There's been a long line of distinguished, accomplished men named "Zechariah" (Zac, Zach or Zack, for short) throughout the course of American history: 12th U.S. President Zachary Taylor, Most Popular Student at Bayside High Zack Morris, um…
OK, so there haven't actually been that many. But today Zac/h/ks are changing history everywhere in Hollywood. Just look at Zach Galifianakis and Zac Efron, two of the biggest stars on the planet.
With the intention of establishing who claims Zechariah Superiority – we've pitted the two against one another in a series of categories, and asked our old friend Zack Morris to provide some commentary on the debate.
Zac Efron: Zachary David Alexander Efron
Zach Galifianakis: Zacharius Knight Galifianakis
Zack Morris Says: "Well allow me to recommend Zack Morris. He's cute, warm and affectionate."
Efron: Accepted to USC, but deferred his enrollment to focus on career
Galifianakis: Attended North Carolina State, but didn't graduate
Zack Morris Says: "I like school. It's just too bad classes get in the way."
Zac Efron: Singing-and-dancing basketball player Troy Bolton in "High School Musical"
Zach Galifianakis: Socially awkward Vegas partier Alan Garner in "The Hangover"
Zack Morris Says: "I'm sorry you were stuck in a file cabinet so long."
Biggest Box Office Hit (Non-Animated)
Zac Efron: "Hairspray" ($118 million)
Zach Galifianakis: "The Hangover" ($277 million)
Zack Morris Says: "The three worst things that can happen to a kid are measles, mumps and midterms."
Zac Efron: Drew raves for his work opposite Claire Danes in romantic drama "Me and Orson Welles"
Zach Galifianakis: Got fired by George Clooney in "Up in the Air"
Zack Morris Says: "Why be a teacher when you can be a principal? It's the easiest job around, you don't do anything. Ask Belding."
Most Embarrassing Film on Resume
Zac Efron: "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"
Zach Galifianakis: Tie ("Bubble Boy" and "Corky Romano")
Zack Morris Says: "Yeah, I'm gonna be famous alright. Student Attacked by Blotchy Maroon Mob, film at 11."
Best Musical Performance in a Motion Picture
Zac Efron: "Ladies Choice," from the motion picture "Hairspray"
Zach Galifianakis: "Three Best Friends," from the motion picture "The Hangover"
Zack Morris Says: "Are you kidding? I moved better last summer when a bee flew in my shorts."
Zac Efron: SAG Awards (one nomination, no wins); MTV Movie Awards (five nominations, two wins); Teen Choice Awards (eight nominations, six wins)
Zach Galfinakis: MTV Movie Awards (three nominations, one win); Teen Choice Awards (three nominations, no wins)
Zack Morris Says: "I like school. It's a good way to kill time between weekends."
Zac Efon: Heavily gelled, wavy, angelic
Zach Galifianakis: Au naturel, flowing with manly curls
Zack Morris Says: "Every time I call her she's washing her hair. Who washes their hair six times a day?"
Zac Efron: None to speak of
Zach Galifianakis: One of the better beards in all the land
Zack Morris Says: "It's Saturday morning and we're in school, depressing isn't it? We are here to take this test called the SAT, while I'd rather be at the beach working on my T-A-N."
Zac Efron: Singing, dancing, playing guitar, playing the piano, juggling
Zach Galifianakis: Performing standup comedy, playing the piano, rapping, farming, interviewing other actors between ferns
Zack Morris Says: "Me? Run? That's like asking Roseanne Barr to skip a meal."
Zac Efron: Dated "High School Musical" co-star Vanessa Hudgens from 2005-2010
Zach Galifianakis: Currently unknown, though he used to date a woman named Watermelon who sold pot cookies and appeared on the cover of High Times magazine
Zack Morris Says: "In one word, would I use dope? Nope."
Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon
Zac Efron: 2 (Appeared in "Hairspray" with Queen Latifah, who appeared in "Beauty Shop" with Kevin Bacon)
Zach Galifianakis: 2 (Appeared in "Youth in Revolt" with Mary Kay Place, who appeared in "Starting Over" with Kevin Bacon)
Zack Morris Says: "I'm interested in a student body… [looks at Kelly's] Hers."
Zac Efron: Currently starring in "The Lucky One," in which he plays an Iraq vet returning home
Zach Galifianakis: Will be seen in this summer's political comedy "The Campaign," opposite Will Ferrell
Zack Morris Says: "Parting is such sweet sorrow… chumps."
And the winner is… Zach Galifianakis, by a score of 7-5.
Look for our next head-to-head, Zachary Quinto vs. Zach Braff (As Moderated, in Excruciating Length and Detail, by "300" Director Zack Synder) coming soon on NextMovie.com.
Originally published Nov. 8, 2010.