Citizens of Earth,
We've double-checked our slide rules and the calculations are true. Planet Fanboy will be going into deep orbit for the foreseeable future. It has been lovely beaming transmissions to you, but all things in our dark, cold, expanding universe must end. (Except packing peanuts.)
It has been a little over one of your Earth years since we first made contact, so we figured this is a good opportunity to look back at some of our brighter moments. Get More »
There are a handful of hardcore Fanboys out there who simply can't handle that “Star Wars” didn't win the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1977. That it lost out to one of the finest, most clever examples of transcendent visual storytelling, “Annie Hall,” is of no consequence. The '77 Oscar is an injustice equaled only by the destruction of Alderaan.
Here's the thing: it's okay to love both. (And to realize that “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” not being nominated that year is possibly the bigger crime.) What you may not know is that George Lucas and Woody Allen recognized there was a problem and actually tried to get a project off the ground that would bring peace to the two parties. Get More »
Clint Barton and Oliver Queen's arrows have nothing on Cupid, that obnoxious nude baby that pops up in television commercials the same time each year.
If it is your good fortune to get hit with one, you can be assured of a few absolute truths: you'll never get to watch what you want and you'll find yourself cleaning up the mess of a pet you never asked for.
If you are a male dating a female (and on Planet Fanboy, this is just one of a dozen permutations) you're gonna have to whip out the ol' Discover Obsidian Advantage Plus Card and dig deep as the calendar approaches February 14, no matter how much your beloved feigns indifference to crass, material goods. Get More »
Disney CEO Bob Iger took a break from his treasure bath to confirm rumors that, yes, in addition to a third trilogy of "Star Wars" pictures, there will be "standalone" films that will come out in between that are "derived from great 'Star Wars' characters."
When I read that last phrase I immediately thought two things. First, "great, Calculus!" Second, "Whooooooooooooooo?"
Anthony Breznican, an actual journalist, reports that the two projects that are likely to take off first are stories about Boba Fett and Han Solo. They are neither prequels or sequels. . .they are merely quels, and they ought to quell the frustrations of many a nerd who wanted to see, once and for all, just how Lando Calrissian won the Millennium Falcon. (You thought Midi-chlorians were bad? Just wait til you watch the ship that can make the Kessel run in 12 parsecs change ownership on a Queen high!) Get More »
The newest supernatural Young Adult romance adapted to film is lumbering its way to theaters this weekend. “Warm Bodies” is, however, something of “Twilight-with-a-brain” (or, excuse me, BRAINS!) and, should you find yourself dragged to see it, it is nothing you need growl at.
“Warm Bodies” stars Nicholas Hoult (probably best remembered as Beast from “X-Men: First Class” or the boy from “About A Boy,” but will forever be remembered by me as someone from the movie “Kidulthood,” a film I just learned about on imdb, produced by people clearly on the receiving end of a dare to come up with the worst film title in history) and Teresa Palmer (from hot blonde). Get More »
Years before I ever gassed up my rocket and launched to Planet Fanboy, I lived on Planet Undergrad. While there, some no-good kids with neon green hair (it was the 1990s) gave me some poisoned pizza toppings and it made the music all echoey and I walked like I just stepped out of the Mystery Machine.
As the night turned to dawn, someone slipped in a VHS tape (oy) of a movie called “Phantasm” and I swear to you it took a little bit of my sanity with it. It ends with our main character dragged through a portal to a fiery alternate universe with freakish dwarves, diabolical tall men and silver spheres that fly around and drill into peoples' heads. After that, there's this other strange scene played out where my friends are telling me to breathe into a paper bag, playing a a CD of rainwater hitting a metal roof and just repeating “chill, chill, chill.” Get More »
And so it was that the Planet Fanboy completed another revolution around its spherical gaseous furnace called "Sol" (short for Solomon) and, behold, there was another year.
It was a good one, this 2012, but 2013 looks like it might have it beat. Why's that, you ask? Because a new falafel guy just opened up a block from me. You think I'm jesting, but you haven't tasted his garlic tahini habibi sauce. Also: there are some dynamite Fanboy film properties coming down the pike. Here are the ones that, should you even consider not seeing on opening night, you'd best charter the first available shuttle to Planet Poseur. Get More »
2012 is all over and the Mayan prophecy killed us all. Luckily, we at Planet Fanboy slipped this into our system prior to the day we all died, so the cockroaches have something to read as they feast on our corpses. So pull up a seat, Scritchy and Scratchy, and learn about the year that was.
2012 opened nicely. Qui-Gon Jinn looked death in the eye and slowly let death win in "The Grey." But he did it in a very picturesque way while reciting poetry in his head, so it made for a terrific movie.
George Lucas finally let loose with his "Red Tails" project and it wasn't very good but we all got to shrug our shoulders and say "well, that is absolutely the last time George Lucas will make any news this year." Get More »
Well, you made it. It's the end of the year and time for Winter Break. You have time off from school and it's time to kick back and spend some time YOUR way. (Now, if you are out of school and happen to have one of those rare things called a job, you are absolutely, positively supposed to take the entire week between Christmas and New Year's off. If your boss didn't tell you about that, it is because it is so obvious that he just assumes that you know. You should totally just not show up, it's no big deal, trust me.)
Annoyingly, "Django Unchained" won't be out yet, and chances are you already saw "The Hobbit." Your choices are either "The Guilt Trip," "This is 40" or "Jack Reacher." Or you can chug an entire bottle of raspberry-flavored cough syrup and see "Cirque du Soliel: Worlds Away." Considering this is a sort-of plot point to the sort-of prequel to "This is 40," "Knocked Up," it's clear that this is the way to go. Get More »
Attention, people of Middle-earth, adventure is coming.
While the wait may have seemed longer than the Valian Era, "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" is a countable number of hours from opening at a theater near you. There are as many formats in which to see it as there are shards of Narsil waiting for Aragorn in Rivendell, so we have a ready made excuse to disinterested friends and spouses for our return trips. Multiple viewings, however, should not diminish the importance of that key Thursday at Midnight show.
Here, then, is the proper way to take in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" on Planet Fanboy. Get More »