

Climb aboard for four high-flying clips from Disney's 3-D blockbuster, mateys!

1. Blackbeard. Someone woke the infamous historical pirate, and he's a bit testy.

2. King's Men. Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) is going legit this time as a privateer for King George II.

3. Palace Escape. How can someone as consistently sloshed as Captain Jack do all that balcony bouncing without getting nauseous?

4. Wet Again. With the help of a voodoo doll, Captain Jack takes a leap of faith.

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He may have played it (somewhat) cool in "The Social Network," but Jesse Eisenberg will return to his nervous nerd roots by teaming up with fellow neurotic nebbish Woody Allen for a new comedy.

Besides that stroke of genius casting, "Juno" star Ellen Page — no stranger to portraying characters with quirks — has also joined the flick, along with Penelope Cruz and Alec Baldwin, reports Variety.

The still-untitled film — Allen's 42nd feature — is slated to begin shooting in Rome this summer, but the actor/director says not to expect any amore between himself and Cruz or Page.

"I can't be the love interest any more. I can't play opposite Scarlett Johansson, it's not appropriate," Allen told Guardian in March, referring to the leading lady of his films "Match Point," "Scoop," and "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (the latter film earned Cruz a best supporting actress Oscar).

"So what can I do? I'd love to have a wonderful tour de force part with Diane Keaton but the problem is… doing what? Nobody wants to see two septuagenarians get it on."

Unless, of course, one of them is Betty White. Mr. Allen, get on the phone pronto!

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In 2008 Penélope Cruz played the feisty, volatile María in writer/director Woody Allen's comedy smash "Vicky Cristina Barcelona." The role required her to be a gun-toting, suicidal woman locked in a polyamorous tryst with Javier Bardem and Scarlett Johansson, and she garnered an Oscar for her trouble.

Now EW is reporting that the actress, who clearly owes Woody a solid for hooking her up with the golden man in her life (and we don't mean Bardem), is re-teaming with the comedy legend for another dance around the neurotic maypole.

“I know [what I'm doing next], but the thing is that I have to ask the director what I can say and what I cannot say,” said Cruz. “Because he’s very secretive. It’s…it’s a movie with Woody Allen. But I really cannot say anything about the story or the characters.”

The still-untitled film from the Woodman will lens in Rome, and although the famously tight-lipped filmmaker has yet to reveal a single detail, we'd like to imagine it's a period comedy about a timid ancient Roman dictator with an anxiety disorder who begins an affair with an uptight slave woman (Cruz) who constantly arouses his jealousy, much to the dismay of his overbearing mother. There would be many anachronistic references to Bergman, Van Gogh, anti-Semitism, Groucho Marx, and Manhattan's Upper West Side, along with many ragtime jazz standards.

This (hypothetical) new film would be titled "Julius Bloomberg Caesar, BC."

Disney

Yarrrrr! Avast, me hearties, because there be mermaids in these here internets!

Cinch up your eyepatch and strap on your hook. The brand new full length trailer for "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" has just arrived over the starboard bow and it's got pretty much everything a scurvy swashbuckler could want: Johnny Depp in full-on Captain Jack Sparrow mode, witty banter with the incredibly sexy Penelope Cruz, Oscar nominee Geoffrey Rush searching for the Fountain of Youth as pirate lord Barbossa -- and, oh yeah, both mermaids and a surprise appearance by Keith Richards himself.

It's enough to make even the saltiest seadog weigh anchor.

This isn't the first trailer for "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," of course; the film, which opens on May 20, has been teasing fans for months with clips of swordplay and adventure on the high seas. But this time around we finally get a good glimpse at  the storyline -- and it involves the dread pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and the usual band of stuffy British creeps vying to find the Fountain of Youth. Just one problem for everyone involved, though -- they need a mermaid to get there.

And those ladies are very, very hungry by the looks of things.

But don't just take our word for it, lubber; here's the whole clip, courtesy of Yahoo! Movies. So batten down the hatches and get ready for a dose of adventure on the high seas:

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Yes, it's 2011 already. It's been 2011 for a week already! Now that we've shaken off the sleepiness of the New Year -- and looked at the 50 biggest movies of the year and also 25 likely breakout performers -- we can gaze into the stars (the Hollywood kind) and tell you which big actors will be making an even bigger splash in '11.

We have a list of 20 we think will shine brightest going into 2011, judging on both the quantity and quality of their upcoming projects. Let's look into the future, and see what it holds for them ...

Natalie Portman

Universal

Starring In: "No Strings Attached" (Jan. 21), "The Other Woman" (Feb. 4), "Your Highness" (April 8), "Thor" (May 6)

Her Big Year: Portman kicks off the year receiving endless praise for her bold performance in "Black Swan" and seems a lock for a second Oscar nomination. Odds are she'll walk away with Best Actress, but even if she loses, she won't be forgotten with no less than five movies hitting theaters this year, and one at Sundance later this month ("Hesher"). Awards and movies won't be her only headlines, as Portman recently announced her engagement to Benjamin Millepied and that they're expecting their first baby. Movies, marriage and motherhood? 2011 is definitely Portman's superstar year.

Justin Timberlake

Sony

Starring In: "Bad Teacher" (June 17), "Friends with Benefits" (July 22), "Now" (Sept. 30)
His Big Year: Timberlake is on the cusp of reinvention as he goes into 2011.  He's no stranger to acting, but "The Social Network" finally earned him the critical respect he wanted and needed. Sure, we're still waiting for an album announcement, but moviemaking is clearly his new focus and passion. We wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly announced plans to direct.

Johnny Depp

Disney

Starring In: "Rango" (March 4), "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" (May 20), "The Rum Diary"
His Big Year: Depp is already a superstar beyond all human proportions, and 2011 promises to be another year where he dominates the box office, the blogs and the shelves at Hot Topic. As always, his upcoming slate is an eclectic one, and he might even nab award attention with his revisit to Hunter S. Thompson in "The Rum Diary." But his biggest headlines will probably occur as he dons fangs to shoot "Dark Shadows" for his longtime friend and collaborator, Tim Burton. Considering Depp and vampires are the hottest things going, the world may actually implode when he's first photographed in costume. At the very least, girls might start saying "Edward who?"

Olivia Wilde

Paramount

Starring In: "Cowboys and Aliens" (July 29), "The Change-Up" (Aug.t 5), "Now" (Sept. 30)

Her Big Year: As dust settles on Dec. 2010, one thing's obvious:  "Tron: Legacy" didn't download a lot of love. Wilde had a lot of buzz going into "Tron: Legacy" and was generally regarded as one of its highlights. She converted the attention into enviable roles, the biggest and brightest of which is "Cowboys and Aliens." As the lone cowgirl to a cast of cowboys, all eyes will be on her again.

Robert Pattinson

Fox

Starring In: "Water for Elephants" (April 22), "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" (Nov. 18), "Bel Ami"

His Big Year: A little of the heat seems to be off Pattinson these days. It's not that he's any less popular, but he and "Twilight" have become such household names that the shrieks, stalking and height of his hair don't make headlines anymore. "Remember Me" is practically ancient history. In 2011, he has his big chance to break free of Edward thanks to an enviable role in the highly anticipated adaptation of Sara Gruen's "Water for Elephants."

Cameron Diaz

Sony

Starring In: "The Green Hornet" (Jan. 14), "Bad Teacher" (June 17)

Her Big Year: Last year, we only got to see Diaz in one movie, since the other, "Shrek Ever After" just featured her voice. This year, she's headlining two, both of which rely on her sparkly comedic timing. If you doubt she really has a sense of humor, just look at her costar in "Bad Teacher" – it's none other than her ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake.

Chris Evans

Columbia

Starring In: "What's Your Number?" (April 29), "Captain America: The First Avenger"  (July 22)

His Big Year: Of all the actors listed here, Evans has the biggest and scariest year ahead of him. He spent 2010 filming and doing Gucci ads, and now faces opening the biggest and most anticipated superhero flick yet: "Captain America: The First Avenger." To add to the pressure, it opens in the middle of San Diego Comic Con. If Evans is the Captain America we dream of, he will become an instant superstar and pop culture icon. We're patriotic, so we believe in him.

Penelope Cruz

Disney

Starring In: "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" (May 20)
Her Big Year: Cruz spent her 2010 with filming Johnny Depp, "Sex and the City 2" and superhunk Javier Bardem, the lucky girl. Cruz is largely known for drama, so seeing her swashbuckle and aim for adventure and laughs with Jack Sparrow should be fun. After that, she'll be facing her most challenging role yet -- that of real-life mommy.

Christoph Waltz

Columbia

Starring In: "The Green Hornet" (Jan. 14), "Water for Elephants," (April 22), "The Three Musketeers" (Oct. 14)

His Big Year: The world first met Waltz as a sadistic and strange Nazi in "Inglourious Basterds," a role which nabbed him an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.  He spent all of 2010 filming a variety of roles. Sure, they're all villains, but we know he'll be perfectly sinister each time. Still, wouldn't it be awesome if he signed on for a Disney movie someday, where he plays a hero who saves kittens and puppies?

Russell Brand

Warner Bros.

Starring In: "Hop" (April 1), "Arthur" (April 8 )

His Big Year: Freshly wed to Katy Perry, Brand doesn't have a lot of screen time this year. But his remake of "Arthur" is pretty controversial, as the original (with Dudley Moore) is beloved by many and Brand's comedy divides many. But he has Helen Mirren to help him out, and the crazily-coiffed funny man shows no signs of stopping his take over of America.

Amanda Seyfried

Warner Bros.

Starring In: "Red Riding Hood" (March 11), "Now" (Sept. 30)

Her Big Year: Seyfried has enjoyed a quiet and steady climb over the past two years, thanks in part to HBO's "Big Love" (which wraps up this year) but she doesn't have a big 2011 slate. Follwing last year's movies about "Letters," she continues to woo the ladies with "Red Riding Hood," a supernatural romantic play on the old fairytale, as directed by "Twilight" helmer Catherine Hardwicke.

Daniel Craig

Paramount

Starring In: "Cowboys and Aliens" (July 29), "Dream House"( Sept. 30), "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (Dec. 21), "The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn" (Dec. 28)

His Big Year: Craig is James Bond and the finest thing to happen to blue-swim trunks since ... well, ever.  But he hasn't had much luck being anything but Bond. That's set to change this year. His best chance of box-office breakout might be "Cowboys and Aliens," particularly since Westerns have a good track record for making male megastars (John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and Kevin Costner come to mind). This is Craig's year to be even bigger than Bond.

Emma Stone

Disney

Starring In: "Friends With Benefits" (July 22), "Crazy Stupid Love" (July 29), "The Help" (Aug. 12).

Her Big Year: Freshly blonde for the "Spider-Man" reboot and currently loved by male and female moviegoers alike after "Easy A" and "Zombieland," Stone has nowhere to go but up. She has two big comedies coming out this year (one of which reteams her with "Easy A" director Will Gluck), and will be trying her hand at drama just to prove she's got more than one speed. The only risk she runs is burning out audiences on her charm (not likely).

Justin Bieber

Paramount

Starring In: "Justin Bieber: Never Say Never" (Feb. 11)

His Big Year: The world figured out who Justin Bieber was in 2010, and he promptly took it over, culminating in an appearance on "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation." He may no longer be a daily Twitter trending topic, but he has yet to stop making headlines. He kicked off 2011 by making the cover of Vanity Fair, and by seeing his rumored girlfriend, Selena Gomez, receive death threats on his behalf. But he's still on Twitter, chatting with fans, solidifying their loyalty, trying to get on "Glee" and priming them for the culmination of Bieberdom: the 3-D release of his concert film, "Never Say Never." Let's say it again: 3-D Bieber.  The world will never be the same.

Seth Rogen

Sony

Starring In: "The Green Hornet" (Jan. 14), "Paul" (March 18), "Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom" (May 27)

His Big Year: Seth Rogen will be proving he's not just a goofball when "The Green Hornet" opens in next week. He'll be proving he's an action hero! That's a lot for one year, so it's no wonder we only will be hearing his voice for the rest of 2011 -- he sounds like an alien in "Paul" and a mantis in "Kung Fu Panda 2."

Vanessa Hudgens

CBS Films

Starring In: "Beastly" (March 18), "Sucker Punch" (March 25), "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island" (Sept. 23)

Her Big Year: This year is Hudgens' biggest and best chance to break free of "High School Musical," and become a star in her own right. She has quite a platform to do it in Zack Snyder's "Sucker Punch" (March 25), a weird, sexy, and action packed movie that's definitely not by Disney. Explosions, katana, and "Mysterious" appearance beside Michael Caine should outstrip her past and earn her a starring role in 2012.

Brad Pitt

Getty Images

Starring In: "The Tree of Life" (May 27), "Moneyball" (Sept. 23)

His Big Year: With the exception of his voiceover work in "Megamind," Pitt has been absent from the big screen since "Inglourious Basterds" in 2009. 2011 is not only the year that will change that, but the one that may again see him be a serious Oscar contender thanks to Terrence Malick's long awaited drama, "The Tree of Life." He'll also star in the long awaited "Moneyball" which is primed for award season with its fall release date. With its theme of underdogs crunching numbers to baseball victory, it could be this year's "The Social Network."

Sofia Vergara

Getty Images

Starring In: "The Smurfs" (Aug. 3), "Happy Feet 2" (Nov. 18) and "New Year's Eve" (Dec. 9)

Her Big Year: Not a day goes by when we don't hear a guy gushing over the beauty of Vergara or people raving about "Modern Family." This year, she ventures into big screen territory. From her signature accent to her remarkable curves, she's one small screen star we're super-excited to welcome to our wheelhouse.

Taylor Lautner

Summit

Starring In: "Abduction" (Sept. 23), "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" (Nov. 18)

His Big Year: As with Pattinson, Lautner is winding down on his "Twilight" duties. While last year saw him hailed as the newest action star, Lautner has taken it surprisingly slow, and many of his much-discussed projects ("Cancun," "Stretch Armstrong," "Incarceron") remain in production. He only has two films scheduled thus far -- and only one of them isn't "Breaking Dawn" -- but "Abduction" is Lautner's first time as a leading man, which is a big jump from Jacob Black.

Jason Segel

Sony

Starring In: "Bad Teacher" (June 17), "The Muppets" (Nov. 23)

His Big Year: Segel played second fiddle to Seth Rogen in "Knocked Up," but he's now a leading man in his own right. Audiences can't get enough of him (even if they have seen all of him, ahem, "Sarah Marshall"), and there doesn't seem to be anyone who isn't excited for "The Muppets." He's written and directed the popular puppets' big comeback and will also costar in the sea of googly eyes. If it's half as funny as we expect it to be, Segel may be worshiped by the world.

Disney

"The Tourist"'s tepid performance at the box office this weekend indicates that audiences prefer their Depp served up with a red bandanna, dreadlocks, guyliner and double-braided goatee.

Not to worry!  Just in the nick of time, Disney has officially kicked off the return of pirate fever by unleashing the first trailer for "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" upon us landlubbers on Yahoo! Movies.

The classic attraction warns us, "Dead men tell no tales," but that's not stopping Disney and Producer Jerry Bruckheimer from telling their fourth... and by the looks of it, this may be the most epic of them all.

The two and a half minute clip gives us an action-packed taste of what director Rob Marshall, taking over for Gore Verbinski, has in store for us come Memorial Day weekend. 

Four years may have gone by since his last adventure, but it appears Captain Jack has changed little since he was At World's End -- the trailer pitting him up against not only Mermaids and Zombies but the fabled Fountain of Youth as well.

Any fears that the absence of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom would be a major factor have been put to rest by Penelope Cruz's feisty Angelica and Ian McShane's Blackbeard, the villainous "pirate that all pirates fear most." Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa makes a welcome return in the trailer as does Keith Richards, back as Sparrow's dad in an ironic moment where the aging rocker warns his son of the dangers of eternal youth.

Avast ye scallywags!  It's looking like pirates will be very "in" again in 2011.  Savvy?

"Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane and Geoffrey Rush opens in 3D and IMAX 3D May 20, 2011.  Only 157 days to go!

Disney

Between the missing eyes, hands and legs, the scraggly beards and the general lack of hygiene, pirates all seem like they could use a good scrub with some Axe body wash. They're a pretty gnarly looking crew... unless, of course, they happen to be Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz.

Exhibit A: USA Today scored the first two official photos -- and Yahoo! Movies posted four more -- of them on the set of the upcoming blockbuster "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," and Depp and Cruz look better than any pirate has the right to look.

For those not in the know, here's the dilly: Cruz plays one of Captain Jack Sparrow's former lovers, which of course can only mean one thing -- trouble. Seems she has an inside track on finding the Fountain of Youth, only it involves the legendary pirate Blackbeard and somehow Geoffrey Rush's Barbarossa gets involved again and then everything goes pear shaped.

But one thing that is definitely not pear shaped is Cruz herself, who looks perfectly ravishing in a corsair's get-up, even if she and Depp are knee-deep in swamp water. And Depp, of course, is still macking the same look that made Captain Jack an icon of the silver screen in the first three "Pirates of the Caribbean" films.

Yum.

While this is the first look at Cruz and Depp in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," it certainly won't be the last, as the first teaser trailer for the film is expected to hit the internet on Monday. Until then, though, we'll satisfy ourselves by looking at these pictures in our gallery below and dreaming of becoming a pirate.

After all, these days a little pillaging seems to be the best beauty product you can buy.

View Gallery »

(Originally published on Dec. 9, 2010, at 10:38 a.m. ET)