If there are two things every red-blooded American loves more than anything else, they're Abraham Lincoln and movies about vampires. So it's only fitting that on the eve of Valentine's Day, director Timur Bekmambetov has issued the first trailer for his love letter to America, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."
And no offense to George Washington, but chopping down a cherry tree looks pretty lame compared to what you're about to see Abe do with his axe.
The story in a nutshell: When a young Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) discovers his mother was killed by vampires, he becomes a fearless vampire killer. But his quest for personal revenge takes on larger implications when the vampires decide to try to overthrow America by instigating the Civil War. Can even the nation's top vampire hunter stop them?
Based on our history lessons, we're guessing the answer is yes (spoilers!), but then again, our study guide never mentioned Nosferatu. So check out the trailer yourself, courtesy of Time Magazine -- and see why our 16th president is about to become our number one blockbuster badass: