Edward vs. Jacob may be one of the great battles of our time, but what happens when you throw Charlie Swan into the mix?
Welcome to our "Twilight" guys edition of Eff, Marry, Kill.
This game goes exactly how you think it does. We want you to determine which actor — Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner or Billy Burke — you'd like to spend the rest of your days with, whose days you'd like to end for good and which one you'd enjoy (or suffer through, as the case may be) spending one single night with.
Because such decisions are so difficult, we've asked a few of our buds to weigh in. Hit the poll below and hear thoughts from our experts underneath. And don't forget to give us your thoughts in the comments!
Amanda Bell, Editor, Twilight Examiner
This is an easy one for me. Much as I love Charlie Swan and his cop 'stache, he'd be the one to get the ax. His cluelessness just makes him vulnerable and in the way — he's that guy who asks way too many questions. I'll admit to some ick factor bias on this one, though, since my dad and brother are cops. As for Jacob, I'll go with eff. He's got the abs and could warm up my ever-frigid toes with his high wolf body temp. I couldn't stay with him too long, though, because there'd always be the chance he'd imprint on some other chick or, worse, lose his cool and let his claws get too close. Edward the eternal gets the obvious marry bid, since he's got the ageless beauty factor and the offer of immortality going on. Plus, he'd be the guy to recite grand poetry, play the piano and wake a girl from bad dreams. Uh huh. Definitely marriage material.
Amy Wilkinson, Editor, MTV's Hollywood Crush
"Kill" is always the easiest category for me. I swear I'm not deranged. But what I am is tall — like, card-carrying member of the Vertically Gifted Ladyfolk of America tall, which means Taylor Lautner is out. We'd never see eye to eye. (Plus, I've always been an avowed Edward Cullen apologist, anyway.) I would marry Robert Pattinson if for no other reason than the hair genes. Our kids would have the best coifs on two continents! They'd star in Vidal Sassoon commercials and support us after Robert retires at the age of 35. Which leaves Billy Burke for my bedtime buddy. As a still-foxy 40-something, Billy must have plenty of germane experience. Like, don't you get the feeling he knows a thing or two? If that mustache could talk…
Breanne L. Heldman, Senior Editor, NextMovie
I can already feel the tomatoes about to be thrown at me but I'm killing Robert Pattinson. That's right. He's a goner. If he showered every once in awhile, I might consider it, but even then. The clothes, the dirty hair, the brooding looks — they do nothing for me. In contrast, I really like muscles, so Taylor Lautner, you and I are about to have a night you'll never forget. Which leaves that dreamy dad, Billy Burke. Sure, he gets in the way like Amanda said and I'm not so into facial hair, but there's just something about ol' Charlie Swan. He's a charmer, and his low-maintenance ways mean I can steer that ship and he'd be an easy First Mate.
Now it's your turn! Vote in our poll and give us your thoughts in the comments.