Shakespeare sure knew how to talk to the ladies. How else would you let a woman know how tender your ass is by the way the hairs tickle it?
Yep, surprise, dude wrote that. You probably just didn't quite catch it through all the thees and thous.
The romance (complete with sneaky backdoor sex jokes) lives on with the newest adaptation of "Romeo and Juliet," in theaters this Friday. The movie, of course, tells the classic tragic tale of two star-crossed lovers who end up taking their lives in the name of love due to their feuding families.
However, this latest adaptation, which stars Douglas Booth and Hailee Steinfeld, won't be your typical Shakespearean take: The traditional dialogue that we read in his original plays won't be used (so much for a classic "Shakespearean experience") and the movie wasn't shot in the story's original setting of Verona, Italy. We just wonder if all of that old fashioned dirty humor translates to the modern day.
Don't believe us? To prove that ol' Will Shakespeare isn't all ruffled collars and iambic pentameter, we rounded up the naughtiest turns of phrase to ever drip from the Bard's quill and collected them in the above mashup. Thou enjoyest!