Last year, we (and everyone else in Hollywood) mistakenly thought Ricky Gervais would never be asked to host an awards show – much less the actual Golden Globes – again. But the Hollywood Foreign Press Association proved they could take a joke by inviting the sharp-tongued Englishman back for a repeat performance.
But Gervais was slightly kinder and gentler this time around, taking a rather laissez faire attitude toward the Globes. He'd pop up for extended bits one moment and then stick to just announcing the next – usually with a drink in hand.
Although there weren't any huge upsets or disappointments (except for perhaps Madonna, who managed to be both unfunny and unappealing both times she went on stage), we still had plenty of Best and Worst moments to remember the night by until next year.
BEST: Ricky Gervais Goes After "The Tourist" AGAIN
After laying into Johnny Depp last year for his forgettable (yet nominated) thriller "The Tourist," Gervais once again introduced Depp as the first presenter of the show, calling him "The man who will wear literally anything Tim Burton tells him to." This year, Gervais ribbed Depp by asking him, "First of all, I wanna ask you a question. It's real… and be honest: Are you on recreational drugs? I'm joking. Have you… Ready? Have you seen 'The Tourist' yet?" To which Depp replied: "Um, no." Depp stalked off after Gervais for a second before saying "He's fun."
WORST: Epic TelePrompTer Fail
An orangey Rob Lowe and the lovely Julianne Moore were in the middle of introducing Miss Golden Globes – Andie McDowell's daughter Rainey Qualley – when an apparent stall of the TelePrompTer prompted the actors to vamp awkwardly until someone shoved a script into Julianne's hand. Lowe tried to salvage the moment by complimenting Moore's "cold reading" skills. "When was the last time you did a cold reading in front of Steven Spielberg?" he joked.
Also Check Out: 2012 Golden Globes: The Results!
BEST: Seth Rogen Presents With Kate Beckinsale
The comedy star was overcome with joy at getting to present with the "Underworld" beauty – as any self-respecting geek would. "Hello, I'm Seth Rogen, and I'm currently trying to conceal a massive erection," he said, making Kate blush and start laughing so much she could barely get out her lines. The giggles finally subsided when Michelle Williams (who coincidentally plays Rogen's wife in the upcoming "Take This Waltz") got on stage to accept her award.
WORST: "Target Demo" Audience Shots
The Golden Globe producers made some obnoxious reaction-shot choices throughout the show. The most manipulative decision? The fact the camera zoomed in to the same handful of African Americans in the audience every time a black actor was mentioned or shown. Winners Idris Elba, Octavia Spencer, and Morgan Freeman, as well as honorees and presenters like Sidney Poitier, Viola Davis and Queen Latifah were particularly singled out; it was as if someone behind-the-scenes seemed to shout "Show a black person!" whenever a black star took the stage.
BEST: Michelle Williams' Touching Acceptance Speech
The always soft-spoken "My Week With Marilyn" actress gave the night's first touching speech, calling herself a "mother first and an actress second" and thanking her biggest inspiration, her little girl Matilda. "Thank you … for suffering through six months of bedtime stories where all the princesses were read aloud in a Marilyn Monroe-sounding voice," Williams said. After acknowledging her "Marilyn" crew and her best friend Busy Phillipps, Williams expressed her gratitude to the Hollywood Foreign Press for honoring her with the same award Monroe herself won over 50 years ago. What a class act.
BEST: Felicity & William H.'s Best Supporting Actress Song
While many of the night's presenters either seemed ill prepared, bored, or aroused, married thespians Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy (a.k.a. Filliam H. Muffman) nailed their introduction – a short little jingle that went like this: "These actresses did stunning work, heartbreaking, true and bold. Though four will go home empty-handed, one will take home gold. Don't be humiliated, cause you all did a terrific job. It's an honor to be nominated [insert pause to give each other a withering look] blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."
Also Check Out: MTV on the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes
BEST: Morgan Freeman's Career Montage
Don't judge us if we had to reach for a couple of tissues during the Cecil B. DeMille Award montage to Morgan Freeman. What a fabulous reminder that the actor with the resonant voice has played everything from a slave to the presidents to Nelson Mandela to God. The best part of Freeman's acceptance speech was when he recognized what fun his career has been: "It's been said if you do what you love, you'll never a work a day in your life, and if that's the case, for the past 45 years or so, I've never had to work, because my passion in life has always been acting."
BEST: Jean Dujardin's Acceptance Speech
If you've seen "The Artist," you know that the charismatic lead actor, Frenchman Jean Dujardin, is a joy to watch, and he was equally as charming winning his first Golden Globe. "When I was starting out, an agent said to me: 'You'll never do movies. Your face is too expressive, too big.' It's not my fault, my eyebrows are independent," he quipped. "So I want to thank him for letting me prove him wrong." At the end of his sweet and sunny speech, he said: "And as Douglas would say…" and proceeded to mime a few words. C'est magnifique!
BEST: Ricky Gervais and Colin Firth Trading Insults
In one of his funniest exchanges of the night, Gervais decided to share a little known secret about his fellow Englishman, Colin Firth. After ridiculing the fact Firth is a critical darling, an Oscar winner, and a sex symbol ("I don't see it"), Gervais told the audience that Firth is actually "very racist, really nasty" and that he once punched a "little blind kitten." When "the Evil Colin Firth" got to the microphone (after playfully kicking Gervais), he commented: "As I was on my way in, I noticed some angry religious people outside with big placards threatening us all with brimstone, pestilence and perdition for our sins. What they don't realize is we have Ricky!" Amen.
We're not sure what was worse: the one-gloved Material Girl winning Best Song for a single from her directorial debut (a vanity project that's so awful, one critic called it a "simpering folly"); her ridiculously pretentious introduction to the Best Foreign Film award (really, Madge, you've always loved Truffaut and Fellini, even as a little girl in Detroit?); or her lame comeback to Ricky Gervais' "Like a Virgin" joke. Her win and her presence seemed like a prime example of the HFPA's penchant for brownnosing their favorite stars.
BEST: George Clooney wins Best Actor, Makes Penis Joke
Actors should have George Clooney on retainer to help them with their acceptance speeches. After "Iron Lady" winner Meryl Streep thanked many of her fellow nominees and favorite actresses, the quick-witted Clooney followed with a similarly appreciative speech. First, the "Descendants" star gave a shout-out to his close pal Brad Pitt for doing God's work around the world ("I'm a fan," he told Pitt), and then he thanked "Shame" star Michael Fassbender for what God gave him: "Michael, honestly, you can play golf like this with your hands behind your back. Go for it man, Do it!" 'Twas a good night for poop and penis jokes.