We swear on Davy Jones' locker, we're bigger fans of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise than anyone. But some of ye scalawags are freaking us out with your intense fandom.
We appreciate a good tattoo -- be it a classic anchor, the ol' skull and crossbones or...maybe another classic anchor. But a few of the "Pirates"-themed tats we're seeing around the internet are on stranger tides, if you catch our drift. Here are some of the most amazing "Pirates of the Caribbean" ink jobs. Beware, all who venture forth...
Armed With Jack Sparrow
If ye be lovin' Johnny Depp so much, ye might as well place his effigy somewhere on your body where you can barely see him. Of course, every guy who ever meets you will see nothin' but Johnny's handsome mug. This be a great way to announce to all future male suitors that they'd better be great at playing second fiddle.
This tattoo be getting... one yarr.
Davy Jones Has Got This Guy's Back
We think this vertical composition uses enough rich colors and vivid imagery of both Davy Jones and the Caribbean to grab the eye and never let go! If one absolutely needs a drawing of a squid man on one's self, this be the route... as long as this landlubber keeps shaving his back every fortnight.
Jack Sparrow and...Kate Winslet?
It is just us or... does that Keira Knightley tattoo be sprouting hair that's really, really blonde, for some reason? And also looks nothing like Keira Knightley?
Two yarrs. We be harsh critics of the arts.
I Starred in One of the Highest Grossing Films of All Time and All I Got Was This Tattoo
In honor of the character that made him 20 zillion dollars in box office booty, Depp got himself a "Pirates of the Caribbean" tattoo with the word "Jack" and a drawing of some sort of bird that isn't a parrot. Be there a hidden message to this here drawing? We're still working on its curious symbolism.
Two yarrs. It would have been three if there'd been a parrot.
Tia Dalma's Face?
Shiver our timbers! Now there be a tattoo worth its weight in gold. This rendering of the fair lady pirate might have stretched her forehead as high as the mast of a British schooner, but she still be a fine ornament to any man's hide.
Four yarrs and a yo ho ho!
Jack Sparrow... Sort Of
Blow us down! Why is it that every rendering of Johnny D. be lookin' like a transvestite wearing a Jack Sparrow Halloween costume?
One yarr for accuracy... But another two for sauciness.
I See an Arm and I Want to Paint It Keith Richards
Even we pirates, who pride ourselves on leathery skin that's cured by the salty air and dried by the scorching sun, felt that casting Keith Richards as one of us was a bit harsh.
The good news is that the older and flabbier this guy's arm gets, the more realistic the tattoo's effect will be.
The Classic Jolly Roger
Finally, a nice, normal tattoo you can bring home to momma after a long voyage at sea.
It's clean, it's classy, it doesn't feature an actor's malformed face.
We give it four long yaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrs...
Give a Hand to Davy Jones
Nothing at a job interview declares "This guy's a winner!" like a squid man's face covering your entire hand.
This is a tattoo built for success, just as long as you wont be interacting with any live people -- ever -- because they will rightly fear the rage issues you are most certainly coping with.
Yarr, not a good idea.
Finally! A Masculine Johnny Depp!
Now this is a Jack Sparrow with a manly edge. He's not smirking or biting his pinky! He's looking off at the horizon like a real pirate, thinking about the innocent family he's going to kill for their meager possessions.
This Leg's Got Them Pegged
Avast ye, movie lovers! This landlubber just got his sea legs -- well, leg. If ye decide to be a walking commercial for a movie franchise, this be the way to go
Five yarrs and a swig of whiskey!