No, bare butts weren't droppin' from the ceiling, Tom Cruise wasn't in the house as Tom Cruise or Les Grossman, and, by usual Jim Carrey MTV Movie Awards standards, Carrey's video suit was actually pretty tame (even with the copulating pooches).
This year's MTV Movie Awards were instead all about the "Twilight" stars, from Robert Pattinson's F-bomb and lip lock with his co-star (and not the one you're thinking of) to RPattz's giggly presentation to Reese Witherspoon and "Twilight's" near-sweep of the big Movie Awards categories.
Good thing host Jason Sudeikis was there to remind viewers that there were plenty of other movie stars in the A-list audience to poke fun at – which he did.
Jason Sudeikis' Hangover
Mike Tyson, a tiger, a monkey and a wild face tattoo, or Taylor Lautner, a spray-painted swan, Eva Mendes and, well, a wild face tattoo ... who had the better hangover, the "Hangover" movie crew or Movie Awards host Jason Sudeikis in his show-opening "Hangover" spoof? We'll give the slight edge to Sudeikis, if only because he made a Justin Timberlake "Bye, Bye, Bye" joke that should not have been as funny as it was.
Are his fellow celebs going to be calling for his head on a platter tomorrow morning? Nah, but host Sudeikis still got in his fair share of quips at stars' expenses during his opening monologue, including multiple Arnold Schwarzenegger digs, multiple bits about "Twilight" fans, an observation about ubiquitous couple Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez ("Sweetie, you've been liplocked with that Bieber kid for like a month straight") and a knock at Justin Timberlake ("This year we learned that Justin Timberlake is a true triple threat: he's a singer, he's a dancer and he's a singer").
The one that drew the biggest "ooooohhhhhh!" from the audience? This gem about Ashton Kutcher and his new "Two and a Half Men" gig: "Congratulations on your new job ... he's doing what he does best: replacing an older celebrity."
"Friends with Benefits" stars Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis wasted no time trashing the persistent rumors that they took the title of their upcoming flick to heart off-camera when they presented the Best Male Performance award. Of course, they also sparked a whole new round when he grabbed her breasts and she grabbed his... well, let's just say the New York Post used to refer to him as Justin Trousersnake.
Wait ... Is It Hump Day?
Jim Carrey had promised he was going to wear a cutting edge outfit to the Movie Awards, and that is exactly how we'd describe the video suit he wearing to introduce the Foo Fighters' performance. Yes, a video suit ... a suit onto which videos were projected, including an oft-repeated clip of two dogs gettin' the freak on.
Aziz Ansari was so committed to his knock-off Jaden Smith-as-"Karate Kid" costume, complete with uniform and fake braids, that we wanna see more. C'mon Aziz ... "Karate Man" sounds like a potential Funny or Die classic.
It's Funny Because It's True
"Welcome back to the 73rd re-broadcast of the 2011 MTV Movie Awards," said Jason Sudeikis, only slightly exaggerating about the many times that quote will be replayed on the network this week.
They Finally Kissed!
No, not Best Kiss winners Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Robert Pattinson and his other "Twilight" co-star, Taylor Lautner. Did we just witness the start of a new movement? Team Edward + Jacob?
The Gong Show
Getting Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl to hit the gong during your movie-themed song medley? Nice work, Jason Sudeikis. "Who knew he could play percussion? He can do anything," the host quipped of the Foo founder and Nirvana drummer.
And the Award for Best Performance by a Phallic Laser Light Goes to...
The phallic laser light hidden in Steve-O's seat as he and presenter Ryan Reynolds bantered about Donald Trump, a white stallion and baby powder -- or something like that -- which, sadly, did not deflate Steve-O's "laser boner."
Cutest. Acceptance Speech. Ever.
That would be "Grown Ups" cutie Alexys Nycole Sanchez, who repeated her "I want to get chocolate wasted" quote when she accepted her Movie Award for Best Line From a Movie. We still feel really bad that she had to witness "laser boners" though. And that her mom is going to have to explain it to her.
Whuuut Did He Do to Reese Witherspoon?
Robert Pattinson, droppin' the uncensored F-bomb while presenting Reese Witherspoon's Generation Award, being all awkward and goofy, smooching his Team Edward vs. Team Jacob rival... not sure at which point the MTV Movie Awards became "The RPatzz Show," but it definitely did.
Oh No He Di'int!
Was that a joke about potentially being a dad that Jason Sudeikis dropped while presenting an award with fellow "Horrible Bosses" stars Charlie Day and Jason Bateman?! Yes it was, which was a delightfully cheeky move for a guy who's still sorta kinda on the list of possible babydaddies of Sudeikis' preggers ex, January Jones.
Is there an award the "Twilight" crew didn't win? Yes, but not many. In a big payoff for the many 16-year-olds watching the Movie Awards (and their kids, as Jason Sudeikis joked earlier in reference to MTV hits "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom"), RPattz and company won Best Movie, Best Female Performance, Best Male Performance, Best Kiss and Best Fight.
And then of course there was Pattison's F-bomb, which seemed to delight the Twitterverse more than any award.