Ah, the YouTube comments section. An anarchist's wet dream. The 2013 Wild West. Vaunted Land of the Mouth Breathers. And the only place fit to appropriately break down this year's Oscar nominees for acting.
Indeed, no nominee is safe from the wrath of the sub-100 IQ anonymous. Best Actors and Actresses, you're up first. Step right up and be mocked by the kings of the typo!
1. DENZEL WASHINGTON, 'Flight'
(On a video for Washington's speech at the University of Pennsylvania's graduation ceremony, 2011)
Yep, it's "Remember the Titans" and nothing else for poor Denzel. Could never hold a candle to Wesley Snipes. LMAO indeed, realrocky8591!
2. DANIEL DAY-LEWIS, 'Lincoln'
(On a video of an interview with Arsenio Hall, 1990)
You said it, Mr. Vargas. I've heard the same — he's kind of like Planfield (sp), but not really.
3. BRADLEY COOPER, 'Silver Linings Playbook'
(On a video of him at "Inside the Actors Studio," re: him tearing up at the notion of him coming back to Pace, where he went to acting school)
Yeah! Get him "mgrooms55"! Show that successful person who's boss!
4. HUGH JACKMAN, 'Les Miserables'
(On a video of his behind the scenes shoot for winning People's "Sexiest Man Alive 2008)
To be fair, he's right: valet is full of millions. (I don't know what that means.)
5. JOAQUIN PHOENIX, 'The Master'
(On a video of him rapping in Miami)
Yikes! It's just a rap song, "f**kgd1," it'll be over in a minute! Guessing your rage issues will still be there, though.
1. JESSICA CHASTAIN, 'Zero Dark Thirty'
(On a video of a joint interview with Shia LaBeouf for the upcoming film, "The Nymphomaniac")
Short and sweet. Well, short.
2. JENNIFER LAWRENCE, 'Silver Linings Playbook'
(On a video of an appearance on "Chelsea Lately" last year)
moira robinson, the e.e. cummings of the youtube comments section.
3. QUVENZHANE WALLIS, 'Beasts of the Southern Wild'
(On a video of an interview with Oprah Winfrey)
Yeah, what a bitch! Who does she think she is, the first "newflava"?
4. NAOMI WATTS, 'The Impossible'
(On a video of her at "Inside the Actors Studio")
Naomi Watts owns Google. And I learned something today.
5. EMMANUELLE RIVA, 'Amour'
(On the trailer for "Amour")
There's just not that many people talking crap about Emmanuelle Riva on YouTube. But ... her movies suck, I guess?
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
1. ALAN ARKIN, 'Argo'
(On a video of his speech for winning an Oscar for "Little Miss Sunshine" in 2006)
lmao i know wut iz going on rite nOW
2. ROBERT DE NIRO, 'Silver Linings Playbook'
(On a clip from 2006's "Righteous Kill")
That's right, Robert. Creed and honor comes from creating the username "onetrashdancer" and calling Robert De Niro a bitch on YouTube. You should know that by now.
3. PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN, 'The Master'
(On a video of an interview with the UK's "George Tonight")
More like Philip Seymour OBAMMA!!
4. TOMMY LEE JONES, 'Lincoln'
(On a video of an interview for "Men in Black 3")
Other than that, though, he's a really good guy.
5. CHRISTOPH WALTZ, 'Django Unchained'
(On a video of an interview with Conan O'Brien)
Just add a "lol" to any inflammatory comment and you're gold! Everyone who reads NextMovie sucks lol.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
1. AMY ADAMS, 'The Master'
(On a video of a clip from her film, "Drop Dead Gorgeous")
I know, Sven, what happened to her? She really let herself go (to the Oscars as a nominee for like the 384th straight year).
2. SALLY FIELD, 'Lincoln'
(On a video of her Oscar speech for "Places in the Heart")
Jim Bean sounds like a really lovely dinner date and also a person who can't spell "actress."
3. ANNE HATHAWAY, 'Les Miserables'
(On a video of an interview with Matt Lauer from earlier this month)
I so know what you mean, Honey Badger. Ugh, so moving on to Helen Hunt right now ...
4. HELEN HUNT, 'The Sessions'
(On a video of an interview on "Ellen")
"Halen Hunt" sounds like something David Lee Roth would have organized in the mid-'80s. And neither Halen nor Helen were in "Flight Plan," bemyown007.
5. JACKI WEAVER, 'Silver Linings Playbook'
(On a video of an interview regarding her nomination for "Animal Kingdom" two years ago)
Even the YouTube comments section needs a champion! Jacki Weaver, woman of the (half-witted) people.