trending »

The 1st Annual 'Twilight' Academy Awards

Robert Pattinson at the Oscars
Getty Images

The Academy Awards have to attract young viewers to remain the biggest awards show. That's why they expanded the Best Picture category to 10 nominees, allowing more populist films to be included.

They've also started a huge social networking push, announcing recently that the ceremony will be streaming live online, and named the unlikely young duo of Anne Hathaway and James Franco as co-hosts.

This is all costing the Academy a pretty penny, during a time when movie ticket sales are down. However, all they really need to attract younger viewers is "The Twilight Saga."

I am not suggesting that the prestigious awards show should tarnish its reputation by including "Twilight" nominees in undeserved categories. Most reasonable Twi-Hards are willing to admit Robert Pattinson's performance as Edward doesn't quite match up to Colin Firth in "The King's Speech" or James Franco in "127 Hours."

What I am suggesting, simply, is they add some categories where "Twilight" will be a lock.

Dakota Fanning in Eclipse
Summit

Young folks love vampires and wizards and supernatural storylines. However, with the current Academy's taste and categories, those films are rarely nominated outside of snoozefest categories like Best Makeup or Best Visual Effects (no offense, makeup people and visual effect dudes). The Academy has added categories in the past like Best Animated Feature Film. Why not a few more?

In a selfless effort to help the film industry, I am listing suggestions for new categories and what movies and actors would have been nominated had the awards been included this year. Members of the Academy should note that these not only allow "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" to be nominated multiple times, but also other popular movies like "Paranormal Activity 2" and "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1."

Most of my suggestions are fairly self-explanatory. Obviously, to be considered for Best Supernatural Feature Film, there would have to be supernatural elements in the movie. Others may not seem as clear-cut.

Best Performance In A Supernatural Redemption Role is where a supernatural character does something wrong, but makes up for it by doing something right. Jasper Hale almost ate Bella, and then protected her by training the Cullens and the wolf pack to fight newborn vampires.

Best Supernatural Feature Film

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
"Let Me In"
"The Wolfman"
"The Last Exorcism"

WINNER: "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"

Best Supernatural Sequel

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
"Paranormal Activity 2"
"Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1"
"Toy Story 3"

WINNER:
"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"

Best Vampire Performance In A Leading Role

Robert Pattinson in "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
Ethan Hawke in "Daybreakers"
Jessica Pare in "Suck"
Chloe Moretz in "Let Me In"

WINNER: Robert Pattinson

Best Non-Vampire Performance In A Leading Supernatural Role

Taylor Lautner in "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
Anthony Hopkins in "The Wolfman"
Jackie Earle Haley in "A Nightmare on Elm Street"
Daniel Radcliffe in "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1"

WINNER: Taylor Lautner

Best Human Performance In A Supernatural Film

Kristen Stewart in "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
Corey Feldman in "Lost Boys: The Thirst"
Timothy Olphant in "The Crazies"
Dave Foley in "Suck"

WINNER: Kristen Stewart

Creepiest Supernatural Performance

Dakota Fanning in "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
Ashley Bell in "The Last Exorcism"
Dimitri Coats in "Suck"
Ken Jeong in "Vampires Suck"

WINNER: Dakota Fanning

Best Performance In A Supernatural Redemption Role

Jackson Rathbone in "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
Benicio Del Toro in "The Wolfman"
Jamison Newlander in "Lost Boys: The Thirst"
Willem Dafoe in "Daybreakers"

WINNER: The Bone

Best Use Of CGI For Monsters

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
"Let Me In"
"Resident Evil: Afterlife"
"Piranha 3-D"

WINNER: "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"

Best Use Of Colon In Film Title

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
"Prince of Persia: Sands of Time"
"TRON: Legacy"
"Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps"

WINNER: "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"

And that's the show. Thanks for tuning in folks!

Parting Note: While I'm very happy with my position as resident (Male) Twi-Hard at NextMovie, I will entertain offers to become a new Oscars consultant for the Academy Awards (however my demands will include a private "Twilight" screening room and a job title that includes the word "vampire").

Confessions of a (Male) Twi-Hard is a “Twilight” humor column by Ryan McKee that publishes every other week on NextMovie. Read Ryan’s introductory post here or follow him on Twitter.

Related Stories

  • back
  • close

Most Popular Videos

Get More »

Also Check Out

More from MTV Networks
2010 - 2014 MTV Networks, and ™ MTV Networks. All Rights Reserved.