Would you venture out into a creepy-ass cabin in the woods where some masked loon is said to roam the place and murder people exactly like you all the time with a machete on Halloween? And even if you did (which you totally would not) would you then go on to trek into some dark, damp, dusty basement and start reading off foreign chants from a book made of skin or fiddling with dangerous little knickknacks or summoning up the beyond with a board game?
"Eff to the no" is the only correct answer to the above because common sense dictates that absolutely no humanoid in their right mind would ever put themselves into these creepy crawly little situations horror movie victims seem to.
So, kudos to this video, aptly called "Hell No: The Sensible Horror Film," which finally sets the record straight on some of the most ridiculous conventions of the thriller genre and lets the would-be-dead-ites get it right for once.
'Cause you'd definitely turn the car around if you rolled up on a grungy, tetanus-riddled place like Camp Crystal Lake, Right? Also, you would pass up the unlikely opportunity to sneak into some old graveyard at night to play Ouija with the "cool kids," and not to mention you'd easily resist the siren song of some video said to bring its watchers instant death.
And, of course, you'd just never do this ...
With some horror situations, people have flat-out got no chance. Like if there's some demon spirit taking over a little girl's body or a man's kid is actually the devil's offspring which got baby-swapped at the hospital or if some whacked out nut job is just hellbent on murdering a lady in her sleep, well, it is what it is.
However, a lot of these movies expect viewers to dumb down our expectations from characters, and as this video proves, that just won't do anymore. Get it together, scary movies. We've got you figured out.