The 9 Least Inspirational Sports Movies
MGM
Any sport at its best can serve as a motivational metaphor for life ... while any sport at its worst can still beat the Houston Astros. And then there's boxing, which is just two people literally beating each other up for money.
But with "42" (the story of Jackie Robinson's inspirational journey to integrate the major leagues) hitting theaters April 12, we thought we'd take a moment to pay tribute to the less celebrated sports films; the ones that teach us to never try and to always give up because life is just a string of disappointments sandwiched between birth and death. Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
9 Foreign Actors Who Do the Worst American Accents
FilmDistrict
People are always complaining about how much Americans suck at doing accents, whether it's Kevin Costner as "Robin Hood" or Keanu Reeves seemingly coming off a heroin addiction in "Bram Stoker's Dracula." And we do suck sometimes, yes.
However, we want to at least even the playing field a little by pointing out some bafflingly bad American accents perpetrated by thesps from overseas. Europe and Australia may have the best acting academies and such, but not every graduate is as versatile as they should be, starting with a certain Gerard Butler from this past weekend's "Olympus Has Fallen." Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
The 9 Most Violent Movies of All Time
Lionsgate
While we recently catalogued "The Most Violent Movie Titles of All Time" we wondered to ourselves, "But what are the straight-up most violent movies?" That line of thinking led to a lot of sordid YouTube viewing and a shameful amount of personal moviegoing recollection, with this list as the meat byproduct. Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
Our 9 Favorite Christmas Movie Characters
New Line
With Christmas upon us, we thought it'd be fitting to list our nine favorite characters from holiday flicks sure to put you and your family in a merry mood. Let's face it, there’s nothing better than sitting together with the gang and getting the heartstrings tugged, and the funny bones tickled, with a glass of eggnog by your side.
On a side note: We know our list is lacking in female characters — and those of color, for that matter. But don't blame us. Blame Hollywood! Get More »
The 9 Fugliest Men in Drag (in Movies)
Throughout the ages, comedians with the sharpest of wits and highest of brows have sought to expand our minds and tickle our funny bones by strapping on fake boobs and speaking in falsetto. Sure, it might seem cheap, childish and subtly sexists, but who cares? Based on the box office receipts, we can't get enough of it!
Now Sean Penn is getting serious about dressing in drag for "This Must Be the Place" (in theaters Nov. 2). But can he activate our drag gag reflexes as thoroughly as those faux femmes from bygone days? Let's review the fugly competition.
(Originally published on Nov. 10, 2011)
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
The 9 Most Unintentionally Scary Movies
Fox Searchlight
It's happened to all of us: you go to a movie expecting a thoughtful drama or lighthearted romp. No one warned you — it was all a sick trick to expose you to a vision as bloodcurdling as any "Saw" sequel.
Two hours later, you stumble into the lobby, unsure whether it's tears or your last meal welling up. Maybe it was a disturbing truth exposed in the film that did it. Or maybe the line between surrealist daydream and psychotic nightmare was inadvertently crossed. In honor of Halloween, here's our list of top 9 movies that failed to warn us in the commercials that they'd scar us for life. Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
Scary Good: The 9 Best Horror Sequels
Paramount
Sequels are an essential part of the horror genre. Revisiting a particular horrific scenario allows us to experience new thrills in a familiar setting — when we watch a horror sequel, we're braver now that we know the world and its rules, making us feel more like participants in the terror rather than helpless victims.
Unfortunately, a good horror sequel is a rare thing. It's a daunting task to make a fresh experience out of a now-familiar world. But every once in a while, it works. And works wonders. Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
The 9 Spookiest Kids' Movies
Focus Features
It's Halloween night. Do you know what movies your children are watching?
It wouldn't be the most wonderful holiday of the year without a double- or triple-feature of scary movies to go with the tricking and treating. While there are plenty of R-rated slasher flicks to please big brother and sister in the other room, there are also a fair amount of PG-rated spookfests that provide good, clean fun (and scares!) for the under-13 crowd in the basement. Get More »
Filed Under: Features The NextMovie Nine
The 9 Best Animated Dogs in Movies
Disney
Even animated dogs can clamp onto heartstrings with an iron-toothed grip. So we totally get why young Victor Frankenstein feels compelled to raise his wagging pal from the great beyond — consequences of wrecking havoc on the town be damned — in Tim Burton's "Frankenweenie" arriving in theaters this Friday.
In fact, little stitched-up Sparky joins the pack of adorably-rendered pooches who've gotten us wishing we had our own little cartoon sidekick.
Here's a look at our nine other favorite animated barkers of all time. Get More »
Filed Under: The NextMovie Nine
Clint Eastwood's 9 Least Badass Roles
Warner Bros.
Clint Eastwood is the last, lonely representative of a mythical breed — the badass. Oh sure, there are other tough-guy actors out there (Stallone, Schwarzenegger and other assorted Expendables) but they're all a little too oiled, chiseled and ready for their Men's Health cover shoots. Eastwood is old-school; the kind of gunslinger who survived his shoot-outs not by having bigger biceps, but because he's leaner, meaner and smarter than the bad guy. Men fear his squint, not his heavy artillery or super powers. Get More »
Filed Under: The NextMovie Nine
