There are no two comedic stars who are as serious about comedy as Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy, and no two actors who have starred in such a bounty of diverse blockbusters. Murphy, his mouth spouting jokes at breakneck speed, is a natural foil for Stiller, who's at his best when shown struggling to comprehend the intentions of a stronger willed costar.
Lucky for us, the yin-and-yang pair (no, not because one's white and one's black -- we mean in temperament!) is about to collide in "Tower Heist." And, as a pre-game show, we're throwing this vertically challenged duo in the ring to battle it out. So let's get ready to rumble ... and/or read quietly to ourselves!
Full Name
Eddie Murphy: Edward Regan Murphy
Ben Stiller: Benjamin Edward Stiller
Advantage: Stiller. By co-opting Eddie's name as his own middle name, Stiller dominates Murphy in truly humiliating fashion. Genius.
Hometown
Eddie Murphy: Brooklyn, NY
Ben Stiller: New York, NY
Advantage: Tie.
Height
Eddie Murphy: 5'9''
Ben Stiller: 5'7''
Advantage: Stiller (short = funny)
Physique
Eddie Murphy: Fairly cut
Ben Stiller: Very cut
Advantage: Neither. Isn't it enough you guys are funny? Stop trying to look good.
Funniest Family Member
Eddie Murphy: Brother, Charlie Murphy, recounted his '80s encounters with Rick James, resulting in the best "Chappelle Show" skit of all time. If you haven't seen it, see it.
Ben Stiller: Father, Jerry Stiller, played George's spastically insane father on "Seinfeld."
Advantage: Tie. Who'd want to live in an America lacking either of these national treasures?
Big Break
Eddie Murphy: Made a splash on "SNL" from 1980 to 1984, playing quotable characters such as: grown-up Buckwheat, surly Gumby, and the extremely "urban" Mr. Robinson in the ghetto version of "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood."
Ben Stiller: Starred in the critically acclaimed "The Ben Stiller Show," which first failed on MTV and then failed for another season on Fox. Besides rocking a menagerie of hilarious characters, the show also launched the careers of Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk and ... Andy Dick.
Advantage: Murphy (who told you to launch Andy Dick's career, Stiller?)
Also Check Out: Case the Joint With 6 "Tower Heist" Clips
Biggest Box Office
Eddie Murphy: "Shrek the Third" earned $322,719,944 in theaters.
Ben Stiller: "Meet the Fockers" earned a paltry $279,261,160 in theaters.
Advantage: Murphy, who is currently the second-highest grossing actor in Hollywood.
Biggest Box Office Bomb
Eddie Murphy: "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" with a production budget of $110 million and a box office take of $7 million.
Ben Stiller: "Envy" with a production budget of $40 million and a box office take of $13 million.
Advantage: Murphy. With one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, Eddie took a wildly wrong turn following his hero, Bill Cosby, down the "Leonard Part 6" career path.
Best Animated Character Voice
Eddie Murphy: Donkey, in the "Shrek" films.
Ben Stiller: Alex, in the "Madagascar" films.
Advantage: Murphy. Who's ever heard of a beloved animated character named "Alex"?
Who's Blacker?
Eddie Murphy: Is black.
Ben Stiller: Not black.
Advantage: Murphy.
Who's Jewisher?
Eddie Murphy: Not Jewish.
Ben Stiller: Is Jewish.
Advantage: Stiller.
Maximum Characters Played in One Scene
Eddie Murphy: 5 (Sherman, Papa, Mama, Grandma and Ernie in "The Nutty Professor")
Ben Stiller: 1 (in every movie he's been in)
Advantage: Murphy, who seems to be the only one even trying to win this category.
Also Check Out: 5 Questions With "Tower Heist" Director Brett Ratner
Better at Identifying Transvestite Prostitutes
Eddie Murphy: In 1997, was pulled over by police for picking up a prostitute at 4:45 a.m. on Santa Monica Boulevard to "give her a ride home." He was shocked to learn that his passenger was not only a hooker, but also a man, giving him a real disadvantage in this category.
Ben Stiller: To this day, has been deftly perceptive at identifying transvestite prostitutes and, as a result, has yet to be pulled over by the police for picking up said transvestite prostitutes.
Advantage: Stiller
And the Winner Is ...
And the winner of this extremely scientifically judged bout between two comic heavyweights (and physical featherweights) is:
Eddy Murphy!
Sorry, Ben. You just haven't reached the highest highs and lowest lows Eddie has climbed and then fallen down from. But we know you have a "Pluto Nash" and a humiliating sexual encounter in your future, so reach for the heavens!
