What makes a Hollywood face "scary"?

The ways to get on the following list are indeed diverse. You could have made an entire career off of having a naturally horrifying face (reluctantly looking at you, Mr. Englund). You could have a nightmare-inducing mugshot floating on the internet forever (hi, Mr. Nolte). You could even have a relatively friendly face that still is kind of ... well ... noteworthy (Buscemi). One thing's for sure: Each and every person on this list is beautiful on the inside, and that's all that matters.

Having said that, let's talk about how scary their faces are. Look within.

Dimension

It's come to this. The two most public figures of hedonistic excess and hurricane-level character destruction, meeting at last to decide who will have the better future film career based solely on their past shenanigans.

They appear together in the fifth installment of the "Scary Movie" franchise, debuting this Friday, and by all accounts, their time on set together was nothing but peaceful. But that ends today, folks. It ends now.

Sheen versus Lohan. Get your popcorn/breathalyzers ready.

Best Past Performance

Paramount

Charlie Sheen: "Wall Street" (1987)
Lindsay Lohan: "Mean Girls" (2004)
Verdict: "Mean Girls" represents the pinnacle of Lindsay Lohan hotness. She was staggeringly pretty in "Mean Girls," to the point where, sure, we noticed Amanda Seyfried, Rachel McAdams and Lacey Chabert next to her at the lunch table but remained completely disinterested in them, like Aaron Samuels. (Aaron Samuels was the worst, by the way. Cool bowl cut, bud.) She also held her own comedically amongst heavyweights Amy Poehler and Tim Meadows. Sadly, that was a full nine years ago, and it still isn't enough to overtake Sheen's portrayal of Bud Fox in "Wall Street," not to mention Chris in "Platoon." Sheen gets the nod.

Better Saturday Night Live Hosting Gig

Charlie Sheen: January 13, 2001
Lindsay Lohan: May 1, 2004 and March 3, 2012
Verdict: Charlie Sheen acts in comedy roles like he (and not his character) is in on the joke the whole time. He'll deliver a punchline with a smirk, not because he thought the joke was funny, but because he wants to be part of the audience so he can enjoy Charlie Sheen as well. It works for him, of course, to the tune of the nine trillion dollars he was able to earn on "Two and a Half Men" before ever-graciously bowing out a couple years ago, but that doesn't make it any less obnoxious. Lohan, by contrast, could actually deliver comedic performances in her heyday. There's a specific sketch from the 2004 show where she kills (in a good way) a sketch as Hermione back from summer break at Hogwarts which takes down anything Sheen ever did on the '01 episode. Lohan takes this one.

Less Horrifying Easily-Searchable YouTube Video

Charlie Sheen: "Not Bi-Polar - Bi-Winning!"
Lindsay Lohan: OH GOD MAKE IT STOP PLEASE CHRIST
Verdict: One of the most terrifying videos on the Internet. I'm so sorry for the following:

Sheen win(ning)s.

Less Questionable Appearance With a Porn Star

Charlie Sheen: Like 8,792,347,293 examples, but here's a detailed list at RadarOnline from two years ago
Lindsay Lohan: Acts opposite James Deen in the upcoming "The Canyons"
Verdict: This is tough. "The Canyons" was the subject of one of the most entertaining New York Times Magazine pieces of all time, and it hasn't even come out yet. The dysfunction apparent on the set, largely (well, entirely) sparked by Lohan's antics, are absurd. But at least it's an actual movie, and the people making it had genuine intentions, I think. Sheen just bones porn stars by the dozen — which, fine, good for him. But they never look like they actually want to be there, do they? The nod reluctantly goes to Lindsay, though I'm expecting "The Canyons" to have less going for it than "Baby Geniuses 2."

Coolest Family Member

Charlie Sheen: Martin Sheen (sorry, Emilio)
Lindsay Lohan: Um ... Dina Lohan?
Verdict: One of these people was the star of "Apocalypse Now" and played the President of the United States on one of the greatest American television shows of all time.

The other is Dina Lohan.

Yeah, Sheen barely squeaks this one out.

Most Cringeworthy Recent Tweet

Charlie Sheen: 

sorumor has itthis überMohawk too sexxee forher cordon bleu me,chef of minekills it on somehash tag "taste" ful show about EAT.#GI

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) March 6, 2013

Lindsay Lohan:

@

— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) February 7, 2013

Verdict: Lindsay has a surprisingly calm (for her) Twitter account, so we're forced to go all the way back to February, when she Chuck Grassley'd the hell out of a tweet and didn't delete it afterwards. Charlie's sample tweet is from a month ago and it's literally unintelligible. It is the Hammurabi's Code of tweets. Lohan gets the victory, and we're tied at 3 going into the last four.

Better Movie With Emilio Estevez

The Weinstein Company

Charlie Sheen: "Men at Work" (1990)
Lindsay Lohan: "Bobby" (2006)
Verdict: "Bobby" is actually a fairly compelling movie despite director and star Estevez's odd casting choices, including Nick Cannon, Ashton Kutcher and Courtney Stodden.* "Men at Work" is not only a fairly terrible movie, but it's also the name of a TV show that is the current leader in the clubhouse for "Which current television show makes the world a worse place?" Not the fault of the 1990 "Men at Work," but life isn't fair, guys. It's time you learned that now. Lohan takes another.

*Courtney Stodden was not actually in "Bobby."

Less Checkered Dating History

Charlie Sheen: Holy hell, look at this list.
Lindsay Lohan: Holy hell, look at this list.
Verdict: This category is truly a clash of the titans, and we're not talking any Sam Worthington bulls**t. We're talking fifty years ago "Clash of the Titans." But just for sheer density, the nod here goes to Sheen, if only for the fact that if you were an attractive male aged 18-30 in Hollywood over the last ten years, there's a 47% chance you were dating Lindsay Lohan at some point in your life. Chuck is pretty much "Winona Ryder, Denise Richards, Robin Wright, and porn stars." Not bad, but ultimately a tad less "checkered." (Note: Charlie Sheen would be very, very upset about losing this category.)

Less Embarrassing Starring Role in a TV Movie

Showtime

Charlie Sheen: "Rated X" (2000)
Lindsay Lohan: "Liz & Dick," (2012)
Verdict: Take a look at this snapshot from "Rated X". You hesitate to judge a book by its cover (though that's probably appropriate in a Sheen/Lohan article, as neither of these two have read any books lately), but it might be hard to take "Rated X" seriously at all, right? Sheen and Estevez as two fat bald porn producers? Sign me up! It would have been difficult to top this one for Lohan, and yet it does so, so effortlessly, as "Liz & Dick" is the most laughed-at television movie of my lifetime. The nod goes to Chuck.

More Noteworthy Reference in a Pop Song

Charlie Sheen: "Charlie Sheen" by Chamillionaire
Lindsay Lohan: "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull
Verdict: This would seem an easy victory for Chuck, considering he has an entire song named after him. But "Give Me Everything" was so ubiquitous for like six months — seriously, you couldn't walk three feet without hearing that awful, godforsaken song 17 times — that the nod barely goes to Lindsay, even if her name in the song is dropped in the context of being in prison.

Final Tally

Sheen 5, Lohan 5.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie! Wow, in the history of the "Versus" article on NextMovie, we've never--

thank u Pat.thank u Gillie.thank u Chloethank u Allison hash tageternal flamesex oh c

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) March 1, 2013

Charlie, you didn't win! Why are you thanking people? And what is "eternal flamesex"? Sheen is disqualified. Lohan wins. Congratulations on your more prosperous future film career, Lindsay!

Thanks to all for the kind words and overwhelming support #blessed — Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) April 10, 2013

#Welcome

Prettybird

We should've seen this coming.

Porn star James Deen, who took his first dive into acting on the shallow end of the ratings alphabet opposite Lindsay Lohan for "The Canyons," has now reportedly been offered the chance to play his own character in an upcoming X-rated parody of the film. Not only that, but he's also been given a chance to take the director's chair for the movie.

A moment to process? Sure.

Vivid Entertainment's Steve Hirsch proposed the arrangement by writing, "It would be a first in parodies ... the actual star of a mainstream movie also starring in an X-Rated version of that same movie! How cool is that?"

So, essentially, the poor sap who made a movie with the notorious Lilo to try for a break outside of his porn film limits has not only watched the movie's buzz crash and burn (though he did muster up a small defense for the heinous brat his troubled co-star), but now the big opportunity coming out of the maneuver is naughty self-mockery? Par for the rocky course.

On the bright side, he may get a new co-star because apparently the "hot women" are already in queue for the gig, and Mr. Hirsch didn't even bother suggesting Lilo portray herself after Deen's own admission that he and (original) director Paul Schrader prepped for a scene by stating, "Here's your motivation for the scene: after you do this, you'll never have to work with her again." Oh, but wouldn't it be ironic?

Canyons

When it comes to Lindsay Lohan, there's no denying that the career damage has long been done, and that New York Times exposé of all her rampant hissy fits on the set of "The Canyons" only served to justify the world's vitriol — and pity — for her self-destructive ways.

Porn star-turned-actor James Deen, whose victimization at the hands of Lohan has been well-documented, has spoken up to admit he pretty much agrees she's intolerable and horrible to work with, but he also maintained that deep, deep down — we're talkin' Mariana's Trench here — her intentions are, well, "fine."

Speaking to The Daily Beast, he explained of her personality defects, "[s]he was raised in the Hollywood system, so she's used to a certain level of treatment. Instead of saying, 'Excuse me, could you please pass me the water?' She's used to saying, 'I need water,' and then someone just giving her water. She's been conditioned to say what she needs and then someone will bring it to her, so I can see why people would consider her to be a train wreck or a b--ch or whatever, but her intentions are fine."

Oh, okay, well that changes everything then. Sure. Points for the guy trying to say something nice about his reportedly nightmarish co-star, at least.

What of the accusations she was unprofessional to both Deen and director Paul Schrader? Like the moment when both gents got so ticked with Lilo's ways that they started screaming and taking it out on one another?

Deen admitted it did get to that "comedic" point, with frustrated director and thespian shouty-capping compliments at one another just to yell something, and added that Shrader ended it with, "Here's your motivation for the scene: after you do this, you'll never have to work with her again."

That just about says it all, folks.

Forget the cliché term "trainwreck," since the new Lindsay Lohan vehicle "The Canyons" is starting to look like a yacht got eaten by a shark which got hit by a car which caused a trainwreck that was blown up by missiles, and then a plane fell on it.

In other words, it's bad, and we've got a new three-minute clip as our pudding of proof.

The clip features Lilo and her increasingly Muppet-like features going about some luxurious Malibu mansion looking for her cell phone, which leads to an unexpected (or is that unmotivated?) explosion from porn star James Deen as her boyfriend.

Since this scene contains very little in the way of dialogue, we're guessing that Lohan's bizarre behavior on set (as chronicled in a recent New York Times exposé) didn't translate into a brilliant, Meryl Streep-like performance. It's trivial anyway, since Lilo will, in all likelihood, be having brunch with Brittany Murphy any day now, if you know what we mean.

Canyons

Hey, at least the movie got made, right?

Lindsay Lohan emerges as a whole new kind of train wreck thanks to an extremely detailed and revealing article that was published today in the New York Times. Ace reporter Stephen Rodrick delivers a lengthy but utterly fascinating read about "Taxi Driver" and "Raging Bull" screenwriter Paul Schrader, Twitter bully Bret Easton Ellis, porn superstar James Deen and everyone's favorite former Disney princess coming together to make "The Canyons," a microbudgeted sex-and-drugs odyssey funded mostly by a Kickstarter campaign.

Aspiring filmmakers, you might want to steer clear of this crazy lot if you're trying to get your own project off the ground -- especially the female lead. Here are the 10 best Lilo-related tidbits from "Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie" (which is definitely worth reading in its entirety if you can conjure your pre-Internet attention span).

10. "Hi, how are you? I won't play Cynthia. I want to play Tara, the lead." That's how Lindsay greeted director Paul Schrader and producer Braxton Pope during their first meeting at the Chateau Marmont. Luckily, the filmmakers had been tipped on this demand ahead of time by Lohan's agent.

9. The casting agreement stated that Lindsay would receive $100 a day and an equal share in the profits, and no vote on decision-making. Someone's probably shooting a movie in your apartment building under these exact same terms right now. The movie was so low-budget that it didn't need production insurance, which is one of the main reasons why Lohan is so unemployable right now.

The New York Times

8. During the first table read (to which Lohan was late), Schrader told her that her character, Tara, is a failed actress. "Rejection is formative for an actress," he explained. "Well, it's nothing like going to jail, I can tell you that," Lohan replied. Probably true.

7. Lindsay didn't show up during the first two days of filming and Schrader fired her. Upon hearing the news from Pope, Lohan headed for the Orlando Hotel in Beverly Hills and pounded on doors until she found Schrader's room. Schrader heard her crying but didn't let her in, simply texting her "Lindsay, go home." Lohan stayed out in the hall sobbing for another 90 minutes before she finally left, with Schrader refusing any assistance from hotel security.

6. Schrader came up with the theory that Lohan's weakness wasn’t drugs but fear of being alone. She needed people and chaos around her 24/7. The idea of being by herself scared the hell out of her. Hey, it's as good a theory as any.

5. During the first shooting day on location at a mansion in the Malibu hills, Lohan announced that she wanted to grab lunch somewhere on the Pacific Coast Highway. Co-producer Ricky Horne Jr. was dispatched to chaperone Lohan, her publicist and her assistants to wherever they wanted to go. At the security gate, Lohan and her entourage jumped out of Horne's car and bolted for an assistant's car. Lindsay lost her off-site lunch break privileges after that.

4. After filming a particularly grueling physical struggle in which Deen throws her to the floor, Lindsay was complimented by some of the crew on her performance. "Well, I've got a lot of experience with that from my dad." She didn't elaborate, and no one asked. Yeesh.

The New York Times

3. Lindsay freaked on the day she was to shoot a graphic four-way sex scene with Deen and two other porn stars. She locked herself in a walk-in closet and refused to come out. Schrader stripped off all of his clothes and approached her: "Lins, I want you to be comfortable. C'mon, let's do this." It worked.

2. After Lohan's refusal to hit her mark caused the camera crew to switch to hand-held, she retreated to the patio for a smoke. Her body mic was still on, which caused any of the sound crew still wearing headphones to hear her plain as day. "I've got one assistant passed out at my house and the other one in the Palisades saying he wants to hang himself," she confided to her smoke-break buddy. "Life's great."

1. The night before what was supposed to be the final full day of shooting, Lindsay was out with Lady Gaga until 5:30 a.m. Her call was 6 a.m. By 9 a.m., she was lying down in a Café Med booth with her hands over her eyes, shading them from imaginary sunlight. The production had the restaurant only until 11. A doctor told Schrader that Lindsay was suffering from an "inner ear infection." They shot around her that day.

And there you have it. "The Canyons" wasn't accepted to the Sundance Film Festival, so who knows when we all might have a chance to see this thing (which Steven Soderbergh offered to recut, by the way). Until then, we have this epic behind-the-scenes story of a group of has-beens trying desperately to resurrect their careers with the weirdest project imaginable ... and this amazing trailer:

Dimension Films

In Hollywood, there's often a fine line between good-natured parody and outright exploitation. You know, should a down-on-their-luck star take the potentially embarrassing "Celebrity Apprentice" gig or not? It can be a real grey area.

Luckily for us, though, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan still haven't figured out the difference, which is probably why they both have such a large presence in the new trailer for "Scary Movie V."

Hey, if you can't get people to laugh with you, at least you can still get them to laugh at you.

Which is kind of too bad, because honestly, the rest of this new teaser for the fifth installment of the horror parody franchise actually looks sorta funny in a good way. Ashley Tisdale, Heather Locklear, Katt Williams and Terry Crews are among the other stars who gamely deliver punchlines in a clip that sets its sights squarely on "Paranormal Activity" and its found footage ilk.

Still, all the hype so far has been about Sheen and Lohan, appearing together for the first time since the last cover for The National Enquirer. So if you're the kind of person who still gets a charge of schadenfreude from watching stars brought low, this this clip is just what you've been waiting for. Here it is, courtesy of MTV:

Canyons

Lindsay Lohan has had her ups and downs, to put it very mildly. It may be hard to remember now, but once upon a time she was considered to be one of Hollywood's brightest and most promising young talents before her offscreen antics and tabloid escapades derailed her career.

Now she's trying to forge a comeback — and as this brand new trailer shows, if Li-Lo wants to reach the heights again, first she has to survive "The Canyons."

Here's the deal: Directed by Paul Schrader, who's best known for writing such controversial films as "The Last Temptation of Christ," "Taxi Driver" and "Raging Bull," "The Canyons" stars Lohan and porn star James Deen as two troubled Los Angeles youth who get caught up in the city's seedy, sex obsessed underbelly. And considering "The Canyons" was written by "American Psycho" author Bret Easton Ellis, chances are "The Canyons," which hits theaters next year, is going to be every bit as controversial as it sounds.

But will it be enough to bring Lohan back from the brink? Take a look at the highly stylized new trailer for "The Canyons," courtesy of Entertainment Weekly, and see for yourself:

Universal

Actors are trained to be able to portray just about anything their role calls for, but there's one thing even the best actors can't possibly fake: Singing.

That's why we're always so impressed when actors sing on screen rather than just lip-synch some professional musician. Case in point: Next week's "Pitch Perfect," which features stars such as Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson belting out tunes like the divas they were meant to be.

In honor of that achievement, then, we've put together our list of the 25 Best Music Performances in Movie History. Because you may be able to fool the eye, but the ears never lie.

25. Lindsay Lohan in 'Mean Girls'

Paramount

Just try and imagine how differently LiLo might be thought of today if she had retired after the 2004 hit "Mean Girls." After all, she was both charming and on key while leading the crowd in an impromptu performance of "Jingle Bell Rock" in one of the movie's most memorable scenes. Alas, she decided to keep making films (and headlines), but we prefer to remember her for these good old times instead. Watch a clip.

24. Michelle Pfeiffer in 'The Fabulous Baker Boys'

20th Century Fox

It's difficult to really focus on Pfeiffer's singing in "The Fabulous Baker Boys" because she spends significant time writhing around on top of a piano. Which is … really distracting. But if you close your eyes and listen, you'll hear a winningly sultry performance that really provided the backbone to this 1989 hit. Of course, the piano thing didn't hurt either. Watch a clip.

23. Kate Winslet in 'Sense and Sensibility'

Columbia Pictures

The only thing we regret about Winslet's singing in 1995's "Sense and Sensibility" is that there isn't more of it. From the moment Alan Rickman walks in on her during a musical recital, he is hopelessly smitten thanks to her charm and her pure, crystal clear singing voice. She has since sung in several other films since, but nothing yet compares to the first time. Watch a clip.

22. Johnny Depp in 'Sweeney Todd'

DreamWorks

When it comes to singing in movies, Depp is a bit of a ringer. After all, prior to becoming a movie star, he fronted his own rock band. Still, the kind of singing Depp had to pull off in 2007's "Sweeney Todd" was a bit different than '80s punk, so it was an eye-opener to hear him belt out those dark show tunes with such verve. That's why he gets the big bucks, folks. Watch a clip.

21. Marlon Brando in 'Guys and Dolls'

MGM

Brando revolutionized the way acting was done thanks to his gritty method style. And he turned all that intensity and focus to the world of singing for the 1955 musical "Guys and Dolls." He might not be the most talented singer on this list, but, as his career and life prove, unwavering dedication to your craft can take you a long, long way. Watch a clip.

20. Zooey Deschanel in 'Elf'

New Line

When "Elf" hit theaters in 2003, Deschanel hadn't yet formed one half of the darling indie rock duo "She & Him." But her sweet and insouciant rendition of "Baby It's Cold Outside" is enough to melt even the most frigid heart and helped give the film a real soul. You can just feel the Christmas spirit oozing out on this one. Watch a clip.

19. Gwyneth Paltrow in 'Duets'

Hollywood Pictures

Hitting theaters in 2000, "Duets" was a tour-de-force of actors singing and usually singing pretty badly. Which is fine, because the movie is about karaoke. But Paltrow shocked audiences and critics alike by actually being really good, particularly in her duet with pro Huey Lewis. Since then, Paltrow has hit the country music charts and performed live with Cee Lo Green, proving this was no fluke. Watch a clip.

18. Zac Efron in 'Hairspray'

New Line Cinema

Performing a duet with an animated photograph could have been a pretty tricky task; one wrong move and you look like something out of a "Harry Potter" gag reel. Luckily, though, Efron had an ace up his sleeve for 2007's "Hairspray:" A boat load of confidence from his "High School Musical" days. As a result, "Without Love" became one of the most memorable moments in this surprise hit. Dumbledore would have been proud. Watch a clip.

17. Tim Blake Nelson in 'O Brother, Where Art Thou'

Hollywood Pictures

Co-stars George Clooney and John Turturro lip-synched their vocals in the 2000 Coen Brothers film "O Brother, Where Art Thou?," with other musicians providing the vocals. Nelson, on the other hand, stepped right in and belted out the lead track to "In the Jailhouse Now" without batting an eye. We're guessing he must have been a Dapper Dan man to pull that one off. Watch a clip.

16. Evan Rachel Wood in 'Across the Universe'

Columbia Pictures

Singing hits by The Beatles isn't exactly easy. After all, every single person in the entire world has already heard the songs, which means you're always going to be compared with the greatest band in history. But Wood not only had the nerve to take on this challenge in 2007's "Across the Universe," she did The Beatles more than proud with her touching version of "If I Fell." Bonus points definitely awarded for degree of difficulty. Watch a clip.

15. Russell Brand in 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'

Universal

Considering Brand was playing a rock star, you just knew 2008's "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" was going to require the emaciated comedian to belt out some tunes. What was unexpected was how good — and even moving — his performance was. Good enough to launch a spin-off sequel for his character, anyway. Watch a clip.

14. Adam Sandler in 'The Wedding Singer'

New Line Cinema

Even before 1998's "The Wedding Singer," Sandler had made a career out of turning music into comedy thanks to his frequent and frequently hilarious ditties on "Saturday Night Live." But with "The Wedding Singer," Sandler became an international superstar due in no small part to the real conviction he put into his low-grade performances as an '80s wedding singer with heart to spare. Watch a clip.

13. Meryl Streep in 'Mamma Mia!'

Universal

Streep is generally regarded as not just the greatest actress of her generation, but simply the greatest actress of all time. So it shouldn't really have been a surprise to learn in 2008's ABBA musical "Mamma Mia!" that she can also sing damn well too, thank you very much. It's hard to pick a favorite tune from this smorgasbord, but we have to go with the title track. Mamma mia, indeed. Watch a clip.

12. Hugh Grant in 'Music and Lyrics'

Warner Bros.

Usually when stars get up the gumption to sing in a movie, they want to prove how good they are, which, in turn, means that those performances are serious business. And then there's the 2007 rom-com "Music and Lyrics," which features Grant going for broke as a hilariously washed up singer. But the funny bits (see: The fake '80s hit "PoP! Goes My Heart") just make it even more poignant when Grant ends up putting together a truly heartfelt performance at the end. Well played. Watch a clip.

11. Tom Cruise in 'Rock of Ages'

Warner Bros.

When "Rock of Ages hit theaters earlier this year, one question was on everyone's lips: Could Tom Cruise actually rock? And the answer, of course, is an unqualified yes. As Stacee Jaxx, Cruise finally unleashed all the musical charisma he had previously only hinted at in short singing scenes like "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" in "Top Gun." Rock on, Tom. Watch a clip.

10. Queen Latifah in 'Chicago'

Miramax

Rob Marshall's 2002 adaptation of the stage hit "Chicago" was filled with surprising musical performances, both good (Catherine Zeta-Jones, Renee Zellweger) and not so good (Richard Gere). But it was former recording star-turned-actress Queen Latifah who really provided the musical backbone for this surprise Best Picture winner. Hey, she's the Queen for a reason. Watch a clip.

9. John Travolta in 'Grease'

Paramount

It's no exaggeration to say that Travolta's performance in 1978's "Grease" is one of the great musical achievements in cinematic history. Just try and attend a wedding without one of his tracks playing. Nearly 35 years later, the soundtrack to "Grease" remains a cornerstone of pop culture. It's hard to do better than that. Watch a clip.

8. Jeff Bridges in 'Crazy Heart'

Fox Searchlight

Bridges is no stranger to guitar picking, and that was never more evident than in 2009's indie drama "Crazy Heart." As washed up country singer Bad Blake, Bridges created a moving performance by delivering some of the most authentic musical performances ever put on the big screen. He won the Oscar for Best Actor as a result. Watch a clip.

7. Joaquin Phoenix in 'Walk the Line'

New Line Cinema

Singing is one thing. Stepping into the shoes of one of America's greatest icons is something else entirely. But Phoenix nailed both in 2005's "Walk the Line," emulating Johnny Cash's signature baritone well enough to earn an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. You could even say he came out of the ring of fire unscathed. Watch a clip.

6. Julie Andrews in 'Mary Poppins'

Disney

Andrews is known for her amazing vocal talents and that is in large part due to her introduction to movie fans, 1964's Disney classic "Mary Poppins." Coming to film from the world of Broadway musicals, Andrews became an instant cinematic icon thanks to songs like "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," "A Spoonful of Sugar" and "Feed the Birds." A year later, she cemented her legacy with "The Sound of Music," but it all started here. Watch a clip.

5. Heath Ledger in '10 Things I Hate About You'

Buena Vista Pictures

Unlike many of the stars on this list, Ledger wasn't playing some big time musician in 1999's "10 Things I hate About You." But that just makes his heartfelt rendition of "You're Just Too Good to be True" — over the football stadium loudspeakers — even more charming. Julia Stiles never had a chance... and neither did we. Watch a clip.

4. Jack Black in 'High Fidelity'

Buena Vista Pictures

Thanks to his band Tenacious D, which previously had been featured on HBO, Black came into 2000's "High Fidelity" with a leg up. And he needed it, because not only did his character have to spout snarky opinions on other people's music, he also had to belt out a show-stopping rendition of Marvin Gaye's classic "Let's Get It On." Done and done. Watch a clip.

3. Ewan McGregor in 'Moulin Rouge!'

20th Century Fox

Given how much McGregor apparently enjoys singing (seriously, just check YouTube), the fact that he was willing to belt it out in a Baz Luhrmann musical isn't really a surprise. What is a surprise is just how darn good he is in 2001's "Moulin Rouge!" It might be cheesy to say that he and co-star Nicole Kidman made beautiful music together, but it's also 100 percent accurate. Watch a clip.

2. Val Kilmer in 'The Doors'

Carolco Pictures

Rumor has long had it that when Kilmer finished filming Oliver Stone's 1991 biopic on The Doors, he had to enter therapy because he had half-convinced himself he actually was Jim Morrison. That sounds hard to believe, but his singing also sounds hard to believe considering how close it is to the real thing. Blurring the line: Stone alternated audio between Kilmer and Morrison, making it hard to know where one ends and the other begins. Worth the cost of a good psychiatrist. Watch a clip.

1. Jennifer Hudson in 'Dreamgirls'

DreamWorks

Okay, so Hudson is arguably better known as a recording star than she is as an actress, so this might be considered cheating by some people. But to those people, we have this rejoinder: The Best Supporting Actress Oscar. End of discussion. Take a look and a listen to her performance of the anthem "And I Am Telling You" to see why, in 2006, the dream came true for this member of the "Dreamgirls." Watch a clip.

IFC Films

With soccer moms now taking pole dancing aerobics at the Y, it’s safe to say that stripping (not to mention its costumed cousin, burlesque) has seduced mainstream America ... for better or worse.

However, for every relatively whimsical look at the profession ("The Full Monty," "Sin City"), there seems to be at least two darker examinations. In the case of "About Cherry," which has commenced with putting on a show in theaters as of today, sometimes working in a strip club can lead to stripping (and doing other stuff) on a porn set ... and a dubious romance with a coke-addicted lawyer (James Franco).

Still, whether their stories are super-serious or all in good fun, movie strippers certainly provide the eye candy along with a sense of intriguing, unattainable mystery. Here are 15 of our favorite on-screen adult entertainers.

Natalie Portman in 'Closer' (2004)

"Closer" is a sizzling melodrama following four adults as they explore their identities and moral limits... or... something. Honestly, no one remembers. Because halfway through the movie, Jane (Portman) bends over in a g-string. Rumor has it there's some strong performances and riveting dialogue. There might be -- that seems totally, totally plausible. But after Jane struts about in next to nothing but a hot pink wig for 10 minutes, the rest of the film becomes a murky haze. Julia Roberts might be in it too. It's hard to say.

Sony

Jessica Alba in 'Sin City' (2005)

Nancy, the stripper from the graphic novel on which this film is based, was drawn nude. But Alba, concerned her father would have a traumatic viewing experience (a.k.a. heart attack), decided to sport a modest leather bra and chaps instead -- the coy cowgirl look. Not to worry though. Much like the film's monochromatic milieu, Alba's less-is-more approach flaunts everything we need to see while leaving a few secrets in the dark.

Dimension

Elizabeth Berkeley in 'Showgirls' (1995)

How does an actress known for being "the girl that isn’t Tiffani-Amber Thiessen" on "Saved By the Bell" break free and redefine her career? Elizabeth Berkeley took the path of least clothes, portraying Nomi, a tempestuous stripper who dreams of showgirl stardom, while battling the darkest recesses of the Vegas underworld in this so-bad-it's-good cult classic. And it worked; she is now known as "the girl on 'Saved by the Bell' who got naked in 'Showgirls.'" (Four years later, Berkeley graduated to prostitute in "Any Given Sunday.")

United Artists

Salma Hayek in 'From Dusk Till Dawn' (1996)

In a border town club called The Titty Twister, Hayek is the main attraction. Wearing little more than an oversized snake, she undulates for a room of gawkers. But it's her coup de grace, wherein she channels liquor down her leg and into Quentin Tarantino's gullet via her bare foot, that elevates this tease from mere craft to fine art.

Warning: She's also an evil vampire so...resist the lap dance.

Everett Collection

Marisa Tomei in 'The Wrestler' (2008)

Taking on the role of a stripper is risky, sometimes inviting all the wrong sorts of attention. But the gamble paid off for Tomei, who earned an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Cassidy, an aging dancer in Jersey who, like the wrestler she befriends, is realizing it's time to hang up her tights. It's not every actress who can, at once, be both sexy and heartbreaking.

Fox Searchlight

Demi Moore in 'Striptease' (1996)

Perhaps the story of a dancing, single mom spoke to Demi. Or the record-breaking $12 million-paycheck. Or maybe it was just the best forum from which to show off her recently renovated rack. While few can recall this box office bomb's plot, no one can forget Erin (Moore) ripping off her shirt on the catwalk while snarling like a jungle cat.

Everett Collection

Rose McGowan in 'Grindhouse' (2007)

Cherry Darling (McGowan) discovers she has more talents than just go-go dancing when a town of zombies gets unruly. After her leg is torn off, she attaches a grenade launcher to her stump and takes care of business, Robert Rodriguez-style. Filmed in the yellowed colors of faux faded film, McGowan's opening tease welcomes us into a nostalgic tribute to the exploitation movies of the late '70s.

Dimension

Pamela Anderson in 'Barb Wire' (1996)

Do you enjoy nudity but can't be bothered with waiting for the actual movie to begin? Good news. In this sci-fi thriller about a sexy assassin, Anderson's breasts have been freed from their oppressive shirt -- and diligently sprayed with a hose -- long before the opening credits have finished rolling. It's heartening when a filmmaker and an audience are on the same page.

Everett Collection

Lindsay Lohan in 'I Know Who Killed Me' (2007)

There's something a little off about Lohan's stripping scenes. Frankly, there's something a little off about everything in this bizarre horror movie that boasts a record eight Razzie Awards (including Worst Picture and Worst Actress). If you can get past the fact that Lohan is, inexplicably, the only stripper in her club that isn't naked, and that her hand is slowly decomposing (really), her pole dancing scenes are quite sexy.

Warning: You will not get past that decomposing hand.

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Jessica Biel in 'Powder Blue' (2009)

On a dismal Christmas Eve, Biel keeps it very real as Rose Johnny, a troubled dancer with a comatose son whose father (Ray Liotta) has tracked her down after leaving prison. Events morph from morbid to kinky, culminating in a sad stage performance in which Rose, in tears, splashes herself with hot wax. But despite all these depressing truth bombs dropping to and fro, Biel's expertly practiced pole routine is sure to lift your spirits.

Everett Collection

Jennifer Beals in 'Flashdance' (1983)

It's a rare moment in history when all of America's teenage girls want to emulate the exact same stripper. But in '83, the stars aligned. Alex (Beals) is a Pittsburgh steel welder by day (like most strippers), and dances by night. Longing to be accepted into a legit conservatory, she choreographs elaborate -- and damp -- routines that have been referenced endlessly (and most blatantly by Jennifer Lopez). Beals' girl next door charm and hot moves made the film, and its soundtrack, a smash hit.

Everett Collection

Jenna Jameson in 'Zombie Strippers' (2008)

Porn star Jameson gets undead in this not impossible, but improbable, story of a post-apocalyptic strip club where zombie dancers (infected by a virus created by the military) are more popular than fully alive ones. This is the cinematic answer for all those who have admired the acting chops of Jameson in her earlier work, but always wished that she looked...deader.

Gina Gershon in 'Showgirls' (1995)

Gershon plays catty rival to Jessie Spano in the only NC-17 rated film to ever get a wide release. As Cristal Connors, the top showgirl of the Stardust club that Berkeley's Nomi dreams of working at, she taunts and toys with Berkeley, calling her a whore one moment, seducing her the next. She's the diva you love to hate. Or, in other words: a diva.

United Artists

Heather Graham 'The Hangover' (2009)

Graham has the solar ability to brighten any scene with those big blue eyes and serene smile. So even as Jade, a stripper/hooker with a newborn, we readily buy that Ed Helms pulled his own tooth out to impress her -- and gave her his grandmother's Holocaust ring. Jade is the mistake we all wish we could make in Vegas.

Warning: Most hookers do not look like Heather Graham.

Warner Bros.

The Men of 'The Full Monty' (1997)

No one asked for it. No one wanted to see it. But we got it. And it was funny and touching and... sexy? Hey, if you’re into them, we aren't judging -- this is a safe place. And this charming indie from the '90s finally gave the whole family -- even grandma -- a stripper they could get behind.

Everett Collection

Originally published on Friday, Nov. 26, 2010 at 2:00 p.m. ET.

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Remember when we decided to do a few face swaps for "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" photos? Of course you do. They were so hilariously creepy that you will probably never be able to get those images out of your head.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the Internet, we've dug up some photos to keep you horrified. Someone decided to give a few rom-com posters a facelift — or two — and swap the faces of the lovable leads.

So if you've ever wondered if Richard Gere could pull off Julia Roberts' iconic hair and thigh-high boots in "Pretty Woman" or if Sarah Jessica Parker is laid-back enough to fill Matthew McConaughey's shoes in "Failure to Launch," the answer is in this imgur photo album, and it's not pretty.

Our favorite poster from the album is the funny face swap from "Just My Luck." Who knew pink was Chris Pine's color and Lindsay Lohan actually looks good as a dude?

Check out the creepiest posters below, and head over to imgur to have your mind blown.

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We were excited to learn that headline-grabbers Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen were joining forces for what is bound to be the most killer cameo of 2013, but we didn't know just how "killer" it would be until now.

The Hollywood Reporter has announced that Lohan and Sheen's appearance in "Scary Movie 5" as "the world's hottest new couple" will end with both of them probably getting the ax within the first few minutes.

Sheen, who also co-starred in "Scary Movie 3," will be joining the ranks of other B-list celebs like Pamela Anderson, Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil who have met their demise at the start of the comedy series that pokes fun at the movie clichés of today.

Remembering how much audiences cheered back in 2005 when tabloid princess Paris Hilton died in "House of Wax," there's no doubt the audience will blow the roof off for Lohan and Sheen's onscreen deaths. Given their place on Ranker's Celebrity Death Pool (#9 and #50, respectively), let's hope the real grim reaper doesn't beat "Scary Movie" to it.

It's been six years since the last installment, so they've got a lot of catching up to do parody-wise. Expect to see spoofs including, but not limited to, "Paranormal Activity," "Twilight," "Human Centipede," "Black Swan," "Zombieland," "The Strangers," "The Last Exorcism," "Insidious," "The Woman in Black," "Prometheus" and anything else that comes out between now and the "Scary Movie 5" opening day.

Ashley Tisdale and Erica Ash will headline the movie, along with Terry Crews who BlackFilm reports will have a role. It begins shooting in September under director Malcolm Lee, and will haunt theaters with hilarity on April 19, 2013.

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UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan has officially signed on to "Scary Movie 5," according to E! Online. She'll be joining Charlie Sheen, who's back for more meta-antics despite the fact that he was killed off rather spectacularly in "Scary Movie 4." Hey, you can always find a way to bring Charlie Sheen back from the grave, right?

"Scary Movie 5," which is reportedly a complete reboot of the franchise (for whatever reason the producers seem to think it needs to be), will hit theaters on Jan. 11, 2013.

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We think it's pretty safe to say that Lindsay Lohan's been a hot mess machine had a rocky few years, but now that her court appearances are behind her, it seems the actress is turning her focus back to … drum roll, please … acting! That's right, the 26-year-old starlet is reportedly in talks for a lead role in "Scary Movie 5."

Though not many details of the horror-spoof movie are known, it seems that Lohan would join former "High School Musical" star Ashley Tisdale in the cast, The Wrap reveals. Malcolm Lee (of "Undercover Brother" fame) is set to direct. If the deal goes through, more details should flutter to the surface soon, as the flick is scheduled for an April 19, 2013, release.

In the meantime, LiLo filmed the Lifetime biopic "Liz & Dick," in which she portrays the iconic Elizabeth Taylor opposite Grant Bowler, who plays Taylor's famed husband Richard Burton. That project chugged along pretty well, except for one minor blip where she passed out from "exhaustion" and someone in her camp ended up calling 911 or something. Oops.

Hopefully Lohan can keep it together and get this deal for "Scary Movie 5" inked soon, because if anything can bring out her old "Mean Girls" star quality, we're pretty sure it's that. Or something.

Originally published on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 11:02 a.m. ET.

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Ah, Lindsay Lohan, a girl who's always in the news though rarely for any good reason. But this time, at least it's because she's landed a new movie. With a porn star, no less.

It's easy to forget that she's an actress and not some errant heiress running amok and causing mischief in Hollywood. Even still, she's said she wants an Oscar by the age of 30, so she'll have to actually make some movies in between court sessions to get her way.

Lucky for her, according to The Wrap, she's found a group of filmmakers who want her for their movie. Yep, Lilo's the girl for Bret Easton Ellis' "The Canyons," a new thriller brainchild of the "American Psycho" writer, co-starring renowned adult film actor James Deen.

Ellis wrote on his Twitter page today, "I am beyond thrilled that James Deen and Lindsay Lohan will be playing the parts of Christian and Tara in THE CANYONS," and "Could not have dreamed of a better cast. Lindsay nailed it."

Singing her praises even further was producer Braxton Pope, who said, "This gets overwhelmed by publicity and her personal tumult, but Lindsay is a very talented actress ... She's not in the same genus as Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton. She's the real deal." Not something you hear everyday, now is it?

According to Ellis' feed, shooting on "The Canyons" will run from July 9-31 in Los Angeles with Lohan — assuming her recent traffic accident hasn't affected her "Liz & Dick" production schedule — and Paul Shrader ("American Gigolo") will direct.

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Oh, Amanda Bynes. What are we going to do with you?

Back on April 6, the 26-year-old actress was arrested after sideswiping a police car as she attempted to make a right hand turn, all (allegedly) while under the influence of alcohol or drugs—or possibly both. Whatever she was (or was not) on, she refused to take a Breathalyzer or drug test, which didn't go over so well with LA's finest.

After Bynes' hearing yesterday, in which the actress was formally charged, she took to Twitter to enlist the help of her mother her fans the president of the United States.

"I don't drink," she tweeted to @BarackObama. "Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don't hit and run. The end."

It certainly may be the end of something… but the jury's still out as to what. Shockingly, there has been no formal reply from the Obama camp to the request.

As recounted by The Hollywood Reporter, the April 6 incident, however, is just one in a list of driving-related headaches for Bynes. She has also reportedly sideswiped another vehicle, held up traffic while struggling through a three-point U-turn and backing over a curb while texting.

She's scheduled to appear in front of the Beverly Hills Superior Court Judge Elden Fox (apparently his real name), who also presided over the majority of Lindsay Lohan's DUI case. Only time will tell whether Fox believes Bynes' claim that she's a teetotaler, but something tells us that's going to be a tough sell.

In the meantime, maybe buy some rollerblades?

NBC

Reality television is full of melt downs, blow ups and uncomfortable human train wrecks that you just can't take your eyes off of. Disney, on the other hand, is known for its princesses, those talented young ladies whose lives are more fairy tale than cautionary tale. So what happens when you mix reality TV with Disney, as "Saturday Night Live" did last night?

Lindsay Lohan, of course.

Yes, Lohan is back (for now anyway) and thanks to "Saturday Night Live" she's just tuned in her best work in years with the fantastic skit "The Real Housewives of Disney." Oh, sure, Cinderella, Belle and Snow White have sterling reputations, but what happens when these animated beauties stop being polite and start being real?

Comedy, that's what. Check out the clip, courtesy of NBC -- and see why you'll never look at Disney princesses quite the same way again:

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UPDATE: Brett Ratner has resigned from his post as producer of the 2012 Academy Awards. The official Oscars site offered the following statement:

"He did the right thing for the Academy and for himself. Words have meaning, and they have consequences. Brett is a good person, but his comments were unacceptable. We all hope this will be an opportunity to raise awareness about the harm that is caused by reckless and insensitive remarks, regardless of the intent."

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Brett Ratner is a great many things to this world: the producer of the 2012 Academy Awards, somebody who (allegedly) masturbates while eating shrimp and a guy who just can't help himself when he sees the opportunity to use a gay slur. He's like all the Disney princes wrapped into one!

Ratner, who recently told a reporter that he won't practice the show pre-broadcast because "rehearsal is for f*gs," has since apologized for his remarks, but critics are still are calling for the director to be fired as the Oscars' producer.

Despite the controversy, Tom Sherak, president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, has announced that the organization will keep Ratner on as producer.

Sherak told Deadline, "He said it best in his apology, that his comments were dumb and insensitive. When you think of our community, it went against all the beliefs of the creative community we represent. He knew it was wrong and he issued that response as quickly as any human being ever has. The bottom line is, this won't and can't happen again. It will not happen again. He apologized and we will move forward."

He continued, "How do I know this? I've known this man for a very long time. He has many friends who are members of the gay and lesbian community. The apology he gave I truly believe comes from his heart. If I didn't believe it, I would do something about it. This is about integrity and honoring the Academy Awards, but we all make mistakes and I believe he didn't mean it."

While Ratner may be finished throwing out homophobic remarks to anyone who'll listen, he's far from done riding the insult train to unemploymentland; after denying Olivia Munn's claims about his sexual prowess, Ratner admitted to Howard Stern that he had done the dirty with Lindsay Lohan – but only after he forced her to take an STD test. Swoon!

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(Originally published on Nov. 8, 2011, at 3:09 p.m. ET)

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UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan is joining the Gotti family after all.

However, instead of taking on the role of John Gotti's daughter, Victoria, Lohan will now be playing Kim Gotti, the wife of John Gotti, Jr., according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Negotiations for Lohan to play Victoria had indeed come to an unsuccessful end, though she apparently lobbied hard enough to still be part of the project in some capacity.

You're in, Lindsay. Now don't mess it up!

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It's official: Lindsay Lohan can't get a break in this town.

Only a week after a press conference announced Lindsay Lohan has a member of the cast, RadarOnline has received word straight from the filmmakers' mouths that LiLo was out for the upcoming biopic "Gotti: Three Generations." Marc Fiore, the executive producer on "Gotti" drove the point home: "“Lindsay is not going to be in the movie.  Her playing Victoria Gotti is off the table.  There is zero chance that Lindsay will be in the movie.”

Sounds official.

Unfortunately for Lohan, her part in the film would have been one of a two picture deal that was in the works with Fiore. X17 Online reveals the other film in the deal was "Mob Story," a "Wall Street" meets "Goodfellas"-type flick in which the actress would have co-starred alongside legendary actor Chazz Palminteri. Now, both movies are completely out of the Lohan business.

Between combating criminal charges and being hounded by the press, Lindsay Lohan has faced an uphill battle getting back into the acting scene, with most rumors (Lindsay Lohan in Superman?) losing steam with a few projects that, while interesting, might be too out there for mainstream audiences (Tyler Shields' upcoming Charles Manson movie). "Gotti" would have been a nice start to legitimacy for the actress, but misfortune once again intervened.

There is a silver lining, ish: Fiore claims “This is not about Lindsay. She has been nothing but gracious," and mentions that they couldn't strike a deal with her management team.

Oh well. Back to the drawing board, Lindsay!

(Originally published on Wednesday, April 20, 2011 at 3:38 p.m. ET)

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Hollywood history is filled with unforgettable portrayals of mob life, with some actors becoming almost synonymous with on-screen gangsters. Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando -- all legends, all legendary cinematic mobsters. And now, it looks like we'll be able to add a new name to that list:

Lindsay Lohan?

That's right: according to ComingSoon, Lohan is in talks to join cinematic gangland icon Joe Pesci in the upcoming true life mobster epic "Gotti: Three Generations." Talk about an offer we can't refuse.

Pesci, of course, has appeared in some of the most acclaimed mobster flicks of all time, including Martin Scorsese's one-two punch of "Goodfellas" and "Casino." And the other folks involved in the production of "Gotti," which tells the story of New York's real life Gotti crime syndicate from the point of view of patriarch John Gotti's son, aren't exactly slouches either: director Nick Cassavetes ("The Notebook") knows his way around a camera, as does headlining star John Travolta.

Lohan, on the other hand, is a bit of a left field selection due in part to her ongoing legal trouble, which you may have heard about. While nothing is yet set in stone, Lohan appears to be up for the role of Victoria Gotti, who parlayed her fame as John Gotti's daughter into a short-lived reality series on A&E titled "Growing Up Gotti." So... on second thought, maybe this casting news does make sense.

"Gotti: Three Generations" isn't set to begin filming in October, but don't worry: with Lohan involved you expect to hear plenty more about the film before then.

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Apparently Lindsay Lohan doesn't mind being typecast. The scandal-plagued "Mean Girls" star and alleged jewel thief is looking to play a villainess in Zack Snyder's upcoming "Superman" reboot.

RadarOnline reports that the tough-as-kryptonite actress is heading to New York this week and plans to audition opposite a male actor who is being considered for the role of Lex Luthor, the Man of Steel's archenemy.

"Lindsay said she would be ecstatic to be part of the Superman movie," her pal Nathan Folks told RadarOnline. "It's a dream of hers."

Actually, playing leading lady Lois Lane was a dream of hers, according to the site, but that part went to Amy Adams so Lohan settled for the lesser, evil role. She'll reportedly read with Luthor wannabe Adam Harris, and it's believed they'll be teamed up on screen to deliver a Superman smackdown.

But Lohan—who is also said to be in talks to play slain starlet Sharon Tate in the upcoming Charles Manson biopic "Eyes of a Dreamer"—might have bigger battles ahead of her first. The superhero flick is set to begin filming in Vancouver in August—around the same time the star could find herself serving time in the pokey if she is found guilty of grand theft (she has been accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice, Calif., jewelry store).

"Superman: Man of Steel," which stars Henry Cavill as Clark Kent, and Kevin Costner and Diane Lane as his anti-Michael and Dina Lohan parents, is set to soar into theaters in December 2012.

Will Lohan be along for the ride? Stay tuned!

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UPDATE: Tyler Shields tells NextMovie exclusively, "There is a lot of truth to [this story], and I'm playing Manson!"

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Lindsay Lohan is making a smart move: don't fight the crazy life, embrace it wholeheartedly.

The embattled starlet may be gearing up for a new movie entitled "Eyes of a Dreamer," where she's set to play Sharon Tate, the former spouse of director Roman Polanski and murder victim of the followers of Charles Manson, reports TMZ.

At first glance it's the perfect prestige picture to get Lohan back on her feet. When news follows that the picture may be directed by Tyler Shields, the wild child photographer who shot a shocking set of photos in which Lohan brandishes a gun in her underwear... well, that makes the project sound a lot more insane and heck of a lot more intriguing.

As it stands, Lohan is preparing to return to court in a few months to fight off alleged claims that she stole a necklace from Kamofie & Company, a charge that has stood in the way of returns to the screen, notably in the Linda Lovelace biopic "Inferno."

While it doesn't appear Lohan's life is turning around at any rapid pace (besides impending trials, the starlet was also found face down on the pavement outside of a bar over the weekend, a moment tabloids were quick to pounce on), perhaps her collaboration with Shields is her safest and most artistically fulfilling bet. If there's anyone who can turn her colorful persona and crazed behavior into a sizzling on-screen performance, it's Shields, who would be making his directorial debut with "Dreamer."

Reports have also trickled out that Lohan has returned to New York to audition for more parts, including a bit role in the upcoming "Superman" movie, but teaming up with a reliable friend for a smaller movie may be just the ticket to get the young actress back up and running. The story of Sharon Tate is juicy material and after the dust settles from her legal battles, Lohan wil need a project to throw herself into full-force.

A comeback is a comeback, even if Charles Manson is involved.

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• CNN shows Jack Black as he presents the heartwarming birth of Po, the new Atlanta Zoo panda bear. Congratulations Po, your kung-fu training will begin with Master Shifu tomorrow at dawn.

• The kids may be all right, but the Academy sometimes isn't. Entertainment Weekly gives us the top movies that were unworthy of the Best Picture title, and the unrecognized films that should have taken their spots.

• Don't worry @LindsayLohan, @NextMovie #stilllovesyou! Buzzfeed shows us that the "Mean Girls" star isn't so popular in the Hollywood Twitter crowd. #ouch

• Rule number 33 on the Zombie Survival list: Always do a sequel. Total Film gives us Woody Harrelson's thoughts on another "Zombieland" installment.

• Superladies, it's time to get in touch with the best in feminist hero fashion. Comicsalliance gives us the new awesomely retro Wonder Women t-shirt and tote bag.

• Betty Draper is so much more than a '60s housewife: Moviefone sits down with "X-Men: First Class" star January Jones to talk about her current breakout year in film.

• This just in, print-journalism-kid's-movie fans. The New York Times reports that the cult-classic children's film "Newsies" is staging up to be adapted into a musical.

• Filmdrunk has the story behind Marlon Brando's creepy 1966 letter to an in-flight stewardess.

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TMZ has come up with some real doozies in their day, but this one takes the cake: according to a new report on the muckraking website, Lindsay Lohan is in discussions to play a "major character" in the new "Superman" reboot.

And here you thought Mr. Mxyzptlk had cornered the market on practical jokes.

Here's the whole scoop: while these unnamed sources wouldn't name the character, they did confirm that the role was not Lois Lane, which jibes with other reports that Superman's main squeeze would not be the focus of the new version starring Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel. Just who Lohan would be playing -- Supergirl? Lana Lang? Martha Kent? -- is still up in the air, but whoever it is, Lohan is said to be excited for the chance to "show people again how talented she is."

But while there's no denying Lohan's talent, there's also no denying the fact that she has squandered it to a nearly unprecedented degree. And though we're certainly routing for her to get her act together -- she's currently in the news once again, this time for allegedly stealing a necklace -- previous attempts to resuscitate her career have been torpedoed by her off-screen antics, to the point where she has been dropped from several projects in part due to reluctance on the part of studios to risk their huge budget projects on such a high profile insurance risk.

In other words, the poor girl is a mess that Warner Bros. probably doesn't want to step in.

Still, she does have one thing going for her: like Superman's other gal pals Lois Lane, Lana Lang and Lori Lemaris, Lohan does have a double-L name. So for her sake, here's hoping this seemingly preposterous rumor has a bit of truth to it.

Because at this point, Superman might be the only person that can save her.

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Lydia Hearst Shaw doesn't want any trouble.

In what's probably a very smart move, the would-be star of "Dogs in Pocketbooks," the Hollywood satire whose troubled protagonist bears more than a passing resemblance to Lindsay Lohan, has pretty much denied all knowledge of the project, according to New York Magazine.

"As for any theatrical roles, I am currently filming 'Two Jacks,' directed by Bernard Rose," the heiress recently tweeted. "My next project is 'Catwalk' by Tony Hickox. At this time I am not officially signed onto any other projects."

She's no fool, that Lydia Hearst Shaw.  She knows that when Lindsay Lohan's mom says that she's gonna sue, she definitely means it.

But wait... don't sue, Mom! "Dogs In Pocketbooks" isn't about your daughter. No way.

"It's more like it's based on some of the headlines she's generated," said screenwriter Charles Casillo to Entertainment Weekly. "The movie is a satire on the nature of celebrity today.  I originally said that the character is a composite of many young starlets today … including Lindsay Lohan. I also said it has some of the old glamor goddesses in the character, too, like Marilyn Monroe and Jean Harlow."

Yeah, well, at least you don't have to worry about Marilyn and Jean's moms slapping you with a lawsuit, Mr. Casillo.

Meanwhile, Lydia Hearst Shaw is apparently still dating Jeff Goldblum.

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Lindsay Lohan might be suing!

Let's back up for a second before we get to the really juicy stuff. First of all, Lydia Hearst Shaw, supermodel and heir to the vast Hearst publishing fortune, has landed the lead role in the dark comedy, "Dogs In Pocketbooks," according to the New York Post.

"Dogs In Pocketbooks" follows the bumbling misadventures of a hard-drinking, hard-partying celebrity and her various run-ins with the law, several failures at rehab and struggles with agents, the media and leech-like hangers-on.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Probably a little too familiar for Lohan's camp, as they're currently mulling over the possibility of suing the hell out of the thing before it begins shooting in February.  Lohan family lawyer Stephanie Ovedia thinks they have a case, according to TMZ.

"They are using her likeness without her being compensated," says Ovadia.  "Not only that, but they are advertising the fact that they are using her likeness."

Oh, this is going to be fun!

Meanwhile, Lydia Hearst Shaw is apparently dating Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, that one's a head-scratcher.

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Lindsay Lohan's fire has been put out.

Apparently, Lohan has been to enough dark places in real life and doesn't need to partake on such a journey with cameras rolling, as she's no longer attached to play adult film start Linda Lovelace in director Matthew Wilder's 'Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story.'

Lohan has been officially replaced by "Watchmen" star Malin Akerman, the director announced on his Facebook page.

"We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support," he said. "Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her — and some other issues — have made it impossible for us to go forward. We are so honored to have Malin and know that she will kill it."

This will be quite the juicy role for Akerman, who's usually known for such goofy comedies as "The Heartbreak Kid," "The Proposal," "Couples Retreat" and other movies where her co-stars usually comment on how hot she is.

Playing the used and abused "Deep Throat" star could easily be Akerman's breakout role -- and garner all sorts of attention from all sorts of industry award-givers, if not Oscar himself.

Meanwhile, Lohan is struggling once again with getting -- and staying -- clean and sober. She must remain in rehab until Jan. 3, per the terms of her probation.

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UPDATE: Director Matthew Wilder tells E! Online that they are no longer going to be working with Lindsay Lohan on the Linda Lovelace biopic, "Inferno."

"We are withdrawing our offer from Lindsay Lohan," he tells them. "Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her -- and some other issues -- have made it impossible to go forward... 

"We are currently in negotiations [with another actress] and working out the legalities of bringing her onboard."

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Lindsay Lohan's most recent drug problems may stand in the way of some much-needed career rehabilitation (if that's what you can call playing a porn star.)

For months, the actress has staked her career resurgence on a role in 'Inferno,' a biopic about the adult film sensation Linda Lovelace — and with good reason.

The director, Matthew Wilder, was one of the few men in Lohan's life who seemed to always stand by her.

Back in July, shortly after the starlet was sentenced to jail following a 2007 DUI bust, he said he was "not moving on, not re-casting, not under any circumstances." He promised, "We’re fully committed to Lindsay... she's a good actress. We'll wait."

But when Lohan failed a drug test in September, Wilder changed his tune, and admitted that he's considering other actresses who "really want the part, too." (No word on who these undoubtedly A-list talents are.)

"We have been through a lot with this project," Wilder stated. "Although [Lohan] is still our number one choice, we do have a plan B if she cannot film 'Inferno,'" AV Club recounts.

Lohan will be in court-ordered rehab at least until Jan. 3, pending no more, umm, slip-ups.

Only time will tell if she has what it takes to take on Lovelace.

(Originally published on Nov. 18, 2010, at 11:13 a.m. ET)