Warner Bros.

WARNING: SPOILERS GALORE.

By not simply rolling to "The End," "They all lived happily ever after," etc. after Frodo made a three-pointer chucking The One Ring into Mount Doom, Peter Jackson set a pretty bad precedent in "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." Every time it seemed like all was well and we were fading to credits, another five-minute scene would roll in. Toss in a few Oscars and you've got a bunch of blockbuster directors wanting to add 20 endings to their genre films, too.

With "Man of Steel" currently keeping people from validating their parking for way longer than they should, let's take a look at five recent flicks that just kept going and going and going ...

'The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo' (2011)

Sony

Ending #1: Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) discovers the killer was Martin (Stellan Skarsgård), goes to his house and is almost murderized by the dude, but Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) saves the day. Salander chases Martin on her motorcycle, but his Swedish SUV winds up engulfed in flames like so much IKEA furniture. *Crowd Cheers*
Ending #2: Blomkvist deduces that the murdered Harriet's cousin Anita (Joely Richardson) is actually Harriet herself, long-hidden after she murdered her molester father. Harriet tearfully reunites with her Uncle Henrik (Christopher Plummer) after 40 years. All right.
Ending #3: Salander digs up dirt on Blomkvist's enemy Wennerström (Ulf Friberg), who flees the country, then she goes to Switzerland to get all the dude's money and (probably) kills him. She returns to Blomkvist only to find him shacked up with his girlfriend, and she rides away on her bike all pissed. Yay?
Was That Really Necessary? No, straight up no way. Stieg Larsson's story overstays its welcome by wrapping up every loose end in extensive detail long after we stopped caring. The original Swedish adaptation with Noomi Rapace went on even longer, something like 40 more minutes after the killer is done away with.

'Captain America: The First Avenger' (2011)

Marvel

Ending #1: After defeating Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) pilots the massive HYDRA ship into the drink. Heartbroken, Peggy (Hayley Atwell) files him as MIA, and his legend lives on in the hearts of all freedom-loving Americans.
Ending #2: Rogers wakes up in a hospital room made to look like the '40s but is actually present day. He realizes something's up, punches his way through a few walls and winds up in the middle of modern-day Times Square. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) quickly briefs him about his long coma, and Rogers realizes despondently that he missed his date with Carter by about 70 years.
Ending #3: In a post-credits sequence Fury approaches Rogers with a new mission, a scene which quickly turns into a montage trailer for "The Avengers."
Was That Really Necessary? In terms of the corporate synergy involved in making a Marvel movie it was, but narratively all these other endings do is set up the next entry in the franchise long after the story at hand had been wrapped up tidily. There were rumors that Joe Johnston didn't even direct the final scene with Fury and Rogers, and if they were just making one satisfying stand-alone movie it could have ended right after the V-E Day celebrations.

'The Dark Knight Rises' (2012)

Warner Bros.

Ending #1: With only minutes left on the ticking clock, Batman (Christian Bale) pilots the megabomb in his Bat-Copter, or whatever that thing was called, over the ocean where it detonates in a giant mushroom cloud. Whoa, Batman is freakin' dead, dude! AWESOME!
Ending #2: We see a statue erected in Batman's memory in Gotham City Hall, with Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) giving a moving eulogy to his dead friend. At the private funeral of Bruce Wayne, only Gordon, John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Alfred (Michael Caine) mourn him, especially his faithful butler who tried to keep him from harm.
Ending #3: LuciusFox (Morgan Freeman) discovers that Wayne had actually fixed the autopilot on his Bat-plane-thingy, so he could have ejected (although how he escaped the nuclear fallout in time is beyond us). Gordon finds the Bat-Signal restored. We see Alfred in Italy where he spots an alive-and-happy Bruce Wayne enjoying the sweet life with former cat-lady Selena Kyle (Anne Hathaway). Turns out Blake has inherited some of Wayne's property, specifically the Bat Cave, and he will (probably) take up the mantle and start crusading with a cape.
Was That Really Necessary? Yes. For all the weird lapses in logic this sequel lazily resorted to (you can fix a broken back by punching it?), it was all worth it to get to this incredibly satisfying finale that enforces the notion of Batman as an ideal more than a single person.

'Iron Man Three' (2013)

Marvel

Ending #1: With the help of Rhodey, an army of autonomous suits and Super Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow), Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) saves the President and defeats genetically-enhanced Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce), who is revealed to be The Mandarin and perhaps the mastermind behind all of Stark's troubles these last three movies. Hooray!!! … wait, what?
Ending #2: Okay … (*deep breath*) JARVIS destroys all of Tony's suits as an act of good will towards Pepper, then she gets surgery to stabilize her Extremis enhancements, then Tony gets surgery to remove the shrapnel from his heart, throws his chest arc reactor into the ocean and moves out of his wrecked Malibu Point mansion, summing all that up by saying "I am Iron Man" again.
Ending #3: In another Merry Marvel post-credits scene we discover that Stark was telling this whole story to Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), who had been asleep the whole time.
Was That Really Necessary? Yikes. Here we have director Shane Black (and undoubtedly a legion of other cooks in the kitchen including Robert Downey Jr.) force-feeding us a ton of really important events in Tony's life via something like a minute of screen time. Did we need to dwell on these things longer to get the point? Hell no. Did they need to happen right after the elation of the final battle? Probably not. The stinger with Ruffalo is a piece of utter fan wankery, but a welcome one … Science Bros 4-EV-R!!!

'Man of Steel' (2013)

Warner Bros.

Ending #1: After Superman's lengthy attempt to put a cork in the World Engine's tailpipe on the other side of the planet, Lois Lane and company fire the super missile at Zod's ship, sending all its inhabitants back to the Phantom Zone. Now Metropolis can finally heal from all this senseless destruction.
Ending #2: No time for healing! Superman and the left-on-Earth-for-some-reason Zod go at it mano-a-mano in an epic high-flying brawl that knocks down skyscrapers and murders tons of innocent people. When Zod directly threatens a family of four innocent white people, Superman suddenly grows a conscience and offs Zod, something he could have probably done ten minutes before.
Ending #3: Changing tones completely, we cut to a whimsical scene involving Superman destroying an expensive government spy satellite, irking General Swanwick (Henry Lennix), who doesn't seem that bothered by all the buildings Superman knocked down. We then see Supes in his new identity as Clark Kent, stringer reporter for the Daily Planet.
Was That Really Necessary? This is a strange case of their actually being NOT ENOUGH to the ending. The cut from Zod's death to the satellite scene feels jarring, like we're missing a reel that explores the aftermath of the Metropolis devastation. Superman has saved the world, no doubt, but the dude has a lot of explainin' to do. Guess we'll have to wait until they release the bonus fourth ending called "Man of Steel 2."

Friday, June 14

Warner Bros.

POW! IN THEATERS
Nap before Zod! Sorry, boys and girls, but I must be the bearer of sour tidings: "Man of Steel" isn't that great. Is it better than the coat hanger abortion that was "Superman Returns"? Yeah, but not by leaps and bounds. On the plus side the cast is terrific, anchored by the measured charisma of Henry Cavill as the superest man there is and Lois Lane at her spunky best courtesy of Amy Adams. Unfortunately, the retro sci-fi trappings are "Green Lantern"-level ponderous and a climactic Metropolis battle that's 9/11 times-a-hundred ("Yes, 91,100") yields less excitement and more questions about the untold millions who are killed every time Superman flicks his wrist. It's also portentous as f**k. On the fun-o-meter it makes Chris Nolan's "The Dark Knight" trilogy look like "Cannonball Run," so afraid to crack a joke that it swings around to unintentional camp. Oh, and can you say "dildo-shaped spaceships"? I warned ya. Perhaps its greatest sin is that, for all its aesthetic and tonal pioneering, "Man of Steel" is essentially a remake of "Superman I" & "II," right down to General Zod's female and bulky guy henchmen. *snore*

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
If you're wondering how director Zack Snyder and producer Christopher Nolan gathered the mechanisms to build this particular bomb then check out "The Making of 'Man of Steel'" at 10:50 p.m. on Cinemax. Want to bear witness to another massive (and massively flawed) superhero blockbuster that did it mostly right? Tim Burton's iconic "Batman" airs on BBC America at 9 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.

HULU HEAVEN
With their low production values and high talent ratio, "Shelly Duvall's Fairie Tale Theatre" is a delightful relic that most people who didn't have Showtime in the '80s would be totally unfamiliar with. I'm guessing that's most of you. Some stars who dropped in to re-enact various fables in front of charming painted backdrops include Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges, Jeff Goldblum, Mick Jagger and a young Sofia Coppola. One of the best episodes was the Duvall-ing of "Sleeping Beauty" (via HULU fo free yo) starring the greatest Superman of all time, Christopher Reeve, as the handsome prince in search of a beautiful princess (Bernadette Peters) as handsome princes are wont to do. Watch it in its entirety below:

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
This year's LA Film Fest is giving the City of Lost Angels a chance to garner some amazing cinematic experiences. See what I did there? There will be gala screenings of Nicholas Winding Refn’s polarizing Ryan Gosling blood-fest "Only God Forgives" and the Steve Carell dramedy "The Way, Way Back " alongside free anniversary screenings of "Hairspray" and "Dazed and Confused." The real treats are the many panel events, including a live-taping of KCRW's "The Treatment" with director Justin Lin ("Fast & Furious 6") and conversations with David O. Russell, Mark Boal and Maya Rudolph.

Saturday, June 15

Columbia Pictures

POW! IN THEATERS
I haven’t had a chance to scope this one out yet, but from all I've seen and heard "This Is the End" delivers on all meta-comedy fronts. Star/ co-writer/ goofy-laugher Seth Rogen and his partner Evan Goldberg have taken the plunge into directing and assembled a Murderer's Row of funny people (James Franco, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, etc.) to assist in their dramatic recreation of the Biblical apocalypse ravaging the cesspool known as Hollywood. Sight unseen, gonna go ahead and call this one as the week's most recommended Survivor of Thunderdome. Sorry, "Man of Steel," that's what you get for being so damn mopey.

BASIC CABLE BLUES
As far as screenplays go, Rogen and Goldberg seemed like comedy alchemists with the one-two punch of "Superbad" and "Pineapple Express," airing at 12 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. respectively on FX. "Superbad" took the "one crazy night" high school coming-of-age genre (yes, that's a genre) and crafted a worthy successor to "American Graffiti" for today, albeit with far more d**k jokes. Riding on that momentum, they potently combined action with bongs for "Pineapple," thanks to their can-doobie-do spirit. It's a Rogenpalooza!

Magnolia Pictures

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
Love hurts, or at least stings like a bitch. Sarah Polley's "Take This Waltz" (available on Netflix Streaming) examines what happens when a young wife (Michelle Williams) flirts with charting a new course in life as her five-year marriage hits cruise control. Here's my issue with the movie: The dude she falls for (played by Luke Kirby) is such a pretentious douchenozzle and their encounters seem to fall under either "improbable" or "stalking." Only in a movie could Kirby be able to afford the enormous apartments he lives in on a rickshaw driver's salary. Seriously. Why would she leave her husband for such a toolbag, especially when her husband is played lovably by Seth Rogen? Sure, his character is a little on the bland side (he's writing an all-chicken cookbook), but he's the best part of the film and displays a range we'll hopefully see again.

LOCAL EVENTURES
National Theatre Live brings the West End to your end as they broadcast live performances from jolly old London at the local neighborhood movie palace. Starting this week you can catch "The Audience," featuring the gift all dad's want for Father's Day: Helen Mirren. Yowza. She's reprising her Academy Award-winning role as Queen Elizabeth II from "The Queen," and like that film this show is scripted by Peter Morgan. It centers on the weekly audiences the Queen grants to England's various Prime Ministers over the decades ... and presumably the many tea biscuit eating contests they've held. Find your nearest NT Live venue at their website.

Sunday, June 16 (Father's Day)

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Leave it to TCM to offer a Father's Day lineup that includes "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" at 8 a.m., "Father of the Bride" at 10 a.m., "To Kill a Mockingbird" at 8 p.m. and "Life With Father" at 10:15 p.m. Sensing a pattern? Thought so. If Atticus Finch and Scout were still alive today I imagine they'd spend this Sunday starting an online petition movement to get English band The Boo Radleys back together. Some day.

Paramount

LOCAL EVENTURES
One of the greatest father-son adventures gets the peanut gallery treatment as LA's Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theatre presents "Doug Benson's Movie Interruption" featuring "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (1989). Despite only a 12-year age difference, Harrison Ford and Sean Connery closed the generation gap by mowing down Nazis and drinking from Jesus' juice glass (the Holy Grail). Benson and his pals — who in past interruptions have included Ed Helms, Sarah Silverman and Zach Galifianakis — will talk loudly into microphones throughout, letting their comedic brain droppings cascade over the audience. Also check out this week's "Doug Loves Movies" podcast where Benson gets "This is the End" star Seth Rogen to play The Leonard Maltin Game and trash "The Green Hornet." Again.

SIR COMIX-A-LOT
There was a throwaway line in "Marvel's The Avengers" regarding that pesky Dark Energy that the All-Father Odin harnessed to send Thor back to Earth in order to retrieve Loki and the Tesseract. Turns out that had some serious repercussions that will be dealt with in "Thor: The Dark World," so Marvel Comics has created a two-issue prelude to November's big Norse brawl as a handy primer for those who still don't know how Mjölnir is pronounced. The first issue is on stands now, and if you're still traumatized by "Game of Thrones," don't worry, I'm pretty sure there's no "Red Wedding" equivalent … at least not in this issue.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Columbia Pictures

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg have assembled a Murderer's Row of comedy heavy-hitters to provide cameos as themselves — including Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Emma Watson and Rihanna — in their new apocalyptic satire, "This is the End."

That's a buncha muncha cruncha cameos, but how do they stack up among the greatest ever perpetrated? We're counting down 35 surprise appearances in movies that pleased and shocked us ... and left us wanting more.

35. Jim Parsons, 'The Muppets' (2011)

Disney

Walter (Peter Linz) has to decide if he's "Man or Muppet," but during this solemn ballad he sees his human form in the mirror courtesy of the "Big Bang Theory" star. Although it was tunesmith Bret McKenzie who wrote the song, we think that a small chunk of that Academy Award for Best Song should go to Parsons for embodying the most Muppet-y man in the world. Watch it here.

34. Matt Damon, 'EuroTrip' (2004)

DreamWorks

High schooler Scott Thomas (Scott Mechlowicz) doesn't realize his girlfriend Fiona (Kristin Kreuk) has been having an affair with the lead singer of a college band ... until he sees the skinhead Romeo at a grad party singing at length about the affair. Matt Damon goes hardcore with the monster ballad "Scotty Doesn't Know" by the band Lustra in "EuroTrip," which actually peaked at #75 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. Watch it here.

33. Mark Hamill, 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' (2001)

Dimension

After all the "Star Wars" references scattered throughout the View Askewiverse, Kevin Smith finally landed Luke Skywalker himself as a super-villain named Cock-Knocker in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." The doobie duo of the title dabbles in a lightsaber duel … or is that a bongsaber? The Force will be with this cameo, always. Watch it here.

32. Madonna, 'Die Another Day' (2002)

MGM

Besides providing a supremely sexy music video and title track to Pierce Brosnan's swan song as James Bond, the Material Girl took up a sword as 007's fencing instructor in a scene pulsing with double entendre. "I see you handle your weapon well," she says. "I have been known to keep my tip up," quips Brosnon. Haha, they're talking about sex. Watch it here.

31. Leonard Nimoy, 'Star Trek' (2009)

Paramount

The greatest Vulcan of them all passes the torch to his young usurper Zachary Quinto in the most satisfying way possible for Trekkies ("Thrusters on full") and makes a dignified exit from the franchise in the process (or does he?), assuring the shiny new Spock will live long and prosper. Watch it here.

30. Bob Saget, 'Half Baked' (1998)

Universal

"I used to suck d**k for coke," says Bob Saget during a rehab scene in Dave Chappelle's stoner comedy, pretty much steamrolling over memories of the family-friendly actor of "Full House" and "America's Funniest Home Videos." Those who've seen his stand-up since then know that this was just the tip of the raunchy iceberg. Watch it here.

29. Michael Cera, 'This Is the End' (2013)

Columbia Pictures

The backlash against Michael Cera's dweeby on-screen persona hit full swing a few years ago, which is probably why he relished the chance to go, as his "Superbad" character would say, "full throttle 'Charlie's Angels 2'" with his extended cameo in "This is the End," bucking his milquetoast image by getting way drunk and high on "Scarface"-level amounts of blow. Before he's run through with a pole, he gets to reunite the "Superbad" trio of himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Jonah Hill.

28. Alice Cooper, 'Wayne's World' (1992)

Paramount

We're not worthy to bask in the presence of a certified rock god, and neither are Wayne and Garth when they feed Cooper's Frankenstein (i.e., ego) by kissing the man's hand after a kick-ass show. Cooper has also made memorable cameos in "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" and "John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness." Watch it here.

27. Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito, 'Austin Powers in Goldmember' (2002)

New Line

All the "Powers" movies are chock-a-block with surprise guests, but Mike Myers & Co. really went for broke parodying their own creation in "Goldmember" with the fake movie-within-a-movie "Austinpussy," featuring Cruise as Powers along with Spacey as Dr. Evil, DeVito as a surly Mini Me and Paltrow as Dixie Normous. The icing on the cake is Steven Spielberg as the director of this meta extravaganza. Watch it here.

26. Johnny Depp, '21 Jump Street' (2012)

Columbia Pictures

After playing undercover narc Tom Hanson on Fox series "21 Jump Street" for four soul-crushing seasons, Depp spent the early part of his career trying to burn his teen idoldom in effigy. When it came to making the movie, Depp agreed to return as Hanson on one condition: his old Jump Street compadre Peter DeLuise had to cameo alongside him as Officer Doug Penhall. Both of them got to wear goofy undercover biker outfits, die side-by-side and ... did Hanson say something about getting a tattoo on his junk? Watch it here.

25. Pamela Anderson, 'Borat' (2006)

Fox

The blonde bombshell becomes the guiding light during Borat's eventful trip to America, but once he encounters her in real life at a book signing, the former "Baywatch" babe has to run for her life. It's a segment so well-played by both Anderson and Sacha Baron Cohen that many audiences questioned whether or not it was staged. Watch it here (in Italian!).

24. Charlie Sheen, 'Being John Malkovich' (1999)

USA Films

You know John Malkovich is in deep trouble when he's turning to Charlie Sheen for psychological/spiritual guidance, but that's exactly how it goes down in Spike Jonze's loopy take on fame and extreme voyeurism. A glimpse at a bald, elderly Sheen in a tacky Hawaiian shirt at the end lets us know that there's at least hope that Sheen will keep on "winning" well into his twilight years. Watch it here.

23. Gene Hackman, 'Young Frankenstein' (1974)

Fox

Hackman plays Harold, the poor old blind man who asks God for a friend and gets a monster instead in Mel Brooks' classic parody of the Boris Karloff "Frankenstein" pictures. After burning the beast's crotch with soup and inadvertently doing other humiliating things, Frankenstein's monster flees out the door with Hackman pleading, "Wait! Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso." Watch it here. 

22. Will Ferrell, 'Wedding Crashers' (2005)

New Line

Any movie with more than four weddings needs at least one funeral, and that's where an uncredited Ferrell as Chaz Reinhold comes in. Owen Wilson may be good at taking advantage of euphoric women post-nuptials in "Wedding Crashers," but Ferrell is there to comfort the bereaved in true smooth-operator fashion. Of course, it turns out he's an ultra-pathetic dude who lives with his mom and watches cartoons all day when not bagging hearse honeys. Watch it here.

21. Bruce Campbell, all three 'Spider-Man' movies (2002-2007)

Sony

Campbell served director and childhood pal Sam Raimi well in three "Evil Dead" flicks, so it became a terrific running gag that the Big Chinned One would play a random role in all three blockbuster Spidey flicks. Bruce cropped up as a Wrestling Ring Announcer, a Snooty Usher and a Maître d', weaving a web of laughter. Watch his first "Spider-Man" cameo here.

20. Tim Robbins, Ben Stiller and Luke Wilson in 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy' (2004)

Paramount

This is the closest we'll ever get to an "Old School" sequel, with Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson together again for a Ron Burgundy brawl. All the rival San Diego news teams flock to a back alley and begin tearing each other to shreds, including a Spanish-language news team led by a mustachioed Ben Stiller and the public news team headed by a pipe-smoking Tim Robbins. Channel 4 keeps its head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight. Watch it here.

19. Cate Blanchett, 'Hot Fuzz' (2007)

Universal

It took the brilliant minds behind "Shaun of the Dead" to get one of the most beautiful movie stars in the world and then hide her behind goggles and a safety mask in "Hot Fuzz." Blanchett plays Janine, the ex-girlfriend of tightly wound Sgt. Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg), and their short quibble in the middle of a violent crime scene is extra-subversive once you're aware of the uncredited actress. Watch it here.

18. Christopher Walken, 'True Romance' (1993)

Warner Bros.

Yes, his cameo with "the watch" in "Pulp Fiction" was memorable, but Walken's other sojourn into Tarantino-ville in "True Romance" is downright electric. He's aided by another infamous screen legend, Dennis Hopper, who shares an insulting anecdote about the origin of Sicilians and winds up giving Vincenzo Coccotti (Walken) a piece of his mind ... splattered all over the wall. "I haven't killed anybody ... [*BANG*] since 1984." Watch it here.

17. Sylvester Stallone, 'Staying Alive' (1983)

Paramount

It's a neat bit of "now you see me, now you don't" cameo magic when John Travolta's strutting dancer Tony Manero bumps into Stallone on the street and they lock eyes for a split second. "Staying Alive" is the only flick Sly directed but did not star in, so he had to insert himself in there somehow. Watch it here. 

16. Bruce Springsteen, 'High Fidelity' (2000)

Touchstone Pictures

In one of the greatest fantasy cameos since Woody Allen brought Marshall McLuhan into the movie line in "Annie Hall," John Cusack's music nerd Rob Gordon imagines The Boss giving him love advice while casually strumming a guitar in "High Fidelity." "That's what you're lookin' for. Getting' ready to start again, it'll be good for you. Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all-time Top Five." Watch it here.

15. Bruce Willis and Julia Roberts, 'The Player' (1992)

Fine Line Features

After screenwriters pitch an Oscar-caliber movie entitled "Habeas Corpus" to slick n' sleazy studio exec Griffin Mill, insisting it not be toned down with a softball Hollywood happy ending, we cut to one year later — and that's exactly what happens. Willis saves Roberts from the gas chamber at the last minute, and love conquers all! Watch it here.

14. Samuel L. Jackson, 'Iron Man' (2008)

Marvel

Though the original Marvel Comics iteration of S.H.I.E.L.D. leader Nick Fury was a white dude with salt and pepper hair, the Ultimate universe reinvented Fury as a bald African American chap whose appearance was based on Sam 'The Man' Jackson. It seemed only appropriate that Jackson dropped in for a stinger at the end of "Iron Man," the first of several linking crossovers leading to "Marvel's The Avengers." Watch it here.

13. Eminem, 'Funny People' (2009)

Universal

The real Slim Shady sits down with stand-up comic George Simmons (Adam Sandler) after the sad-sack comedian beats a deathly illness and gives him the 411 on why he'd have been better off dead in Judd Apatow's underrated "Funny People." The peak moment arrives when Mr. Mathers spies Ray Romano staring at him and threatens, "I don't give a f**k what show he's on. I'll f**k this motherf**ker up, man!" Watch it here.

12. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 'Airplane!' (1980)

Paramount

The star basketballer took his patented sky hook to flying the friendly skies masquerading as airline pilot "Roger Murdock," although little Joey (Ross Harris) figures out the ruse pretty quickly. When Joey brings up his father's insults, Kareem grabs the boy by his shirt and yells, "I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes." Watch it here.

11. Huey Lewis, 'Back to the Future' (1985)

Universal

Huey Lewis and the News felt "The Power of Love" for this time-traveling classic, but did you know that's Huey lookin' all dweeby as the uptight administrator with a megaphone? He's so wound up, he thinks Marty McFly's band is just "too darn loud" to play the high school dance. That's some sad news, Huey. Watch it here.

10. Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn, 'X-Men: First Class' (2011)

Fox

Jennifer Lawrence inherited her near-naked take on blue sex goddess Mystique from Rebecca Romijn in this prequel, but since her mutant powers involve shape-shifting, she proves to Magneto she can look any way she wants for him. The movie also earns its single F-bomb with Jackman as Wolvie as he's approached in a bar by Charles & Erik. Watch it here.

9. Billy Idol, 'The Wedding Singer' (1998)

Columbia Pictures

In a freak circumstance, Adam Sandler's character in "The Wedding Singer" winds up on a plane with the "White Wedding" singer, who helps him win the heart of Drew Barrymore and vanquish her d-bag boyfriend in the process. Nice! Watch it here.

8. Keith Richards, 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End' (2007)

Disney

Since Johnny Depp modeled the memorable mannerisms of his Captain Jack Sparrow on Richards, why not have this stone roll in for a day or two in full pirate drag as Sparrow's drunken papa? So far, his appearances in the last couple of "Pirates" adventures have been true highlights. Watch it here.

7. Bob Barker, 'Happy Gilmore' (1996)

Columbia Pictures

When unstable ex-hockey player turned golf pro Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler) is teamed up with Barker during a celebrity tournament, he winds up falling to pieces in the face of some obnoxious heckling, which leads to an extended fistfight between Gilmore and the game show host. "The price is WRONG, bitch." Watch it here.

6. Brett Favre, 'There's Something About Mary' (1998)

Fox

After Ben Stiller's irresistible love interest Cameron Diaz nearly marries the former Green Bay Packer in this Farrelly Brothers classic, he decides she's better off with Favre, but a last-second switch-up has Diaz dumping the hero for the zero (that being Stiller). Adorable. Watch it here.

5. Stan Lee in every Marvel movie ... and 'Mallrats' (1995)

Gramercy Pictures

That's right, true believers, the co-creator of Marvel's mightiest heroes, from "Spider-Man" to "Iron Man," is always "The Man," a good luck charm in each of the comic book adaptations. Think of ol' Stan as the "Where's Waldo" of superheroics. He also inspired Jason Lee in longtime comic book aficionado Kevin Smith's sophomore effort "Mallrats." Excelsior! Watch it here.

4. Tom Cruise, 'Tropic Thunder' (2008)

DreamWorks

After his couch-jumping and Scientological antics led to public embarrassment and a tarnished image, Tom Terrific needed a comedy pronto to prove he didn't take himself so seriously. Enter his longtime pal Ben Stiller, who cast Cruise as Les Grossman in "Tropic Thunder," a hyperbolic, foul-mouthed chimney of expletives who may or may not have been modeled on real-life producer Scott Rudin. Thanks to some hairy arms and a bald noggin courtesy of makeup man Rick Baker, Cruise screamed and danced his way back into the public's good graces. Watch it here.

3. Neil Patrick Harris, 'Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle' (2004)

New Line

This is where the road has taken him. Harris started off as Doogie Howser but wound up a poon hound of epic proportions, popping pills and branding whores all across the country. Not magic mushrooms, getting shot in the back or even Jesus can stop NPH from being the untameable party animal he is. Watch it here.

2. Mike Tyson, 'The Hangover' (2009)

Warner Bros.

Iron Mike punched his way back into pop culture relevancy when he punched out Zach Galifianakis faster than you could say "Nintendo." Tyson's few brief scenes became a cornerstone of the marketing campaign for the bro-tastic comedy smash and earned him a prominent place in the sequel. Watch it here.

1. Bill Murray, 'Zombieland' (2009)

Columbia Pictures

Murray is in our estimation the greatest living actor, comedic or otherwise, so it's no duh that he takes the top spot for his movie-stealing appearance as himself, living la vida postapocalyptic in a zombiefied Hollywood. Reuniting with his old bowling buddy Woody Harrelson ("Kingpin") was cool, strapping on the ghostbustin' proton pack was better ... but badmouthing his involvement with the woeful "Garfield" movies? Priceless. Watch it here.

A24

This week the former star of "Harry Potter" gets hotter as the squeaky-clean Emma Watson shows off her inner bad girl in Sofia Coppola's "The Bling Ring," where her character Nicki commits a series of robberies against celebs like Paris Hilton. For the 23-year-old Watson, who shot to fame as goodie-two-shoes wizard Hermione Granger in the "Potter" movies, this role marks a distinct departure from both her on-screen and real-life images. The only thing more shocking would be if Lindsay Lohan maintained sobriety for six months.

While we're all hoping young Ivy Leaguer Watson doesn't follow in the Lohan mold and quit Brown University for the School of Hard Knocks, let's take a look at some other actors who shed their media-sanctioned image to take on roles nobody saw coming. From Tom Cruise going bad to Jennifer Aniston going perv, these actors played against type for keeps.

9. Tom Cruise, 'Collateral' (2004)

Tom Terrific has made his name playing do-gooders in various capacities of both law ("A Few Good Men," "The Firm") and order ("Minority Report," "Mission: Impossible"), but for director Michael Mann's "Collateral" he showed what that sharp skill set could do if applied to evil. Hence, his contract killer Vincent forces cabbie Max (Jamie Foxx) to escort him for a night on the town icing dudes left and right, with nary a shred of remorse. His character digs jazz, though, so he's not totally irredeemable. Tom went grey and buzz cut for the role, as the Cruiser tends to re-invent himself physically when he plays anything other than his usual heroic self (blonde/long hair in "Interview With the Vampire," fat/bald in "Tropic Thunder").

8. Johnny Depp, 'Nick of Time' (1995)

Back in the pre-"Pirates" era of the mid-'90s, Johnny Depp was already known for tackling a seemingly never-ending string of bizarro roles ("Edward Scissorhands," "Benny & Joon," "Ed Wood"), a streak he has continued well into today. That being the case, it was definitely out of character for Depp to take a part as a normal average Joe caught in a lousy situation: forced to assassinate a governor or his daughter will be killed by Christopher Walken (doing his best Christopher Walken impression). This real-time action stunt didn't catch on at the box office, so Depp got back to doing what he does best; namel,y playing pale loners in Tim Burton flicks.

7. Tom Hanks, 'Road to Perdition' (2002)

It's become a cliché that Hanks is called "the Jimmy Stewart of today," although that means that, like Stewart, Hanks is entitled to an occasional lapse from likable everyman roles. Playing an Irish mob hit man in "Road to Perdition" was about as far from "Forrest Gump" as anyone could imagine, but like everything Hanks does he aced it and wound up looking pretty cool with a Tommy gun, to boot. Of course, even when Tom Hanks plays a badass he's still a mopey badass.

6. Jim Carrey, 'The Truman Show' (1998) & 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' (2004)

Since his early stand-up days the rubber-faced Carrey has been seen as the heir apparent to Jerry Lewis, and films like "Dumb & Dumber" did nothing to dissuade that line of thought. Somewhere along the line Carrey decided he didn't want to be Jerry Lewis 2 anymore — he wanted to be Robin Williams, alternating between goofy paycheck roles and serious gigs. "The Truman Show" was his first stab at it, playing the unwitting star of a TV show since birth, thus confirming every narcissist's conspiracy theory that all of life revolves around them. A few years later he played a sad sack illustrator in Michael Gondry's sci-fi meditation on love, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," which showed off the more depressive side of the actor with none of his usual physical schtick. Carrey, who has battled clinical depression in his personal life, said that his "Eternal Sunshine" character was the closest to himself of any role he's had.

5. Denzel Washington, 'Training Day' (2001) & 'American Gangster' (2007)

Denzel is the very definition of class, whether he's performing Shakespeare ("Much Ado About Nothing"), defending an AIDS patient ("Philadelphia") or protecting the free world ("Crimson Tide"), but did you know he's also a BMF? Neither did we until he blew us away as the corrupt Detective Alonzo Harris in "Training Day," a role so against-type he earned an Oscar for going the extra mile. He later went full-on Michael Corleone as heroin smuggler/mafia don Frank Lucas in Ridley Scott's "American Gangster," a role so scary we can never watch one of Washington's Boys & Girls Clubs of America commercials the same way again.

4. Jennifer Aniston, 'Horrible Bosses' (2011)

Jennifer Aniston is a horndog rapist. Yeah, you read that right. America's sweetheart and rom-com go-to girl morphed into a skeezy sex-offender dentist who tries to dig her claws into the happily married Charlie Day in "Horrible Bosses." Her not-so-subtle passes include walking around in nothing but a white coat and undies as well as putting Day's character under to pose for a series of salacious photos. When day sees the photos and literally yells "Rape!" over and over, Aniston simply responds, "Just relax there, Jodie Foster." The "Friends" beauty clearly relished her chance to get nasty in order to buck her image as a vanilla cookie-cutter love interest.

3. Eddie Murphy, 'Bowfinger' (1999)

Murphy was one of the first comedians to wear a rock star getup on-stage and exuded cool in all of his on-screen roles, most notably as Axel Foley in the "Beverly Hills Cop" series. For Steve Martin's Hollywood satire "Bowfinger," he opted to play a loser nerd, with braces, glasses, the whole ball of wax, in the form of a Starbucks employee named Jiff. Murphy also manages to lampoon his own image as a self-obsessed movie star in the dual role of Jiff's more famous brother Kit Ramsey, making "Bowfinger" one of the most meta against-type outings ever.

2. Harrison Ford, 'What Lies Beneath' (2000)

Han Solo. Indiana Jones. Jack Ryan. Ford embodied all these heroes with integrity and honor, which is what made his turn as a cold-blooded psycho murderer in "What Lies Beneath" all the more shocking. Who would have seen that coming? The guy who exclaimed, "I didn't kill my wife!" in "The Fugitive" was all of the sudden trying to kill his wife, played by Michelle Pfeiffer. This supernatural thriller's twist came from the mind of screenwriter Clark Gregg, who later made a career out of popping up randomly in some of the Marvel movies as Agent Phil Coulson.

1. Jimmy Stewart, 'Vertigo' (1958)

The lovable star of "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Harvey" would not usually show up on the short list to play "twisted obsessed pervert"-types, but that's exactly the kind of switcheroo Alfred Hitchcock had in mind when he cast the game Stewart in "Vertigo." Stewart plays a San Francisco cop traumatized by a woman named Madeleine's suicide. Then he meets a woman named Judy (Kim Novak), who reminds him of the deceased woman so much that he forces her to dress just like her. Creepy! Then it turns out she really was pretending to be her but the real woman was killed but then she really dies, too … wait, what the hell happens in this movie? Let's just say Stewart plays a perv and leave it at that.

Friday, June 7

NEW ON BLU
Oh man, oh man, oh man … The 'Mad Max' Collection on Blu-ray! It's all three of the most-worshipped post-apocalyptic vehicular mayhem movies ever burned onto celluloid, including for the first time on Blu-ray the amazingly bizarre "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." Unfortunately there's not much in the way of new bonus content on any of these, but the prints are all glorious — especially "Thunderdome," which looks like a brand-new movie. There's a great doc on the first "Mad Max," as well as a subdued commentary with mastermind Dr. George Miller on "The Road Warrior." "Thunderdome" is bare bones, and I suspect all of these will be getting the deluxe treatment before "Mad Max: Fury Road" rumbles into theaters next year. That said, you may have discerned I'm a bit of a fan of these, and it thrills me to be able to watch Mel Gibson pummel leather-clad biker mutants for six consecutive hours in the comfort of my own underground bunker.

YOUTUBE IT!
One of the most genius casting decisions of the entire "Mad Max" trilogy was putting Tina Turner front and center as villainess Auntie Entity. Her giant hair and even more intimidating shoulder pads were more than a match for the quick-witted Max Rockatansky, but she really brought her A-game to the memorable songs she cut for the film, including its anthem "We Don't Need Another Hero." This being the '80s there was a cheesy, MTV-ready music video produced as well, loaded with glammy Turner and clips that basically spoil the whole movie. You can observe through the magic of YouTube below:

THE CON IS ON
Another indelible character from "The Road Warrior" was the mohawked Wez, a silent motorcycle scavenger whose rooster-like appearance/squawk was given zany life by actor Vernon Wells ("Innerspace," "Commando"). If you want to meet Wells in person and perhaps get his John Hancock on a photo, DVD or breast then get on yer hogs and burn rubber to Fatality Fest 2013 in West Palm Beach, Florida June 7-9. Other celebs there for festivities include the Ringo of the "Ghostbusters" Ernie Hudson, Dee Wallace of "The Howling" and "E.T." fame and frequently naked on-screen scream queen Linnea Quigley.

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
Hey, you know what Middle America will love? A movie about patriotism set during the Revolutionary War starring two Australians and directed by a German guy. Thus, 2000's "The Patriot" was born and you can catch it on Encore at 9:40 p.m., laughing to yourself about all the rednecks lapping up every false note in Roland Emmerich's overblown, historically inaccurate flag-waving epic. Mad Max himself Mel Gibson plays war vet Benjamin Martin, a tough hombre who reluctantly gets swept up in the battle against the British in order to protect his family, including captured son Gabriel (Heath Ledger).

Saturday, June 8

Lionsgate

POW! IN THEATERS
"I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me." Aww snap! That's some witty barbing delivered by Beatrice (Amy Acker) to the sly Benedick (Alexis Denisof) in Joss Whedon's masterful B&W adaptation of William Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing," shot entirely on location at casa de Whedon in Santa Monica, CA. Besides being this week's much-recommended Survivor of Thunderdome, it's also a rich banquet from which to sup some of the barb's glorious turns of a phrase coming out of some equally beautiful mouths. There's wonderfully subversive commentary on the centuries-old play as well, including a well-timed joke on its inherent racism. The biggest takeaway is that Joss Whedon has an AWESOME house; this movie will no doubt double its resale value.

HULU HEAVEN
Joss Whedon may have free reign in the Marvel Universe but he hasn't cornered the market on contemporary versions of "Much Ado About Nothing," as is evident by this 2010 version entirely cast and crewed by teens at Utah's East Hollywood High School, available on Hulu fo free yo. It's Shakespeare with a twist of "Twilight" and plenty of acne, and even though the budget is low, the energy is high, with leads Robin Noble as Beatrice and Jake Larrabee as Benedick proving themselves quite capable of their roles. Unlike Whedon, these youngsters have taken some liberties with the dialogue: "I would my Jeep had the speed of your tongue!" Getting to watch someone deliver a soliloquy while playing Dance Dance Revolution in a bowling alley is worth the price of admission alone. Watch it in its entirety below:

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
"Much Ado" is a huge self-generated triumph for Whedon, but he pulled a similar experiment back in 2008 in the new medium of Internet videos with "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," currently available on Netflix Streaming. It's structured as the personal video diaries of Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) as he sings of longing for a girl named Penny (Felicia Day) … and his longing to dominate the human race through supervillainy. "Much Ado" co-star Nathan Fillion is Horrible's doltish superhero nemesis Captain Hammer, and the music by Joss and his brother Jed is horribly toe-tapping.

Nerdist.com

PODCASTAWAY
Riki Lindhome is one half of the hilarious singing duo Garfunkel and Oates, but besides being a funny lady and possessor of anime eyes she also has a great podcast called "Making It" where she interviews many fine folks. Last year in the months prior to "The Avengers" she got to do a show with her pal Joss Whedon before he became King S**t cock of the walk in Hollywood. She also co-stars in his "Much Ado," having changed Don John's stooge Conrade into a female for the sole purpose of having some sexy Lindhome time. Fine with us. Hear Joss wax nostalgic on his unproduced musical about the Oliver North trial, his genuine hatred of Donald Sutherland and how he still thinks "Waterworld" is a good idea at this link.

Sunday, June 9

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Fans of underground cartooning and/or women with huge bean-shaped posteriors should by all means set your DVRs for 1994's classic doc "Crumb" on TCM at 2 a.m. Directed by Terry Zwigoff, it chronicles the life and times of America's doodler laureate Robert Crumb as well as his crazy-ass mom and two demented brothers. As eccentric an oddball as Robert may be, once you meet his family you'll appreciate what a gift artistic expression can be in terms of survival.

Universal

POW! IN THEATERS
A future society where every crime — including murder — is legal for one 12-hour period a year? It could happen. "The Purge" seeks to explore what happens when an entire society is taken off the leash for one night of carnage, focusing on a family led by security expert James (Ethan Hawke) caught in a big ol' standoff with some homicidal maniacs.

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
From June 6-9, residents of post-apocalyptic Detroit can take shelter from the nuclear fallout in the Cinetopia Film Festival. Some highlights include the long-in-production "Star Wars"-meets-"Almost Famous" memoir "5-25-77," Vincenzo Natali's new mind-bending horror flick "Haunter" starring Abigail Breslin, the "Calvin & Hobbes" tribute doc "Dear Mr. Watterson," high school romance "The Spectacular Now" and a weekend-long Robert Altman Symposium including guests like actor Michael Murphy, director/collaborator Alan Rudolph and Altman's widow Kathryn Altman.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Getty Images

We know Carey Mulligan has a lot of "Drive," but who knew she was such a political animal?

According to The Hollywood Reporter the Academy Award-nominated "An Education" star is now at the tippy-top of a formidable list of A-list actresses to score the part of former Secretary of State/2016 Presidential frontrunner Hillary Clinton in the biopic "Rodham."

THR says Mulligan "will have a sit-down with director James Ponsoldt ('The Spectacular Now')" and that "both sides are eager for it to work" even though "no decision has been made and that others actresses are still in the mix."

Those others include Amanda Seyfried, Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Chastain, the latter of whom shot down rumors earlier this week. If the role is indeed Mulligan's it will be a juicy one, dramatizing Hillary's formative years as an ambitious young lawyer trying to reconcile her lofty political ambitions with feelings for a scruffy law school stud named Bill Clinton. These are also known casually as Hillary's "hot years" (yowsa!).

Whoever lands the gig, the idea is to have "Rodham" front-and-center in the lead-up to the next big election cycle, with Temple Hill Entertainment already positioning it as an awards contender.

Mulligan certainly has the fierceness and intelligence needed to convey Hillary's strength, and will definitely look cute in glasses. She most recently got her Charleston on in "The Great Gatsby," and will next dance to the Coen Brothers' tune for the critically lauded "Inside Llewyn Davis."

So what do you think? Could this...

...accurately portray this?

Universal

When you start seeing numbers like "6" after certain movie titles, as is the case with the recent smash "Furious 6," it really begs the question: "How much longer can this go on?"

The answer is an infinity symbol (∞), and if you don't believe us then take a look at this infographic that displays the longest-running franchises in Hollywood history to date, the ones that just didn't know when to say "Enough."

Sure, we had to include weird stuff like the theatrically-released "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" movie and the doofy Adam West "Batman" movie from 1966, though both their respective series (and just about every other franchise on the list) have more installments in store, bet your bottom dollar.

Click on the image below for a larger version.

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Did you ever get so frustrated playing Pictionary that you threw all the paper and markers in the garbage and lit the board on fire? We feel your pain — and that's why we've taken all the effort of having to articulate clues through one-minute Sharpie drawings and eliminated the middle man with our collection of Pictionary movie drawings.

All you have to do is guess which popular movies these ten drawings represent without yelling at your spouse that they "can't draw worth s**t." Truth be told, we can't really draw, either ... Good Luck!

Greetings from the apocalypse! It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n' roll, but if you're Will Smith's kid it ain't that long. The thoroughly Thetan-free father-son gods among us will be exemplars of human perfection on screen this weekend, but that doesn't mean you have to give them your money. There's plenty to see, do, touch, taste, smell, snort and vomit with the fully stocked weekend of entertainment I have lined up for ya, kiddos.

Friday, May 31

Columbia Pictures

POW! IN THEATERS
M. Night Shyamalan hasn't exactly been an audience's best friend for the last, oh, decade or so, which is why the studio wasn't generous in name-dropping him as director of "After Earth." Indeed, the real power behind the throne appears to be Will Smith and his superior progeny Jaden in this vehicle designed to showcase them as a father-son duo who crash land on an uninhabitable future Earth absolutely silly with monsters. Don't underestimate Shyamalan, though, who's always game to throw a twist at us. We're guessing the surprise is that Smith was a ghost the whole time whose weakness was water, and that the Earth wasn't actually ruined but rather they just accidentally landed in New Orleans five years from now. And then the "Dianetics" volcano erupts.

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Lord knows no one is more oversaturated than Will Smith, but if your weekend needs some freshening from said Prince then go ahead and double dip with "Enemy of the State" at 5 p.m. and "Hancock" at 8 p.m. on FX. "Enemy" is the late Tony Scott's kinda-sorta spiritual sequel to "The Conversation," with Gene Hackman again playing a paranoid surveillance expert helping Smith's man on the run. If that wasn't big, loud and dumb enough for ya then "Hancock" should do the trick with Smith's alcoholic superhero learning to do good again. You can tell he has attitude 'cause he always wears shades, man.

Fox

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
Believe it or not, "After Earth" isn't the first sci-fi movie to carry said nomenclature. That honor goes to Don Bluth's 2000 animated bomb "Titan A.E." (guess what the "A.E." stands for), one of the last gasps of traditional 2-D animation, and it's available on Netflix Streaming. This tale of a ship designed as the last hope for humanity after d**khole aliens blow up our planet was co-written by none other than Joss Whedon, still working out the kinks in his space opera toolbox before "Firefly." Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore and totally distinguishable Ron Perlman voice what could best be described as "Heavy Metal" without the boobs and only a moderate amount of bloodshed. Luckily an annoying cockroach character voiced by Jim Breuer is murdered way early on.

THE CON IS ON
Philly is the city of nerderly love for the next few days as Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con decides if it wants a cheesesteak with whiz or without from May 30 through June 2. Appearing to finalize their career skids trajectory are Jon Heder of "Napoleon Dynamite," the X-Men's Iceman Shawn Ashmore, Mini-Me himself Verne Troyer, Boondock Saint Norman Reedus, all-around hot "Serenity" chick Summer Glau and Marvel Comics main man Stan Lee. There may also be some comic books there, but don't quote me on that. At the very least you might ogle a porn star dressed as Power Girl.

Saturday, June 1

Summit

POW! IN THEATERS
"Now You See Me," now you don't. I probably won't, but if I had to choose between this one and "After Earth" I gotta admit this magician caper thriller comedy thingy has the higher pedigree. For starters you've got Louis Letterier, who made one of the better Marvel movies IMHO with "The Incredible Hulk," you've got co-writer Ed Solomon of "Bill & Ted"/"Men in Black" fame, and not to mention that cast! My favorite neurotic heartthrob Jesse Eisenberg reteams with his old zombie killing buddy Woody Harrelson who, along with Isla Fisher and James Franco's brother, form an unbeatable magic act known as The Four Horsemen. Their specialty is robbing banks via abra cadabra, then giving the money away to their audience. If the filmmakers can actually come up with an explanation for how they pull that off in a way that doesn't involve some stupid sci-fi crap then I'm all about this.

HULU HEAVEN
Here's something. It's called "Hempsters: Plant the Seed." It's a documentary about hemp. Woody Harrelson is an interviewee in it. Do you really need more context than that? Thought not. Watch it in its entirety below via HULU fo free, yo:

YOUTUBE IT!
It seemed appropriate that this week's much-recommended Survivor of Thunderdome be an oldie-but-goodie rarity, so since we're more into magicians than Claudia Schiffer let's roll with the best as we observe "Penn & Teller Get Killed" via the miracle of YouTube. This 1989 feature film, the last by the great Arthur Penn ("Bonnie and Clyde"), gave Penn Jillette and his silent partner Teller a vehicle through which to subversively explore some clever notions about skepticism, illusion and elaborate pranks as Penn dares everyone in the country to kill him on national television. Danger ensues. Not only does the movie completely live up to its title, it might be the only one of its kind until "Fight Club" a decade later to actively engage the audience in questioning their values and perceptions. Deep, man. Watch it in its entirety below:

LOCAL EVENTURES
For the rest of the summer I wanna try and highlight at least one outdoor screening event each week, starting with this one in the snooty Brentwood area of Los Angeles, CA. You can roll your eyes at the first 8-year-old you see with their own iPhone as Paul Revere Middle School and Showtime hosts a free screening of the 1995 classic "Clueless," the movie that made Alicia Silverstone a star for a few months and proved that Jane Austin can be translated into moron. There will be live music by Tic Tic Boom, lots of female chefs participating in Lady Food Truck night and giveaways of new Katy Perry flavored popchips … I'm not sure how they extracted Katy's essence, but it was probably legal.

Sunday, June 2

CBS Films

MASTER OF THE ART HOUSE
If you want a safe, moderately edgy indie flick with the heart of a single-camera sitcom then how about you check out "The Kings of Summer" in limited release. It follows a doofy kid named Joe, his rash-covered pal Patrick and token hyper-weirdo Biaggo as they ditch their nutball families in order to live out a "Lord of the Flies"-with-ADD existence in a house they've built out of scrap in the woods. The script is pretty predictable and the deadpan zingers come out of Nick Offerman's mouth at a ratio of six for every minute of screen time he has. All in all not bad, but the recent "Mud" dealt with similar themes with more flair/ believability. To learn about other movies in the limited "Kids Build Wacky Stuff" genre, be sure to check out my piece on that very topic over at Film.com right friggin' now.

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
I know y'all still haven't had your fix of Jesse Eisenberg, so let him razzmatazz you once more with his Micro-Machine Man rapid-fire dialogue in 2010's "The Social Network" at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. on Fox Movie Channel. Eisenberg plays Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg like he's "Mark Asperger," an emotionally detached cunning warrior of the web who will bulldoze over friends, colleagues and lovers in order to prove he's the smartest guy in the room. When you're making the kind of swingin' d**k money that Zuckerberg is raking in from us Facebook users voluntarily doling out personal info in pursuit of networking and getting laid then more power to him, ya know?

Chicago Review Press

GET LIT!
Are you one of those people that needs someone cool to tell you something's cool before you can realize it's cool? Me too — that's why I'm dying to read "The Best Film You've Never Seen: 35 Directors Champion the Forgotten or Critically Savaged Movies They Love." British rom-com king extolls the virtues of 1979's hometown dramedy "Breaking Away," Jay Duplass sings the praises of the surreal Tom Hanks vehicle "Joe vs. the Volcano" and Edgar Wright loves him some "Super Cops." Other great directors chipping in include Guillermo del Toro, Neil LaBute, Richard Kelly, Todd Solondz, Bill Condon, Frank Oz, Kevin Smith and many others. This sounds like my jam.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Summit

Environmentalist. Cannabis spokesperson. Playwright. Vegan. Cannabis enjoyer. Woody Harrelson is a complex individual and a multifaceted presence on screen, his roles running the range of clean-cut cowboy to cold-blooded killer. But no matter who he's playing there always seems to be a lingering essence of the real Woody, and that's why he rules.

This week sees the former TV star getting "Cheers" for his role as a stage-magician-cum-bank-robber in "Now You See Me" and this November he'll reprise the part of Haymitch Abernathy in his first-ever sequel, "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire." We're stoking the fires of Woody worship as we pay tribute to our favorite High Times cover boy with nine of his quintessential roles.

9. 'A Scanner Darkly' (2006)

There's no denying the essential Woodiness of stoner dude Ernie Luckman in Richard Linklater's rotoscope animated take on one of Philip K. Dick's most grounded and personal novels. Taking place in the near future, "A Scanner Darkly" follows an attempted police crackdown on Substance D, a dangerous mind-altering substance that leaves people hallucinating and paranoid. Luckman is perhaps the most laid-back of the five main protagonists, which also include fellow heads Keanu Reeves and Robert Downey Jr. Harrelson's rambling bit about the movie "Catch Me If You Can" is one of the many highlights.

8. 'Seven Psychopaths' (2012)

WH inherited the juicy part of Mob boss Charlie Costello from Mickey Rourke, who bailed after disagreements with director Martin McDonagh. Unlike the punch-drunk "Wrestler" star, Harrelson commands a certain level of understatement as well as unbeatable comedic timing that melds well with McDonagh's dark laugher about a screenwriter (Colin Farrell) who gets mixed up with a botched kidnapping of Costello's prized Shih Tzu, Bonny. Needless to say, all hell breaks loose.

7. 'A Prairie Home Companion' (2006)

Radio storyteller Garrison Keillor had spent decades mesmerizing NPR-heads with his old-fashioned broadcasts, but for Robert Altman's movie version they spiced things up with a little star power, including Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Tommy Lee Jones and Lindsay Lohan for the kiddies. To play Dusty and Lefty, a pair of randy cowboys with a penchant for off-color jokes, Altman got Harrelson and John C. Reilly to banter playfully to the point where they wound up stealing the show from both their famous compatriots and Keillor himself.

6. 'The People Vs. Larry Flynt' (1996)

Perhaps only Harrelson could peer into the perverted soul of porn chieftain Larry Flynt and find the mensch within. Miloš Forman's biopic chronicles the Hustler magnate in both his prime and the post-sensation below-the-waist years after a near-fatal assassination attempt leaves him in a wheelchair. Flynt's rise from mere smut peddler to political activist, free speech advocate and provocateur is definitely something the outspoken Harrelson could connect to.

5. 'No Country For Old Men' (2007)

As Carson Wells, a would-be bounty hunter who winds up biting a bullet from Javier Bardem's Anton Chigurh, Harrelson gets to deliver some of the wittier back-and-forths in the Coen Brothers' adroit screenplay. When the man who hires him to hunt down Chigurh asks, "Did I say you could sit?" Wells replies, "No, but you strike me as a man who wouldn't want to waste his chair." This is perhaps the dozenth film where Woody dons a cowboy hat, so he fits right into author Cormac McCarthy's neo-western motif.

4. 'White Men Can't Jump' (1992)

This was Harrelson's first real breakout success on the big screen, re-teaming him with his "Wildcats" pal Wesley Snipes in a story of two streetballers who hustle each other and others for cash. Woody shared even greater chemistry with the audacious Rosie Perez as his whip-smart girlfriend studying to become a "Jeopardy" contestant. Unfortunately her absence was felt when Snipes and Harrelson came together for their third action outing, "Money Train."

3. 'Kingpin' (1996)

Arguably the Farrelly Brothers' best movie, "Kingpin" offered Woody a chance to go full-tilt boogie into broad comedy. Roy Munson (Harrelson) is a former bowling prodigy who lost his hand and spent the next 15 years in the gutter, but life hands him a spare in the form of squeaky-clean Amish boy and bowling sensation Ishmael (Randy Quaid). Munson proceeds to give Ishmael the full tour of decadence on the road to a Vegas bowling championship, but Woody masterfully maintains the innocence underneath the surface sleaze. Example: When he burns a baby with hot coffee while trying to coochie-coo it, it shows he's basically a decent dude underneath the beer gut and aloe vera aftershave, even when his intentions don't quite work out.

2. 'Natural Born Killers' (1994)

Harrelson's Mickey Knox is a serial killer psychopath painting America red through a trail of bodies he and wife Mallory (Juliette Lewis) leave behind during their homicidal honeymoon. Sounds like a stretch from the guy who played a goofy bartender on NBC, but the character hits closer to home than you would think: Woody's real-life dad Charles Harrelson was a contract killer for the mafia, convicted of murdering a federal judge. Through the warped lens of Oliver Stone's multimedia visual kaleidoscope (B&W, animation, grainy Super-8 footage, video, back-screen projection), Knox is a frightening creature but not nearly as scary as the media circus that turns him into a pop culture hero.

1. 'Zombieland' (2009)

The Woodman finally got to combine the shotgun-wielding badass part of himself with the lovable kidult we know him to be with "Zombieland," earning him a surprise smash hit in the process. Tallahassee, as his character is called, is the prototypical über-hero who comes across the anxiety-ridden OCD survivalist Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and the two of them forge an unlikely partnership that … well, if you can imagine Bruce Campbell teaming up with Woody Allen to fight zombies, you get the picture. True to form, Harrelson did not break vegan edge for the Twinkie scene, instead consuming a fake one made out of cornmeal.

Warner Bros.

Just like how Alan (Zach Galifianakis) used card counting to win $80 grand in the first "Hangover" movie, director Todd Phillips and screenwriter Craig Mazin have broken down every element that made it the most successful R-rated comedy of all time in order to repeat that success twice more.

By now you may have heard that "The Hangover Part III" diverges from the formula which was merely copied and pasted for "Part II," but if you check out our infographic you can plainly see this third Wolf Pack outing is no game of chance. How funny any of these repeat strategies might be is the luck of the draw, but the movie house always wins.

See how Phillips, Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms beat the dealers to come up with three of a kind. Click on the image below for a larger version.

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Lucasfilm

Reverberations are still being felt in the geekosphere from an auspicious meeting of the minds that took place at George Lucas' Park Way house in San Anselmo, California in July of 1981, when he, director Richard Marquand, screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan and producer Howard Kazanjian held court for a "Return of the Jedi" story conference.

With J.W. Rinzler's exhaustive "The Making of Return of the Jedi" hitting bookshelves in October, Huffington Post got ahold of a tantalizing transcript of said 1981 meeting included in the book, which fans will surely line up for once they hear how closely Lucas stuck to his guns on the Skywalker backstory… as well as the nutty ideas that changed before cameras rolled on the prequels.

"Anakin gets worse and worse," Lucas explained to his team, according to the transcript, "and finally Ben has to fight him and he throws him down into a volcano and Vader is all beat up. Now, when he falls into the pit, his other arm goes and his leg and there is hardly anything left of him by the time the Emperor’s troops fish him out of the drink."

Sounds pretty familiar, eh "Revenge of the Sith" fans? (All 15 of you.) Lucas also compares the Emperor to Richard Nixon, and using The Force to yoga, all of which is cool with us, except when he gets to the part about Yoda only being some kind of Jedi substitute teacher and not a badass warrior. Whaa?

Kasdan: You mean he wouldn’t be any good in a fight?

Lucas: Not with Darth Vader he wouldn’t.

Kasdan: I accept it, but I don’t like it.

Yeah, good call, Kasdan. Crouching Tiger Yoda was the best part of the prequels, fo sho.

Also illuminating: Originally Padme (Natalie Portman in the prequel trilogy) was supposed to live to see her daughter turn 2, which is why in "Return of the Jedi" Leia remembers her sad momma, but somewhere along the way Lucas must have figured out that Padme's death in "Episode III" would have been the final kick to the crotch Darth Vader needed to turn permanently to the Dark Side. So why does Leia still recall her mother in "ROTJ"? Lucas should have just redone the scene in the Special Editions to have Luke ask, "What do you remember of your mother?" "Nada," Leia replies. "Samesies!" Luke exclaims. See, simple editing saves the day.

Warner Bros.

WARNING: SPOILERS up in here.

Booze, blow, prostitutes, old ladies ... one of the hallowed traditions of the Wolf Pack is to save the sickest, most depraved debauchery for the end credits, and that noble heritage is upheld for this weekend's "The Hangover Part III."

While director Todd Phillips eschews his traditional still photograph montage, the bro excess is chronicled in a brief one-minute scene after the final credits have rolled for a minute or so. When last we saw Alan (Zach Galifianakis), he was about to walk down the aisle with his sassy lady love Cassie (Melissa McCarthy) ... but when they fade back up the house from his wedding is completely destroyed, stuff is on fire, there's a motorcycle lodged in the window, etc.

Phil (Bradley Cooper) wakes up with a raging headache mumbling, "What the f**k?" Alan and Cassie wake up looking confused, too. Doug (Justin Bartha), naturally, is nowhere to be seen.

That's when Stu (Ed Helms) emerges from the bathroom with his shirt off to reveal that he's now owner of a glorious rack thanks to some spontaneous plastic surgery he can't remember. "Great, now I have tits!" he yells. Phil, pretty mortified, asks "What did you do, Alan?!"

Alan thinks for a moment, then: "The wedding cake ... Chow sent the wedding cake ..."

Heeding his cue, a sword-wielding Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) then emerges from a back room, completely naked (you can totes see his chode), his face caked in cocaine and yells, "That was one crazy f**kin' night, you guys!"

Cut to Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight," and that's a wrap.

This final little coda mos def nabbed the biggest laughs of the screening we attended. While "The Hangover Part II" was in no uncertain terms a complete rehash of the first film with a Thai twist, "Part III" distinguishes itself by being a straightforward action-comedy. You don't get any drunken antics — besides Chow doing all the cocaine in the world and parachuting off Caesars Palace — and the "ending" punks the audience into thinking the Wolf Pack were actually going to go out on a sentimental ode to friendship. That's not how they roll.

So kudos to Phillips and co-writer Craig Mazin for giving us this last little button that underlines how far into self-parody "The Hangover" movies would go if they continued, and, yes, one last hilarious kick in the nuts.

Paramount

WARNING: SPOILERS RUNNING FREE.

Generally speaking, bad guys are bad guys because they want to do bad things and get away with them, so if you see one get caught in the middle of a movie it usually means they've got an ace up their sleeve. Lately we've been seeing this trend of the bad guy getting caught on purpose (capture, interrogation, threat, destruction, escape) in big tentpole blockbusters, and either every copy of Final Draft has a glitch that automatically pastes that into a script … or folks are getting lazy.

Seeing as how it's used once again in "Star Trek Into Darkness," let's cite five recent examples of this cliché in the hopes that we can declare a moratorium on it ... at least until it counts as nostalgia.

Culprit #1: 'The Dark Knight' (2008)

Mastermind: The Joker (Heath Ledger)
The Plan: Get caught while attempting to kill District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), locked in the Gotham City Major Crimes Unit and interrogated by Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Batman (Christian Bale); threaten them with Dent and Rachel Dawes' (Maggie Gyllenhaal) death by explosion; take a hostage and use him to make a phone call so phone activates a bomb sewn into one of your gang members; abscond with the police informant/mob accountant Lau (Chin Han).
Does It Work?: Why yes, like clockwork. It's not until later that the Joker's plans begin to unravel thanks to Batman's tapping every cell phone in Gotham (cheating!), but that's not the point. What makes the Joker such an effective adversary is his seeming death wish, the fact that he doesn't really give a hoot whether he lives or dies. That's why Batman has nothing to threaten him with during the interrogation; he's simply "an agent of chaos," and one slippery little bugger.

Culprit #2: 'Law Abiding Citizen' (2009)

Mastermind: Clyde Alexander Shelton (Gerard Butler)
The Plan: Gruesomely murder the man who killed your wife and daughter; videotape it; call the police on yourself; get jailed for contempt of court; kill your cellmate so you'll be put in solitary; use secret passageways leading from solitary to the auto garage you own next to the prison; go on massive killing spree; return to cell; repeat.
Does It Work?: Yeah, for a while, until Rice (the lawyer Shelton's tormenting, played by Jamie Foxx) learns about Shelton's little tunnel operation and uses the bomb Shelton planted at City Hall to blow up Shelton. "Law Abiding Citizen" wasn't the biggest hit in the world, but could've basically been called "Bad Guy Caught On Purpose: The Movie."

Culprit #3: 'Marvel's The Avengers' (2012)

Mastermind: Loki (Tom Hiddleston)
The Plan: Create a huge disturbance in Germany to draw in The Avengers;  get taken aboard a Quinjet to their big ol' Helicarrier in the sky; get interrogated by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Natasha Romanof (Scarlett Johansson) while locked inside a glass cell; have Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and your other possessed agents attack the Helicarrier; trigger a Hulk-out in Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo); entrap Thor (Chris Hemsworth)/eject him from the ship; and escape.
Does It Work?: Yes and no, but it's definitely a "fool me twice shame on me" situation. Here the Villain Caught On Purpose (VCOP) device gets incorporated into another post-"The Silence of the Lambs" thing of having the nasty psychopath behind a big pane of glass. It's a cool image because it decreases the perceived safety net, and here has the double purpose of being ejected out of the ship and nearly killing poor Thor. It doesn't kill Thor, though, nor anyone else (except Agent Coulson, *PFFT* whatever), and the Helicarrier is damaged but still flying by the end. And, ultimately, instead of being the event that cripples The Avengers, it actually rallies them together. D'OH!

Culprit #4: 'Skyfall' (2012)

Mastermind: Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem)
The Plan: Lead James Bond (Daniel Craig) to abandoned island lair (natch); make a pass at him; kill a prostitute; get captured by helicopters, taken back to MI6 in London and interrogated by M (Judi Dench) while locked inside a glass cell; show everyone your gross-ass teeth; have your confiscated laptop trigger your escape during decryption; disguise yourself as a police officer; throw a train at Bond; and sashay into a court of inquiry to shoot M.
Does It Work?: Not really. This time the VCOP seems truly devious but in actuality fails at Silva scoring his primary target of M, and her later death seems more accidental than anything else as it occurs after Silva already be dead. That's, like, a lot of planning for very little reward. Despite all the razmataz, it seems like the only thing Silva really accomplishes in this movie is getting to blow up a few buildings and feel up James Bond.

Culprit #5: 'Star Trek Into Darkness' (2013)

Mastermind: John Harrison, aka Khan Noonien Singh (Benedict Cumberbatch)
The Plan: Kill a ton of Starfleet commanders in a brutal helicopter hit straight out of "The Godfather Part III"; lead Kirk (Chris Pine) to your hideout on Klingon planet Kronos; kill at least three dozen Klingons in front of Kirk and Spock (Zachary Quinto) before giving yourself up freely; get interrogated by them while locked inside a glass cell aboard the Enterprise; lead them to uncover the bodies of your crew in the torpedoes and massive secret warship Vengeance; allow Vengeance to nearly destroy Enterprise until Scotty (who you didn't know existed) sabotages their engines, giving Kirk the opportunity to set you loose to help him take out the spartan Vengeance crew because he's dumb enough to think letting you run amok on a warship is a good idea. Oh, if there's time, blow up Enterprise and crash ship into Starfleet headquarters.
Does It Work?: Jesus, so many questions. Why is Khan's crew in the torpedoes? How would Khan know the Vengeance wouldn't kill everybody including his sorry ass? Why would anyone in their right mind not know that Khan was dangerous after killing half the Starfleet high command and a squad of Klingons single-handedly? Screw logic, all these things happen because J.J. Abrams, the Uri Geller of filmmaking, wants them to happen, and he hopes you won't think about them for even one second.

We have a feeling this whole thing about bad guys giving themselves up on purpose started with John Doe (Kevin Spacey) walking casually into the police station caked in blood in the 1995 thriller "Se7en," only to later spring the whole "head in the box" trap on Brad Pitt. Hopefully this lamebrained "Trek" is the last straw for VCOP, clear-cell interrogations and bad guys in torpedoes.

Getty Images

Who needs "300"-style Spartan abs when you can just blow robots up with your telekinetic powers?

That's a question you'll have to ask Gerard Butler, since according to Deadline he and his abs are in negotiations to replace Liam Hemsworth as the lead in Universal's feature version of sci-fi short "The Raven." No relation to that bird crap John Cusack movie of the same name, or the Lou Reed album either.

And, no, it's not the same movie as "The Crow," either. Nice try.

Ricardo de Montreuil's 6-minute futuristic conspiracy thriller exploded the internet in 2010, looking like a legit summer blockbuster right out of the gate with its combo of well-integrated CGI, tight action and lens flares galore. The calling card announced in de Montreuil a perfect blend of Neill Blomkamp meets Michael Bay, even though its plot of dystopian government types using machines to hunt down a super-powered fugitive was nothing we hadn't seen before. "Minority Report"? "The Island"? "THX-1138"? Anyone? Bueller?

Gerard Butler is perhaps the most "treading water" movie star there is, taking on middle-of-the-road fare like "The Bounty Hunter" and "Olympus Has Fallen" which don't really exploit the potential we saw in "300." Considering that, "The Raven" seems to fit right into his wheelhouse, i.e. high concept, derivative, action-oriented. The age-shift from young bucks like Hemsworth and original lead Victor Lopez to 43-year-old Butler as a telepath-on-the-run will no doubt require a script polish, and perhaps more personal oxygen bars on set.

As for Hemsworth abandoning the project, seems his allegiance is to another bird, the mockingjay, and may the odds be ever in his favor. He'll have his hands full with "Hunger Games" sequels and the occasional street brawl.

Getty Images

The lovely and talented Lake Bell has been a mainstay of film and television for over a decade, stealing scenes in films like "No Strings Attached" and on television series such as "Childrens Hospital" and "How to Make it in America." This week she's an average girl out for a weekend of fun who finds herself in a battle for survival in the indie thriller "Black Rock."

We had an exclusive 1-on-1 with Bell to discuss shooting a film without bathrooms, girl talk during life or death situations, her directorial debut "In a World ... " and her continuing quest to one day play Wonder Woman. 

LD Entertainment

Was the shoot for "Black Rock" as isolated as it looks? Were you guys confined to this island location?
We shot in Milbridge, Maine, which is an incredibly tiny town. Not only is it really tiny but we were sequestered to the girl's cabin and then the boys were in the boy's cabin. We lived in really tight quarters, there were no trailers. There were no bathrooms, for that matter. There were not sets, we were just using the woods as backdrop for everything we did, and the little coastal beaches. It was the antithesis of any project I've ever done. It was very bare-bones, everybody had to be really game. It was just suit up, shut up and have a good time.

Did that confinement effect the psychology of the performances at all?
Naturally, yes. We shot chronologically, which is very rare, you never get to do that. That was a huge benefit for us because we could emotionally psyche ourselves up for these challenging milestones in the movie.

It's such a major tonal shift, hard to imagine doing a scene from the relatively placid first 30-minutes and then later that day shooting something intense from the last act.
Exactly.

There have been a lot of rape-revenge films like this dating back to the '70s with movies like "I Spit on Your Grave" or "Mother's Day." What did director/star Katie Aselton and screenwriter Mark Duplass do to put a new spin on an old tune?
You take Mark and Katie, who do a very specific thing. They're very relevant and they're very current, the thing that they do which is utterly theirs, and a lot of people bite off what they try to do. Taking the energy and tone of their kinds of movies and injecting the thriller genre to them makes it hugely unique from any film of this ilk. It's sort of a trick on the audience, because it starts from a Duplass type of place and energy, then the spirit of the movie takes a big shift, obviously. When the stakes go from emotional stakes between girls figuring out relationship issues to the very literal stakes of who wants to live more. [Laughs]

LD Entertainment

You and Katie have this exchange when you're being hunted which I called the "girl talk" moment where you're apologizing for sleeping with her boyfriend and all that. If you, Lake Bell, were in that same situation would you maybe save those conversations for later?
Look, what's eerily realistic about that scene … and we're not used to seeing it in films because usually once the action starts we want to continue with the action. What ruptures that is this hiatus in the movie's action moment to snuff out an emotional beat in the story. It is very Katie and Mark of them to do that. In real life if there's a hostage situation or your house is broken into there are moments where it's still two people who have the relationships they have. There's sometimes levity, there's sometimes comedy. There's sometimes moments of pause. Sometimes people have to pee! They never show just moments of other life happening while the stakes are still f**kin' high. I think it’s a very bold choice to have that scene. It makes some people potentially uncomfortable because you're thinking, "Well the movie should be a train forward now!" What makes it difficult to watch is its building tension from your concern for their well-being.

More than any of the three girls, your character Lou goes from being very impish and whimsical to this determined warrior. You've made this clear in the past, but just want to reiterate that should "Justice League" ever get off its ass at Warner Bros. you'd be a fantastic Wonder Woman.
Thank you, that's awesome! That is a secret dream of mine.

Getty Images

Not that secret! You made that proclamation a few years ago.
I said it so randomly at Comic-Con then it was definitely a thing for a second. It's so funny because you say those things in passing, stupidly … 'cause I was there for comedy, I wasn't there for anything else, but it was at Comic-Con so people were like, "Oh, wait a second, Lake Bell's making a play for something." But yeah, it's totally a fantasy to be a superhero and to kick some f**kin' ass.

What is it specifically about Diana and her star-spangled underwear that appeals to you?
I mean, I think growing up I thought she was the most remarkable person ever, so it's more nostalgia than anything else. To play a superhero in your core you have to have a little bit of a sense of humor because you have to suspend disbelief and lean into something that's an icon. It was initially a drawing to embody a concept, and you have to have some playful spark in you.

Jon Hamm is obviously an amazing actor, and he'd said he wouldn't do a lead role in a movie unless the right thing came along. You're in "Million Dollar Arm" with him — what makes that "the right thing" for him and for you?
Jon is a friend of mine so I'm so jazzed to be in another situation where I'm making a movie with pals. At the end of the day making a movie should be fun! It is a cool job to have, and we shouldn't take it too seriously, especially if you're making a movie that's supposed to have that levity and camaraderie, and "Million Dollar Arm" is a feel-good movie. It's based on a true story, and I think it's a super-cool move for Jon to take on this role. The character is going through his own emotional journey that happened in real life. He starts off as someone who doesn't value certain things in life and then learns to take hints and cues from people who are unlikely candidates for wisdom.

Roadside Attractions

Your feature directorial debut "In a World ..." got great notices and the Waldo Salt Award at Sundance. The people who've seen it think it could really take off if it's handled right distribution-wise. Do you have a good plan of attack to get that out there?
First of all, thank you. I'm sitting here doing these interviews talking about "In a World ..." and can only be filled with pride and respect for the people that helped me make it. It's a little movie I feel people are really enjoying. That gives me that overwhelming feeling of being happy to be here. Winning an award or selling the movie were massive bonuses, but just being at Sundance alone was the prize.

Now you have to get it out there, get some butts in the seats.
Amen, brother! Let's do this! It's coming out August 9 and we do have a really cool plan of attack, but I hope that it will roll out the way it's supposed to roll out. Certainly all my friends who were in it who were kind enough to lend their talents to be in the movie are excited to promote it.

Would you pull a Zach Braff and utilize Kickstarter to get your next directorial project off the ground?
Kickstarter was actually responsible for post-production on my little short film that I did when I was first starting out. I self-financed the whole thing then just needed help with post-production because I literally tapped out my pocketbook, but it was worth every penny because it has become my loving calling card for me as a director and got me to Sundance in the first place.

Greetings from the apocalypse! The trouble with Tribbles is not how cute they are but how much they multiply, or in the case of "Star Trek Into Darkness," the silly plot point for which they cameo. That's the only thing I'll spoil from that movie (besides that it stinks), but luckily there's some sweet alternatives this week that boldly go where no J.J. Abrams movie has gone before … coherence.

Friday, May 17

Paramount

POW! IN THEATERS
Oh boy. "Star Trek Into Dumbness" finally fulfills J.J. Abrams' five-year mission to run this franchise through a Cuisinart of stupidity. I would need a spoiler avalanche to make a proper case for how this sequel squanders classic characters and scenarios from previous films on a story that merely serves as flimsy pretext to stage set pieces that make even less sense. Fortunately, life is too short. As in 2009's "Star Trek," the cast is aces, including Chris Pine coming into his own as Kirk, even as Abrams has him making bonehead decisions that would deem one unfit for canoeing in the Special Olympics, let alone captaining a friggin' starship. The perpetually boring Benedict Sourpatch doesn't hold a candle to … well, whatever classic villain he "might" be playing, maybe. Unrelenting momentum, lame 9/11 allegories and Tribble cameos don't make up for bad storytelling. What's in the mystery box? Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
Those looking to glue on your Vulcan ears and seriously Trek-out this weekend will want to dig on William Shatner's 2011 documentary "The Captains" on Netflix Streaming. This odyssey has the original captain of the Starship Enterprise flying all over creation interviewing all the subsequent "Star Trek" captains, including Sir Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Kate Mulgrew and Scott Bakula, as well as an extended arm-wrestling match with Chris Pine in front of Paramount Studios. No joke. It also allows William Shatner to come to terms with the fact that "Captain Kirk" and "Beam me up Scotty" will likely be the epitaph etched on his tombstone. He seems cool with it. Also, if you've never seen it, check out "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan," also streaming on Instant … it just might be a handy primer for "Into Darkness." Just … maybe.

Paramount

BASIC CABLE BLUES
This is your one-stop shop for all Trekking needs, since we got "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" AND "Star Trek: First Contact" back-to-back at 3 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. on SyFy. A best-of-both-worlds scenario gives you the swan song of the classic Original Cast ("OC" to the cool people) followed by certainly the best installment with the "Next Generation" crew as they battle The Borg and find themselves in a time-travel situation as humans encounter Vulcans for the first time. "Star Trek VI" also sees the return of "Wrath of Khan" director Nicholas Meyer, who seemed to always bring out the best in Shatner and the gang.

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
It's a good weekend to be an American living on the upper left-hand side of our map with two equally cool fests starting with the Seattle International Film Festival. The birthplace of Starbucks and flannel-clad grunge will rock its way inside your heart-shaped box from May 16-June 9, starting with opening night film "Much Ado About Nothing" (I've seen it; Joss Whedon nails it), and closing with the American premiere of Sofia Coppola's "The Bling Ring." Guests of honor this year are weirdo director Peter Greenaway ("The Pillow Book") and "Twin Peaks" icon/"Showgirls" not-so-icon Kyle MacLachlan, who will no doubt regale the audience with tales from the "Flintstones" movie.

Just below Seattle, Washington lies its grittier hipster cousin Portland, Oregon, which is right now playing host to The Return to NoirVille at Cinema 21. The final week of dishy dames and the men who do wrong for them includes classic black-and-white fare like "Laura" and "The Postman Always Rings Twice" alongside more contemporary neo noirs like the Coen Brothers' "Blood Simple" and Robert Altman's "The Long Goodbye."

Saturday, May 18

IFC

POW! IN THEATERS
Imagine the HBO show "Girls" if those twentysomething Brooklynites were enjoyable/funny people (instead of being reprehensible beyond all measure) and you get the delightful "Frances Ha," this week's most recommended "Survivor of Thunderdome." Director Noah Baumbach and star Greta Gerwig collaborated on this story of a wayward aspiring dancer at the ass-end of her twenties trying to reconcile career lows and undateability with her friends' thriving adulthood. Sam Levy's gorgeous black & white photography harkens back to Woody Allen's "Manhattan," as does the non-stop bon mots that could fill three or four lesser comedies. Baumbach gets stronger with each picture, and after the misanthropy of "Greenberg" this feels like an effervescent breath of fresh air.

PODCASTAWAY
As if I wasn't excited enough about convincing you to go see Greta Gerwig being cute over the Enterprise getting torpedoed for two hours, über-popular podcaster Marc Maron had Noah Baumbach (apparently pronounced "bowm-back") in his cat ranch garage for a cool episode of "WTF" this week. All you What the F**kers, What the F**kbuddies and What the F**knicks can dazzle at this bubbly hour-long chat as Maron probes the director on "The Squid and the Whale," divorce, dating Gerwig, collaborating with Wes Anderson and getting emotional over Wikipedia summaries of movies. You can download the podcast for free at iTunes or at the WTF homepage.

Focus Features

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
"Our daughter's been abducted by one of these beige lunatics!" That would be Bill Murray upset at the Khaki Scouts who have absconded with his 12-year-old Suzie so she can elope with her equally precocious 12-year-old boyfriend Sam in "Moonrise Kingdom," which premieres on HBO at 7:15 p.m. Wes Anderson's arch stylings have been known to alienate some as "too twee for his own good," but this charming '60s-set romp has proved to be his most accessible film since "The Royal Tenenbaums." Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman and some truly gorgeous Rhode Island coastline co-star. If you doubt how much I dig this movie, check out the Oscar campaign poster I did last year, why don'tcha?

LOCAL EVENTURES
Harvard Square ain't for squares tonight and tomorrow as "Coraline" author Neil Gaiman and his goth pixie Dresden Doll of a wife Amanda F**king Palmer present "You Show Me Yours, I’ll Show You Mine: The Neil & Amanda Double Features" at the Brattle Theater in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Apparently Neil has chosen two films that Amanda hasn't seen (Lindsay Anderson’s "If …" and Peter Greenaway’s "Drowning By Numbers") while Amanda has chosen two films Neil is ignorant of (Alejandro Jodorowsky’s "Santa Sangre" and Philippe de Broca’s "King of Hearts"). Amanda's picks will run tonight starting at 6:30 p.m. while Neil's double feature unspools at 6:30 p.m. Sunday. I personally recommend "If …" for its shattering portrait of life at an English parochial school that prefigured Columbine by 30 years.

Sunday, May 19

LD Entertainment

YOU DOWN WITH VOD?
The rape revenge genre gets a feminist twist in the new thriller "Black Rock" on VOD and in very select theaters. Katie Aselton, Lake Bell and Kate Bosworth play a trio of old friends who try to sort out their personal issues with a weekend on a remote Maine island, where they encounter a trio of bulky ex-military dudes hunting; one thing leads to another and … the girls become their prey. Etc Etc. The twist comes less with the plot than via the Mumblecore sensibility that director/star Aselton and writer Mark Duplass bring to it. The ballsiest choice comes at the height of the tension when these women are naked, being stalked, huddled against a tree in the dark ... and they stop for six minutes to have a "girl talk moment." You won't see John Rambo doin' that s**t, that's for sure.

BASIC CABLE BLUES
It's been a while since we've seen the once-promising Kate Bosworth, but with her blockbuster days perhaps behind her (thanks, "Superman Returns") it's good to have something like "Black Rock" to remind us the girl can act. If you want to catch Bosworth during the peak of her hot streak, check out the 2002 surfing drama "Blue Crush" at 4 p.m. on E! as she, Michelle Rodriguez and actual real-life surfer Sanoe Lake hanging ten on Hawaii's famed North Shore.

A24

NEW ON BLU
I enjoyed writer/director Roman Coppola's Charlie Sheen vehicle "A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III" in all its flawed, kitschy glory back in January, so why not mix yourself up a Brandy Alexander to soak up this novelty item on Blu-ray, yes? It's not very often that a director shoots a large portion of a film at his own house, but Coppola used budgetary restraints to his advantage by cramming a lot of personal mementos (knick-knacks, outfits, photos, art, his own baby, etc.) throughout and makes note of them in fond nostalgic detail on the commentary track. A couple short-but-sweet supplemental docs tout the making of the picture as a genuine love-fest, as well as a tribute to the great '70s era of commercial airbrush artists. Lovely.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Disney

So apparently the suits at Disney have given up and are like, "Fiiiiine, we'll make Merida an un-hot ginger."

The controversy, which first reared its head earlier this week when a more slim-trim/glammy Merida from "Brave" was unveiled for her coronation as a Disney World Princess, has resulted in fan outcry that ultimately led the Mouse House to tell Inside the Magic that the redesign was strictly a "one-time stylized version" that will only be used on a "limited line of products" for Target.

While the studio claims the backlash was "blown out of proportion," it's fair to say that when the lady who won an Oscar for "Brave," Brenda Chapman, is calling you out for sexism it might be time to prick up your ears.

Fans have a history of anger at the first sign of change in an iconic character (see Bat nipples in "Batman and Robin," or the lack of Super underwear in "Man of Steel"), but the sexification of Merida was particularly odious given that the whole intention behind the Scottish lass was to break the mold of size 0, hourglass heroines who have to be rescued by Prince Charming.

""When little girls say they like it because it's more sparkly, that's all fine and good but, subconsciously, they are soaking in the sexy 'come hither' look and the skinny aspect of the new version," Chapman told her hometown paper, the Marin Independent Journal. "It's horrible! Merida was created to break that mold — to give young girls a better, stronger role model, a more attainable role model, something of substance, not just a pretty face that waits around for romance."

Although representatives from Pixar have not commented on the situation, we hope they'll use their creative autonomy to really piss off the Disney brass by making "Brave 2" with a much older, braver Merida proudly rocking a FUPA.

The biggest problem with the "Star Wars" prequels (besides, you know, Jar-Jar) was in the intervening 15 years between episodes fans had basically made those movies in their heads, and nothing could live up to the majesty of whatever they had concocted.

Luckily, J.J. Abrams has taken that into consideration, and seems open to taking suggestions directly from fanboys as he crafts "Star Wars Episode VII," as in last night's interview with Jimmy Kimmel where he took pointers from a guy with a light saber and a fat dude in Slave Leia drag (natch). And, surprise, O.G. "Star Trek" stars Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian) and William Shatner popped up to offer their own expert opinions.

As far as audience plants go, Billy Dee was about as smooth as a cold Colt 45, pitching Abrams on 2 hours of straight up sexy Lando action. While Williams clearly still has the moves (he suggested that the movie be "all Lando"), Abrams took the biggest shine to the thought of shoehorning Captain Kirk into the "Star Wars" universe… based on a script by Shatner, of course.

Is it too late to throw our hat into the ring and suggest Eli Roth do a Jar-Jar Binks/"Hostel" crossover movie with lots and lots of Gungan torture porn? Darth Vader and Boba Fett could take turns with the blowtorch. Just a suggestion.

Marvel

Can you say "'Iron Man 2" reunion"?

As much as we'd like to forget that particular sequel confection, all the essential ingredients of it were solid (except perhaps the gamey taste of Mickey Rourke), so it makes our mouth water to learn via The Hollywood Reporter that the delectable Scarlett Johansson will be assembling with Avenger Robert Downey Jr. for star/director Jon Favreau's "Chef."

The indie comedy, which is currently being sold at Cannes based on the aroma of its cast, will also feature Sofia Vergara, John Leguizamo and Bobby Cannavale. The plot revolves around Favreau's chef Carl Casper who loses his restaurant gig and cooks up a food truck business in order to simultaneously reawaken the artist within and reconcile with his family.

Sounds like a lot on the menu, but for dessert you have Molly (Johansson), a "restaurant manager and love interest of Favreau’s character." Seems Favs wanted a few smooches as recompense for that boxing ring throwdown Black Widow gave Happy Hogan in "Iron Man 2." Who can blame him?

"Scarlett is a tremendous talent and I'm honored to be collaborating with her again. I'm so fortunate to be working with such a fine ensemble," said Favreau of the casting.

If you saw the amount of jelly belly Favreau put on between "Iron Man 2" and "Iron Man Three" then you know he's been hard at work "preparing" for his role as a culinary wizard. There's definitely a part of us that fondly remembers his old IFC show "Dinner for Five" and thinks instead of a movie he should do a straight up Julia Child-style cooking show called "Someone's in the Kitchen With Favs."

"I'm not gonna even go to these conventions anymore, I'm just gonna sit on your lap."

That's Jon Stewart speaking for pretty much all of us to "Lost" mogul J.J. Abrams on how flabbergasted he is that one man gets to control the fates of both the "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" properties during a very engaged 12-minute geek-out on "The Daily Show" to promote "Star Trek Into Darkness."

Part of the unedited nerdgasm between the two that beamed its way online delves into the more philosophical underpinnings of "Star Trek" and how the future setting was used allegorically to underline aspects of contemporary society. Abrams explains that he wanted to up the action quotient without warping that underlying thoughtfulness, and perhaps have less Styrofoam sets.

As for the "Wars" he's marshaling, Abrams explained, "We're delving now, but it's so early I have nothing to talk about other than it's exciting."

Stewart takes the opportunity to ask if Abrams sees him as a potential "Jedi figure," to talk shop about his own script for "Rosewater," and the joys of working on "Death to Smoochy."

The best moment comes at the end when Abrams does a Jedi mind trick on Stewart, waving his hand and uttering, "You don't want to be in 'Star Wars.'"

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Separated at birth? Long-lost twins? Vague coincidence? It's all possible when actors look so alike they could be siblings.

Is that Zachary Quinto, the Chief Science Officer of "Star Trek Into Darkness," running from the horror of "Aftershock"? Ah, no, at second glance, that's actually Quinto's doppelganger, Eli Roth, the man who gave us "Cabin Fever" and shot Hitler full o' holes in "Inglourious Basterds."

Anyway, with "Aftershock" and the new "Trek" being released back-to-back, we figured this was the perfect time to match up our favorite Hollywood doubles as they compete for roles, attention and DNA. It's like looking into a mirror!

If you think your eyes are starting to play tricks on you, think of this like that Olsen Twins movie "It Takes Two," but without Steve Guttenberg.

Leighton Meester & Minka Kelly

Luscious "Gossip Girl" star Meester might be "Country Strong," but she more than met her match in Minka Kelly, who shone on "Friday Night Lights" as the lovely Lyla Garrity. The two of them actually got to face off, "Single White Female"-style, in 2011's horror thriller "The Roommate," when they entered freshman orientation together — but only one came out alive. Easy, ladies!

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Logan Marshall-Green & Tom Hardy

After the one-three punch of "Bronson," "Inception" and "Warrior," Tom Hardy was the hunk du jour in Hollywood, but now a nearly identical upstart is nipping at his heels. After treading the boards Off- (and occasionally Off-Off-) Broadway, relative newcomer (and NextFactor highlight) Logan Marshall-Green began wriggling his way to the big time last summer via Ridley Scott's "Prometheus." Of course, Hardy's Bane in "The Dark Knight Rises" could probably throat-punch an alien to death with his eyes closed.

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Carey Mulligan & Michelle Williams

It's all about the gorgeous swan-like necks. Carey and Michelle could not be more different as actors; the former has an old-school, boisterous lightness while the latter, in both real life and on film, is introspective, reserved, even ethereal. We almost did a double-take in 2011 when Mulligan was seen on screen with Williams' "Blue Valentine" sweetheart Ryan Gosling in "Drive."

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Javier Bardem & Jeffrey Dean Morgan

In their signature roles as Anton Chigurh in "No Country For Old Men" and The Comedian in "Watchmen," respectively, Bardem and Morgan pull off striking, bull-in-a-china-shop characters whose moral compasses have long since been flushed down the toilet. Oddly, strewn across their paths of destruction we find very real human fragments to latch onto ... and that's not on the page, it's in the performances. Still, we wouldn't want to run into either of these tough customers in a dark alley.

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Josh Duhamel & Timothy Olyphant

These doppelgangers have yet to cross paths on screen, but when they do, it's sure to be electric. Olyphant first captured our attention as the lead in HBO's foulmouthed fan-favorite "Deadwood," then graduated to playing men of dubious intent in flicks like "Live Free or Die Hard." Duhamel is more the average all-American Joe type, playing a soldier for the "Transformers" trilogy and romantic leads in fluff like "Safe Haven." Does the U.S. Marshal on "Justified" need a half-brother?

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Teresa Palmer & Kristen Stewart

Palmer has nearly nabbed roles in "Justice League," "Mad Max" and the "Spider-Man" movies, but this talented blonde will forever be in the shadow of her movie duplicate, Kristen Stewart. Despite different hair, they share a shocking resemblance. Palmer may be catching up to Stewart, though, as she recently starred as a human who swoons over a member of the undead (a zombie this time, in "Warm Bodies").

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Penélope Cruz & Paz Vega

When you first saw "Spanglish" (if you did at all), you might have been wondering how they decided to pair Penélope Cruz with Adam Sandler, of all people. Well, after careful examination of the credits, turns out it wasn't Cruz at all — *SHOCK* — but another gorgeous Spanish actress, Paz Vega. Only two years apart, these two need to get Pedro Almodóvar to write a movie where they're sisters, pronto. C'mon, Pedro, maybe sisters with a gay transvestite mother, hmm?

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Michael Cera & Jesse Eisenberg

When did nerds stop seeking revenge on their jock oppressors and start warring amongst each other? Okay, so technically these two haven't directly engaged in combat, verbal or Thunderdome-style ... but there are still many who believe that when it comes to Cera & Eisenberg, two men enter, one man leaves. Despite the current Jesse-positive climate thanks to that little "The Social Network" movie and the upcoming "Now You See Me," these are both super-young dudes with plenty of awkwardness left to give.

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Chris Hemsworth & Chris Pine

Playing father and son in 2009's "Star Trek" may have tipped these two Chrises off that they kinda sorta look alike. Hemsworth made his film debut playing James T. Kirk's ill-fated papa George for a scant few minutes, but it gave him the oomph he needed to impress the Marvel brass to pin him as The God of Freakin' Thunder, "Thor." Pine had to delicately dance around the iconic Shatner characterizations to make the Starship Enterprise his own, but he did, and has been unstoppable ever since.

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Zachary Quinto & Eli Roth

Pine's pointy-eared shipmate Spock was almost always a lock for Quinto, whom fans immediately pegged as a dead-on lookalike for Leonard Nimoy after he made his name on "Heroes." But Zachary also resembles our favorite bloodthirsty writer-director Eli Roth. When he's not hanging out in cabins or hostels, Roth occasionally moonlights on-screen for pals like Quentin Tarantino, for whom he relished machine-gunning Hitler in "Inglourious Basterds."

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Zooey Deschanel & Katy Perry

Now that Katy Perry is acting (she played super-hot Smurfette in "The Smurfs") and divorced from a famous husband, there may literally be nothing that separates her from her big-eyed mirror-image, Zooey Deschanel. Though Perry may be the bigger musical superstar for now, the swoon-worthy "New Girl" has been known to belt it out when she performs as one-half of She & Him, so watch out, Katy.

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Alan Cumming & Paul Reubens

And speaking of Smurfs, we finally found two fellas who have come to terms with their lookalike status by agreeing to be in the same movie. In "The Smurfs" Reubens played the gag-gifting Jokey Smurf, while Cumming portrayed the newest character, Gutsy Smurf. Although these were voice-only roles, it was only a matter of time before these two get together for realsies (like they did at the "Pee-Wee" premiere on Broadway). Maybe if the show reopens, Cumming could appear as the depressive younger brother, WeePee Herman, who cries a lot?

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Originally published February 2, 2011.

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A few years ago actress Lake Bell dropped a bombshell on fanboys at San Diego ComicCon when she declared that she had the moxy (and the guns) to play Wonder Woman. Since then the role has been occupied by Adrianne Palicki in a famously failed TV pilot and by Kimberly Kane in a XXX parody.

Sounds like the big-screen iteration of the gig is still available, and there's still a glimmer of hope that someday, DC's long-delayed "Justice League" movie will actually be produced. During an interview promoting her survival thriller "Black Rock," we checked in with Bell to find out whether she's still looking to get into the spandex-and-spangles game.

You've made this clear in the past, but just to reiterate that should "Justice League" ever get off its ass at Warner Bros. you'd be a fantastic Wonder Woman.
Thank you, that's awesome! That is a secret dream of mine.

Not that secret! You made that proclamation a few years ago.
I said it so randomly at ComicCon then it was definitely a thing for a second. It's so funny because you say those things in passing, stupidly… 'cause I was there for comedy, I wasn't there for anything else, but it was at ComicCon so people were like, "Oh, wait a second, Lake Bell's making a play for something." But yeah, it's totally a fantasy to be a superhero and to kick some f**kin' ass.

What is it specifically about Diana and her star spangled underwear that appeals to you?
I mean, I think growing up I thought she was the most remarkable person ever, so it's more nostalgia than anything else. To play a superhero in your core you have to have a little bit of a sense of humor because you have to suspend disbelief and lean into something that's an icon. It was initially a drawing to embody a concept, and you have to have some playful spark in you.

Make of that what you will, but if this summer's "Man of Steel" hits as big as we think it will, expect Warners to finally  let their "Justice League" off the leash and, at the very very least, give Bell a courtesy call. 

Greetings from the apocalypse! This is an exciting week for me, since I'm making my art gallery debut and all — I'm celebrating with two docs covering cool artistic subcultures (gig posters and tattooing), as well as a hella ton of Mother's Day recommends. Let's get to it, shall we, old sport? Yep yep.

Friday, May 10

Warner Bros.

POW! IN THEATERS
Glam filmmaker Baz Luhrmann's reimagining of F. Scott Fitzgerald's timeless Jazz-age romance "The Great Gatsby" looks like my 11th grade book report had sex with a disco ball, but that's par for the course. Luhrmann had previously razzle-dazzled "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" and reunites with Leonardo DiCaprio as enigmatic rich dude Jay Gatsby, clinging to the memory of a past dalliance with Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan). Clinging tragically, that is … What? Hey, it's an 88-year-old book, the statute of limitations on spoilers ran out quite a few decades ago. You can watch Gatsby die in 3-D, appropriate since critical consensus points to this old sport being the first box office casualty of the summer.

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
While words like "restrained" and "subdued" aren't part of Baz Luhrmann's vocabulary, they aptly describe the previous 1974 attempt at "The Great Gatsby" starring '70s golden boy Robert Redford, available on Netflix Streaming. Come for the lingering shots of palatial mansions and longing gazes, stay for the erudite bon mots and racism. Woody Allen's ex-muse Mia Farrow plays Daisy, while the screenplay was adapted by none other than "The Godfather" director Francis Ford Coppola.

*SPECIAL EVENT*
Speaking of lavish parties, my pals over at Bottleneck Gallery in Brooklyn, NY are throwing a humdinger tonight as they open their latest movie-themed art show "I Love You Man" from 7-10pm. You can get your bromance on with depictions of cinema's best buds, including "Three Amigos," Han and Chewie of "Star Wars" and Jules and Vincent of "Pulp Fiction," among many others. Those who attend opening night get first dibs on limited prints, which go online for purchase tomorrow (the 11th) at noon, and YOURS TRULY has a piece in this show as well, from a certain classic Steven Spielberg movie. As fellow artist James Franco would say, "Look at all my S**T!"

Netflix

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
If you want to get clued-in to the hubbub surrounding the current poster subculture, then spend 80 minutes with some of the darlings of the scene via the new doc "Just Like Being There," available on Netflix Streaming. Despite some annoying sound issues, I found this to be an exemplary look at how gig posters capture the spirit of an event, be it a Nada Surf concert or a special Mondo secret screening of "Dawn of the Dead." Awesome artists like Jay Ryan, Daniel Danger and others share their inspirations for flatstock imagery at its finest. Dig it.

Saturday, May 11

YOU DOWN WITH VOD?
All my readers with some ink will want to hit up Yekra to stream (or order on DVD) the new documentary "Tattoo Nation," this week's heartily recommended "Survivor of Thunderdome." It focuses on homegrown American tattoo styles, from black and grey guitar-string prison tattoos to the beautiful color work done by Ed Hardy and company, as well as how Chicano culture shaped what became the archetypal styles of the medium. The highlight is definitely cinematic badass Danny Trejo ("Machete") showing off his tats and accompanying his daughter to get inked. Now that's a cool dad.

BASIC CABLE BLUES
What better pairing with a tattoo doc than a movie where two guys get tanked and wake up with tats, asking themselves "Dude, Where's My Car?" at 10:30 a.m. on FX. The tats in question say "DUDE" and "SWEET," leading to one of the most hilarious miscommunication bits since "Who's on first?" Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott play the leads, before the weight of the world crushed their spirits.

Orion

THE CON IS ON
This is a good weekend for autograph hounds. The Port City Pop Con in Wilmington, North Carolina has Michael Biehn from the likes of "Aliens," "The Terminator," "Planet Terror," et al. If that wasn't enough you also got Ghostbuster extraordinaire Ernie Hudson, Hellboy's skinny buddy Abe Sapien i.e. Doug Jones, Dee Wallace (Elliott's mom from "E.T.") and Richard Edson from motherf**cking "Stranger Than Paradise" … HELLS YEAH!!!

Meanwhile, Virginia is for lovers, but Virginia Beach is for horror as Blood on the Beach reigns in ten actors from "The Devil's Rejects," a "Friday the 13th Part VII" reunion, Doug Bradley a.k.a. Pinhead from "Hellraiser" and the first con appearance from Michael Rappaport. Oh, and lest we forget, former underage porn queen/John Waters regular Traci Lords. Pretty sure she's legal now.

Sunday, May 12 (Mother's Day)

Universal

NEW ON BLU
Why not kick off this Mother's Day with the wildly apropos Blu-ray release of this year's horror hit "Mama." I loved the hell out of this old-fashioned ghost yarn from producer Guillermo del Toro when it dropped in January, with Jessica Chastain all sexily punked out and giving a nasty female specter what for. Gotta hand the filmmakers mad props for following through on an ending that is, while immensely satisfying, not AT ALL what you would expect from a PG-13 studio programmer.

HULU HEAVEN
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade; if life gives you assholes, make a Troma movie." Truer words were never spoken, James Gunn, and why not harken back to the golden era (more like golden shower era) of skeezy old Troma Studios with the cult classic "Mother's Day" (1980), available on HULU fo free, yo. From its skuzzball synth score to choppy editing to truly bizarre performances, this slasher entry has a deranged old hag (Rose Ross) and her hillbilly sons getting their rocks off by torturing three young ladies on a camping trip. It's standard rape revenge fare given a cocaine-enhanced edge of pure concentrated weirdness. Watch it in its entirety below:

BASIC CABLE BLUES
If you're looking for a Mother's Day movie you can actually watch with your mom, why not give the Oscar-winning cuteness of "Juno" a try at 9 a.m. on Oxygen. Adorably sardonic high schooler Ellen Page gets knocked up and opts to give her bun in the oven up to an adoptive couple (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner), despite lingering feelings for her unlikely baby daddy (Michael Cera). Director Jason Reitman and writer Diablo Cody made their mark with this cutesy feminist-friendly love story, but their darker collaboration "Young Adult" is much, much better IMHO.

Paramount

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
It wouldn't be a proper Mother's Day without an unbridled celebration of child abuse, thus IFC is running the 1981 camp fest "Mommie Dearest" four times in a row from noon through 11 p.m. Faye Dunaway plays screen idol Joan Crawford as an OCD bat outta hell, tormenting her young daughter to an inch of her life. "I told you! No wire hangers, ever!"

R.I.P. RAY HARRYHAUSEN
Finally, I just want to pay a quick remembrance to a man that inspired me and innumerable other geeks, dweebs and fantasy nerds with his boundless imagination. You will be missed, Ray Harryhausen, and I won't forget that one afternoon at a theater in Jersey City showing "Jason and the Argonauts" when you took a few minutes out of your day to sign my sketchbook and give me encouragement. See you in the clouds, sir.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Greetings from the apocalypse! Free Comics? An "Iron Man" sequel that doesn't suck? Genre festivals, eccentric painter docs and serial killer biopics? Have I been irradiated and gone to heaven? Nope, it's all happening man, it's all happening …

Friday, May 3

Marvel Studios

POW! IN THEATERS
As a raving fan of Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr.'s first collab, the neo noir comedy "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang," I had hoped that this director/star combo would hit it out of the park with "Iron Man Three." Well, frankly, Shane hit it out of the park and into the stratosphere, mesosphere, ionosphere, etc. Pulpy, groovy, bang-up fun, this is the best cinematic iteration of ol' shellhead yet, and while Joss Whedon got the quipy part right in "Marvel's The Avengers," this one perfectly balances the humor and the pathos that has defined the character since the first film. SO GOOD to see Downey out of the suit and kicking ass. I think this might be the first action movie since "Aliens" to deal head-on with a hero suffering PTSD from the preceding movie. They knew all the traps of bringing a cute kid in, and poked fun at every single one. Gwyneth Paltrow and Rebecca Hall both sizzle (in one case literally), elevating the female leads well beyond damsel in distress territory. The way big baddie The Mandarin is handled is probably gonna piss off hardcore fans, but bully on you Ben Kingsley, you are the coolest dude who ever lived.

HULU HEAVEN
The word "Extremis" may sound like some kind of advanced sports deodorant, but it's actually the near-invincible genetic technology that serves as Tony Stark's primary problem in "Iron Man Three." While the movie deviates significantly from the book, it doesn't stray far from the central ideas writer Warren Ellis and artist Adi Granov created for a 2006 run in the comics, all of which is brought to animated life in "Iron Man: Extremis." This series, available on HULU fo free yo, takes the entire graphic novel and simply animates Granov's art to give those too lazy … er, busy to read a chance to catch up and familiarize themselves with "IM3" characters like Aldrich Killian and Maya Hansen. Here's the first of six episodes below:

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Producer Kevin Feige and his Marvel geek brain trust got the ball rolling on their Movieverse in 2008 with "Iron Man" and "The Incredible Hulk," which air at 7 p.m and 1 p.m. respectively on FX. The first inklings of a cohesive series of crossover films can be found as Nick Fury and Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. hint at that Avenger Initiative, while a clever RDJ cameo in "Hulk" has Tony Stark looking pretty stoked about that team they're putting together. Both films strike a high note in terms of playing Marvel fun with just the right amount of verisimilitude, but if you're a glutton for punishment, you can also "enjoy" its lackluster, Mickey Rourketastrophe sequel "Iron Man 2" Sunday on FX at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.

MGM

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
Robert Downey Jr. isn't the only one getting his hero on this weekend, since Entertainment Weekly's CapeTown Film Festival 2013 is turning red capes into red carpets. Hollywood's Egyptian Theatre has Snake Plissken himself, Kurt Russell, on hand to "Escape From New York" tonight at 7 p.m., while Saturday has three "May the 4th be with you!" screenings of "Return of the Jedi." Sunday is the real treat, with Neil Gaiman presenting "Coraline," Richard Donner never saying die for "The Goonies" and Monty Python madman Terry Gilliam appearing in-person for his dystopian masterpiece "12 Monkeys."

If you prefer your genre fare blood-caked and in as remote a location as possible, then the first-ever Stanley Film Festival is gonna be your jam May 2-5. Located in Estes Park, Colorado in the ominous shadow of the Rocky Mountains, this is the place that inspired both Stephen King's novel and Stanley Kubrick's movie of "The Shining." Actually, that film is shown on continuous loop on guest room televisions. This weekend they're showing it immediately following a screening of doc "Room 237" in a special free outdoor screening with Kubrick's assistant Leon Vitali present. Other creature features include "The Purge," "Black Rock," Elijah Wood's remake of "Maniac," "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" and "V/H/S 2."

Saturday, May 4

Millennium

POW! IN THEATERS
Jeffrey Dahmer, 17 kills; lightweight. John Wayne Gacy, 33 kills; just clownin' around. Richard Kuklinski? This guy murdered well over 100 people, and possibly as many as 250. He was the Babe Ruth of whackin' people for the mafia, or just hobos/random guys off the street for practice. Finally someone has made a movie to memorialize this twisted sunuvabitch's legendary streak from 1948 and 1986, named after his affectionate moniker "The Iceman," since he liked to freeze bodies to disguise time of death. Psycho du jour Michael Shannon plays Kuklinski and Winona Ryder plays his unsuspecting wife, who didn't know the man who fathered her two lovely children was a murder MACHINE. Chris Evans plays his partner in crime and James Franco cameos as his most sadistic kill.

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
TV has more mafia hitmen than you can shake a stick at tonight, with Martin Scorsese's '70s Las Vegas epic "Casino" on Cinemax at 1:30 p.m., but that's just a setup for the main event: the Cable premiere of "Looper" on Starz at 9 p.m. (repeats at 7:40 a.m. Sunday). Rian Johnson's sci-fi Möbius strip pits futuristic mob ice man Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) against an older, balder version of himself (Bruce Willis), but that cool-sounding time travel premise is just a pretense for bigger ideas involving psychokinesis, predestination, memory and loss. If you didn't catch the BEST movie of last year, the time is NOW.

GET LIT!
Every year the comic book industry bands together to make the public at large more aware of their wares with a little somethin'-somethin' called Free Comic Book Day. All day today stores will have plenty of funny books up for grabs, including titles featuring movie heroes like Batman and Superman, "Marvel's The Avengers 2" villain Thanos and a de rigueur Dark Horse "Star Wars" book. Get 'em while they're hot, kids!

Newmarket

LOCAL EVENTURES
Feel the power of love tonight at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco, California where they're engaging a Flux Capacitor for an '80s time travel night Double Feature: "Back to the Future" and "Donnie Darko." Both take place at the ass-end of the Reagan-era when teenage loners (c'mon Marty McFly, what kind of teen hangs out with a wigged-out 70-year-old scientist?) used time travel to change people's fates for the better, or at least to avoid hallucinogenic rabbits. The double feature runs twice starting at 2:30 p.m. and 7 p.m,. or you can stay home from 2:10-8 p.m. since Encore is showing the entire "Back to the Future" trilogy.

For my East Coasters, at 3 p.m. today AFI Silver Theatre in Silver Spring, Maryland has three Buster Keaton shorts with live musical accompaniment by Alloy Orchestra, including Old Stone Face's screen debut in Fatty Arbuckle's "The Butcher Boy," playing a bloody surgeon in "Good Night, Nurse!" and playing every part (including the audience) in "The Play House."

Sunday, May 5

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
I recently caught the 2012 doc "Beauty is Embarrassing" on Netflix Instant, and damn if this wasn't one of the most enjoyable pieces of pure eye candy bliss my eyeballs have absorbed in a good long while! This week's much-recommended "Survivor of Thunderdome" chronicles Wayne White, a wackadoo from Tennessee who became one of the artistic geniuses behind "Pee Wee's Playhouse" in the '80s. After getting burnt out on television and music video work, he began a series of popular "word paintings" where he integrated 3D phrases into cheap landscape paintings, phrases like "STARF**KER" and "GOODLOOKINGPEOPLEHAVINGFUNWITHOUTYOU." He is awesome, see this doc, that is all. Period.

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
This is a comic book-y kinda weekend, but if Iron Man is too shiny for you let's take a trip to the sewer and get grimy as "Punisher: War Zone" decapitates your weekend at 6:30 p.m. on IFC. Though a massive bomb on release, this third (third!) attempt at bringing Frank Castle's brand of vengeance-dispensing to the screen has been building steam for cult reappraisal over the last few years. Chief among its defenders: jovial nerd supreme Patton Oswalt, who has held screenings and appeared on podcast "How Did This Get Made?" with director Lexi Alexander, where he exclaimed the virtues of Ray Stevenson's pudgier take on the character, and that "There are scenes that look like they smell bad, and I mean that as a compliment!"

Fox

YOU DOWN WITH VOD?
It's staggering to think that Martin Scorsese hasn't worked with his actor muse Robert De Niro in nearly twenty years since "Casino," but perhaps the most overlooked item in their filmography together is 1982's vicious satire "The King of Comedy." In honor of its 30th Anniversary, De Niro presented a newly restored version of the film at his Tribeca Film Festival, and now it's available in Digital HD for the first time on iTunes. De Niro plays Rupert Pupkin, a fanatic comedy dweeb who gets his shot at the big time when he kidnaps Johnny Carson-esque Jerry Langford (Jerry Lewis). It's a scathing indictment of the cult of celebrity, one which seemed far more ludicrous before the advent of Snooki.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Greetings from the apocalypse! This was a scary-ass week for my homies in Boston. Why we gotta blow each other up, people? If we keep exploding ourselves all we'll wind up with is Charlton Heston screaming at the Statue of Liberty. Truth. Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all. Now, movies …

Friday, April 26

Paramount

POW! IN THEATERS
When Scarface said, "The World is Yours," there should have been an asterisk that read "*As long as you're not a complete knucklehead." That's the heavy-duty lesson Mark Wahlberg, The Rock and Anthony Mackie learn as a trio of gym rats-cum-criminals in "Pain & Gain," the latest filmsplosion from the Michael Bay ejaculatory system. The guy who brought us three "Transformers," two "Bad Boys" and one "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf tries his hand at a low-budget, relatively contained crime dramedy, resulting in a bubbling concoction that's The Three Stooges meets "Fargo" if it were a two-hour music video … and that's a compliment. This is Bay's best movie by several yard sticks, providing a (true) story of roids, coke, Lambos, strippers, mansions and murder so outrageously tailor-made for his amped-up sensibilities you'd think God handed it to him in a crack-size Ziplock. Ed Harris, playing a Florida gumshoe straight out of an Elmore Leonard novel, is basically the only sympathetic character in a whirlwind of douchbaggery where even tortured victim Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub) is a Scrooge who sorta deserves the punishment he's dealt. It's that kinda movie.

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
"Pain & Gain" may seem pretty revelatory coming from Michael Bay, but it's also very much the snake eating its own tail if you look at his previous day trips to Miami in "Bad Boys" and "Bad Boys II," both currently streaming on Netflix Instant. In the first one Will Smith and Martin Lawrence bring their A-game to what is essentially a B-action movie elevated by Bay's confident aping of Tony Scott's hazy commercial slickness. Part II evolves into an entirely different beast, perhaps the most grandiose action film of the modern era. Somewhere between a freeway chase where Smith and Lawrence have cars tossed at them to plowing a Humvee through a Cuban shantytown lies a story of two hot dog police officers still trying to go from boys II men.

Paramount

BASIC CABLE BLUES
We're going 25 miles west of Boston to Lowell, Massachusetts with Beantown's own Mark Wahlberg as a hardscrabble pugilist enduring real pain and sweeter gain in "The Fighter" at 10:30 p.m. on FX. Wahlberg gives his all as real-life boxing champ Irish Micky Ward as the film focuses on his years on hiatus from the sport when he dealt with all sorts of family psychodrama involving his crackhead half-brother/trainer Dicky (Christian Bale) and domineering (s)mother Alice (Melissa Leo) before climbing his way back to the top. Bale and Leo both won Oscars, and "How You Like Me Now?" by The Heavy became the most overused song in movie history — it's also featured in, yes, "Pain & Gain."

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
Speaking of "The Fighter," Beantown is coming out swinging this weekend as the 11th Annual Independent Film Festival Boston unrolls as planned from April 24-30, with all 80 filmmakers originally scheduled to attend still on deck. New England premieres of David Gordon Green's "Prince Avalanche," Joss Whedon's "Much Ado About Nothing," Noah Baumbach's "Frances Ha," horror anthology "V/H/S 2" and Bobcat Goldthwait's sasquatch comedy "Willow Creek" should all say hi to your mother for me.

Meanwhile, way the hell on the opposite coast the TCM Classic Film Festival is taking over Hollywood's storied Chinese and Egyptian theaters all weekend long. Cable's primary destination for classic movie lovers will run prints of some all-time greats paired with sweet guests, including these Friday delights: Alfred Hitchcock's "Notorious" with Rose McGowan, "On the Town" with modern musical maestro Rob Marshall, Mel Brooks presents his overlooked second feature "The Twelve Chairs" and comedian Dana Gould hosts what's sure to be an awesome midnight showing of Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Check out the schedule for Saturday and Sunday!

Saturday, April 27

The Weinstein Company

POW! IN THEATERS
It's a week with three, count 'em, three outstanding new theatrical releases well worth your time, but this week's most recommended "Survivor of Thunderdome" is the vaunted Best Foreign Language Oscar-nominee "Kon-Tiki." Luckily for my blind/illiterate American readers (there's a braille edition of NextMovie, right?) the filmmakers shot two different versions of "Kon-Tiki," one in Norwegian and the other in English, so you can thrill to every gorgeous minute of this true-life post-World War II adventure in which ethnographer Thor Heyerdahl (Pål Sverre Valheim Hagen) sets out on a 100-day, 5,000-mile journey from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa raft. It's not a spoiler to know Thor survived, but it is gripping to experience the conditions he and his crew had to survive (sharks, storms, crumbling wood, more sharks, etc.) in order to prove that ancient peoples … ahh, who cares, it's just BADASS. Filmmakers Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg made the ballsy choice to shoot on the actual ocean, and that lends it a realism and beauty that would make Tom Hanks and his volleyball piss themselves in jealousy. Another reason to see the film? Jakob Oftebro, a.k.a. the Norwegian Joseph Gordon Levitt.

HULU HEAVEN
The reason it's not really a spoiler to know how Thor Heyerdahl's journey turned out is he made a pretty damn famous, Oscar-winning 1950 documentary about the journey also called "Kon-Tiki," available fo free yo on Hulu. This black and white document of his journey is a real-deal adventure that has inspired other explorers for generations, including Olav Heyerdahl, Thor's grandson, who took another Norwegian team along the same route in 2006. This modern-day voyage formed the basis of the more Discovery Channel-friendly doc "The Tangaroa Expedition," currently available in its entirety on YouTube. There's your homework, now hop to it, slackers!

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Since "Kon-Tiki" is downright riddled with shark attacks, it seems only appropriate that today is some kind of crazy-ass shark day on SyFy from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. That's right, 12-f**kin' hours chock-o-block with badly CGI'd sharks trying to eat Z-list celebs like Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas in the following flicks: "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus," "Shark Zone," "Malibu Shark Attack," "Super Shark," "2-Headed Shark Attack" and concluding with some fun on the bayou with Kristy "Buffy" Swanson and handsome Robert Davi in "Swamp Shark."

Sunday, April 28

Lionsgate

POW! IN THEATERS
She may have been in the drunk tank, but career-wise Reese's not in pieces since Reese Witherspoon turns in a terrific against-type performance as Matthew McConaughey's damaged goods girlfriend in "Mud." This touching southern drama involves tough Arkansas kid Ellis (the remarkable Tye Sheridan) who bonds with a fugitive named Mud (McConaughey), one seriously superstitious dude who lives in an abandoned boat stuck in a tree. It sounds cornball but it ain't, and even though the narrative makes wild turns into quirky character comedy, romantic whimsy, tragedy and full-on action, director Jeff Nichols ("Take Shelter") somehow keeps everything cohesive with his Terrence Malick-like command of camera and naturalistic performances.

YOUTUBE IT!
Bill Murray has made more classic comedies than we can count, but did you know that in 1984 his ghostbustin' ass appeared in a movie with Dan Aykroyd that did not involve Gozer the Gozerian? It's the great lost masterpiece "Nothing Lasts Forever," a mostly black and white art comedy that plays far better at MOMA than the multiplex, and is available in its entirety on YouTube despite various legal constraints that have kept it from getting a proper DVD/Blu-ray release in the States. It stars Zach Galligan as a concert pianist who takes a trip to the moon on a bus to find his soul mate, played by a young Lauren Tom (Amy Wong on "Futurama") in a hula skirt. Directed by Tom Schiller, who made many classic shorts for "Saturday Night Live," it was painstakingly given the look and feel of a movie from the '40s, and despite the cast and guiding hand of producer Lorne Michaels this Murray vehicle got lost in translation. Check out this rare gem below:

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Fast-forward to ten years later and you get another SNL offshoot produced by Michaels and starring Aykroyd in perhaps his most iconic role from the sketch show: "Coneheads" on Comedy Central at 12:15 p.m. While virtually burned at the stake by critics during its 1993 release, it's actually a fairly good translation from sketch-to-screen, as aliens Beldar (Aykroyd), Prymatt (Jane Curtin) and their daughter Connie (Michelle Burke) try to acclimate themselves to the American suburbs. Features mountains of cameos, including Adam Sandler, Phil Hartman, David Spade, Chris Farley and the great Garrett Morris.

*SPECIAL NOTICE*
I wanted to extend my best wishes to good buddy Ed Douglas, who begins chemotherapy this week in Ohio for acute leukemia. You may know Ed as ComingSoon's Weekend Warrior, and he's basically one of the main reasons this weekend columnist has anything resembling a career. Ed recently got socked with the bad news but has been incredibly positive during treatment despite having no insurance. If you want to read more about it and possibly contribute to his recovery, check out the GiveForward fundraising page, won't ya? Thanks!

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.

Marvel Films

It's summer, summer, summertime, time to sit back and unwind, as The Fresh Prince once rhymed. Iron Man, Wolverine, Superman and Hit-Girl are suiting up and the AC is pumping as studios trot out their big guns, eager to put butts in the seats with big stars, bigger explosions and lots of numbers after titles.

That's right, nearly a third of our list is sequels, there's even more that didn't make it, and that doesn't even count the reboots and potential franchise-starters in store as we dive headfirst into our glistening pool of summer movie bliss.

30. 'The Internship'

Release Date: June 7
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson
The Scoop: Since 2005 we've been champing at the bit for "Wedding Crashers" duo Vaughn and Wilson to re-team, and now nearly a decade later they're back in … a 90-minute ad for Google? Well, the premise has them pegged as two older salesmen trying to prove their relevance in the digital age by BS-ing their way into a competitive internship at the web browser, where the Gen-Xers butt heads with Gen-Y.

29. 'The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones'

Release Date: Aug. 23
Starring: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower
The Scoop: Everyone's looking for next "Twilight," and this right here could be it. Collins stars as Clary Fray, an innocent young girl who gets swept up in a whole new world of magic and mysticism. Clary learns she is a half-human/half-angel hybrid known as a Shadowhunter and must do battle with all sorts of baddies, including Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the evil Valentine, who holds a major key to her past.

28. 'White House Down'

Release Date: June 28
Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal
The Scoop: Now that "Olympus Has Fallen" has fallen, it paves the way for director Roland Emmerich ("Independence Day") to do what he does best; namely, destroying the White House. This time around, instead of doing it with one shot of a laser beam, he's taking it apart brick by brick as terrorists invade 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and Tatum's Capitol security guy is the only one who can get President Sawyer (Foxx) out of deep s**t.

27. 'Fast & Furious 6'

Release Date: May 24
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Dwayne Johnson
The Scoop: They're back in the cars. This time it's personal? You bet. Dom (Diesel) learns that his perished lady love Letty (Rodriguez) is back from the dead (not in a zombie way) and working with a ruthless gang leader played by Luke Evans. Thusly, The Rock recruits the crew to take the bad guy down with the carrot of a full-pardon dangled as incentive.

26. 'Epic'

Release Date: May 24
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Beyoncé Knowles, Josh Hutcherson, Colin Farrell
The Scoop: This is large-scale animated adventure from the creators of "Ice Age" offers a massive look at a micro world, where a young teen girl named Mary (Seyfried) gets downsized "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"-style and corralled into a huge battle between the good Leaf Men and evil Boggans. The film nearly jumped ship to Pixar before Fox changed their mind and decided to make it after all, so if this doesn't live up to its name there's gonna be a lot of explaining to do.

25. 'The Bling Ring'

Release Date: June 14
Starring: Emma Watson
The Scoop: Mischief managed indeed. "Harry Potter" star Watson is a girl gone wild as she and a gaggle of loosey-goosey teens decide to form a gang and rob their favorite celebrities, including Paris Hilton, who plays herself. Based on real girls who really robbed Hilton and other really shallow peeps, this will undoubtedly be another snapshot of wealthy excess from "Lost in Translation" Academy Award-winner Sofia Coppola.

24. '2 Guns'

Release Date: Aug. 2
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Denzel Washington, Paula Patton
The Scoop: Wahlberg. Washington. Where do we sign up? The testosterone-infused pair play a couple undercovers unwittingly investigating each other, who discover they're actually being framed by the CIA in some elaborate scam. If we know our action movies, it's gonna take several wild shootouts and maybe a car chase or two to set things right.

23. 'We're the Millers'

Release Date: Aug. 9
Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts, Ed Helms
The Scoop: Sudeiekis and Aniston try to recapture some of that "Horrible Bosses" energy with this madcap comedy about a pot dealer who fabricates a family made up of a stripper, a homeless teen and a geeky British kid in order to bring a ton (actually two tons) of weed over the border. This is director Rawson Marshall Thurber's first comedy since 2004's hilarious "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story," and might we say it's about high time he did another one.

22. 'Before Midnight'

Release Date: May 24
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy
The Scoop: Richard Linklater's other two "Before" movies chronicled cute couple Jesse and Celine as they met cute in Vienna and continued to talk cute nine years later. After another nine-year increment, they're still together and, yes, still cute. Now they have twin girls of their own, with Jesse still experiencing success as a writer while Celine contemplates a change. If early word is any indication, expect another unanimously-praised gab fest from modern masters of the art form.

21. 'After Earth'

Release Date: May 31
Starring: Will Smith, Jaden Smith
The Scoop: Okay, so the last time M. Night Shyamalan delved into fantasy territory we got "The Last Crapbender," but "After Earth" has one key element that enterprise didn't have: Will Smith. The Fresh Prince (when can we start calling him The Fresh King?) is the real mastermind behind this sci-fi adventure, co-writing and producing it and starring alongside real-life progeny Jaden as a father-son team who get stranded on a post-apocalyptic Earth covered head-to-toe with monsters.

20. 'Despicable Me 2'

Release Date: July 3
Starring: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Al Pacino
The Scoop: You wanted more adorable yellow Minions. You got 'em. It's Carell vs. Pacino as the former supervillain takes on a new nemesis in the form of Eduardo so he can say good night to the bad guy. The first "Despicable Me" was a delightful surprise, so let's hope they can deliver another one now that there are actual expectations ... not to mention lots of other animated competition.

19. 'R.I.P.D.'

Release Date: July 19
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges, Mary-Louise Parker, Kevin Bacon
The Scoop: Let the "Men in Black" comparisons begin! The trailer essentially plays out like "MiB" with ghosts, but Jeff Bridges' rootin' tootin' sheriff of the hereafter, Roy Pulsipher, is breakin' in his new partner Nick (Ryan Reynolds) in a most unexpected way: inhabiting the bodies of a hot chick and an old Chinese guy, respectively. Nice touch, boys.

18. 'The Hangover Part III'

Release Date: May 24
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, Melissa McCarthy
The Scoop: The wolf pack is back again, and if you thought "Part II" was a carbon copy of the first one then let it be known that in "Part III" things are coming full circle. Yes, the gang is back in Vegas for a plot that involves a hunt for Ken Jeong's Leslie Chow in exchange for Justin Bartha's Doug, who's being held hostage this time around.

17. 'The Way, Way Back'

Release Date: July 5
Starring: AnnaSophia Robb, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Sam Rockwell
The Scoop: Nat Faxon and Jim Rash deservedly earned an Oscar (and made fun of Angelina Jolie's dress) for "The Descendents," thus earning their right to make a movie of their own. First love is just one of the items on the menu as 14-year-old Duncan (Liam James) spends summer vacation with his mom and winds up being mentored by a wacky water park manager played by Rockwell.

16. 'Elysium'

Release Date: Aug. 9
Starring: Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga
The Scoop: Neill Blomkamp made his mark with the visionary sci-fi Apartheid parable "District 9" and looks to be making another statement about extreme social stratification with his sophomore effort. Damon plays a soldier who uses a special weaponized suit to attempt access to the title space station where the wealthy receive medical attention and luxury. Sounds like an exclusive spa worth fighting for.

15. 'The Lone Ranger'

Release Date: July 3
Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer
The Scoop: Whoa, kemosabe, this crazy-ass-looking western could either be fun on the bun … or "Wild Wild West Redux." Even though it's called "The Lone Ranger," this is most definitely Tonto's movie, with Johnny Depp trying to capture some of that Captain Jack lightning in a bottle again with help from original "Pirates" director Gore Verbinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer. They ride for justice ... and a bigger payday for the sequel.

14. 'The Spectacular Now'

Release Date: Aug. 2
Starring: Shailene Woodley, Miles Teller, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kyle Chandler
The Scoop: The always-charming Teller ("Project X") plays a high school senior who lives for the moment, but after the budding alcoholic gets dumped by his girlfriend he meets Aimee (Woodley), a nerdy nice girl who dreams about the future. Word out of Sundance has this pegged as a charming, John Hughes-esque tale of teen angst that could very well become the sleeper hit of the summer.

13. 'Now You See Me'

Release Date: May 31
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Morgan Freeman, Mark Ruffalo, Michael Caine
The Scoop: "The Prestige" couldn't do it, "The Illusionist" didn't cut it, and Penn & Teller definitely don't got it, so is this going to be the first movie to make magic actually seem cool and sexy? Eisenberg uses his brainy powers to magically steal money and give it out to his audience, unless Ruffalo can stop him (without Hulking out).

12. 'The Purge'

Release Date: May 31
Starring: Lena Headey, Ethan Hawke
The Scoop: After the stunning success of "Sinister," Hawke is on a horror jag, this time pairing with "Game of Thrones" beauty Headey as heads of a family that must protect themselves during a night when anyone can commit a crime consequence-free. That's a scary-ass premise, especially when dudes in creepy masks start banging down your door.

11. 'The World's End'

Release Date: Aug. 23
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Rosamund Pike, Martin Freeman
The Scoop: Edgar Wright concludes his loose "Blood and Ice Cream" trilogy that began with "Shaun of the Dead" and continued with "Hot Fuzz." Pegg and Frost are childhood friends who reunite with a few other lads to recreate an epic pub crawl but get caught up in that whole apocalypse deal. Actually, we're not sure if that apocalypse is natural, biblical, robotic or alien as extreme secrecy shrouds the project, but considering this team has never let us down we don't know why they'd start now.

10. 'World War Z'

Release Date: June 21
Starring: Brad Pitt
The Scoop: It's the first epic zombie movie, and we do mean EPIC. You could have made twenty low-budget zombie movies for what this one cost, but for that price tag you get a shaggy-haired Brad Pitt as a UN guy globetrotting to find a cure for the zombie hordes that are toppling whole societies as they form into massive swarms we call "zombie globs." Gross. Based on the popular novel by Max Brooks, who's Mel's son ... but don't expect the zombies to suddenly burst into "Springtime For Hitler."

9. 'The Wolverine'

Release Date: July 26
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen, Will Yun Lee
The Scoop: After several false starts, including original director Darren Aronofsky dropping out, this stand-alone adventure finds Jackman's Logan arriving in Japan where an old friend offers to give him the gift of mortality. That's just in time for him to take on the entire Yakuza in a battle over the love of Mariko (Tao Okamoto), where he just may find his mutant healing powers handy. This adaptation of the classic Chris Claremont/Frank Miller story from the '80s has the distinct advantage of not possibly being any worse than the last Wolverine outing.

8. 'Kick-Ass 2'

Release Date: Aug. 16
Starring: Chloë Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse
The Scoop: The first "Kick-Ass" gave new meaning to the term "child endangerment," as every bad guy in that movie got endangered by Moretz's pint-sized assassin Hit-Girl. Now she and Dave (Taylor-Johnson) will join forces with underground crimefighters led by reformed mobster Colonel Stars and Stripes (Carrey) to battle an army of supervillains led by McLovin himself.

7. 'The Great Gatsby'

Release Date: May 10
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Tobey Maguire
The Scoop: F. Scott Fitzgerald's time-honored literary masterpiece gets an MTV-friendly makeover as "Moulin Rouge!" helmer Baz Luhrmann goes hog-wild with his usual lavish sets and anachronistic soundtrack, courtesy of Jay-Z. This jazz age chronicle of new money clashing with old in the roaring '20s has DiCaprio's Gatsby trying to reignite the love he and Daisy Buchanan (Mulligan) once had, with a little help from Maguire's Nick Carraway.

6. 'Monsters University'

Release Date: June 21
Starring: John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Helen Mirren, Steve Buscemi
The Scoop: Pixar has made more than their fair share of sequels, with "Finding Dory" on the way, but this represents their first attempt at a prequel. This is perhaps Goodman and Crystal's only chance to play younger, thinner versions of themselves as Sulley and Mike embark on an intense curriculum as they frat, prank and scare their way through college. Big kegger at Monster House!

5. 'This Is the End'

Release Date: June 12
Starring: James Franco, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson
The Scoop: It's the Apatow gang's "Avengers"-style team-up movie, as Franco, Rogen, et al. play themselves trapped in a Hollywood mansion as the Biblical apocalypse ravages the world. They're forced to fight over the last Milky Way bar, drink their own urine and survive some serious calamities, including having their supplies stolen by Emma Watson.

4. 'Star Trek Into Darkness'

Release Date: May 17
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Benedict Cumberbatch
The Scoop: Captain's Log, Stardate AWESOME. Kirk, Spock, McCoy and all the rest are back for another go-round in the lens flare-riddled universe of J.J. Abrams' "Star Trek." Unlike most previous "Trek"s, this one seems to emphasize Earth-bound action as John Harrison (Cumberbatch) enacts a catastrophic revenge scheme on the federation. Abrams swears up-and-down Harrison isn't Kahn, but do you honestly trust this guy? | Watch the trailer

3. 'Man of Steel'

Release Date: June 14
Starring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Russell Crowe
The Scoop: Ever since Richard Donner's 1978 take on the Last Son of Krypton we've been consistently let down by Superman on the big screen, but director Zack Snyder and producer Christopher Nolan are looking to end the big blue boy scout's losing streak with an epic modern re-imagining. Cavill's Clark Kent goes on a long, bearded spiritual journey before taking up the cape, with an intrepid/sexy Daily Planet reporter and an evil Kryptonian general both hot on his heels.

2. 'Pacific Rim'

Release Date: July 12
Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Charlie Day
The Scoop: Guillermo del Toro is gonna layeth the smacketh DOWN this summer. It's mechas vs. kaijus, or robots vs. monsters for the layman, all on a scale never before dreamed of by fans of Japanese "Godzilla" movies. Early word says this could be the next "Star Wars," or simply the $150-million-dollar version of a deranged little boy playing with his toys in the bathtub. Either way, we're there.

1. 'Iron Man 3'

Release Date: May 3
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Guy Pearce, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle
The Scoop: Okay, maybe we've seen this movie already and maybe we haven't, but just maybe it will rock your rocket boots off. It seems this time around Tony Stark has to go mano-a-mano with his most fearsome foe yet, the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), all while trying to figure out where he stands in the eternal triangle between himself, Pepper Potts (Paltrow) and those many lovely suits of armor of his.

The Runners-Up:

MAY
Michael Shannon plays real-life contract killer/mass murderer/family man Richard Kuklinski in "The Iceman" (May 3); Craig Robinson gets a rare starring role as a dude trying to impress his fiancé's family in "Peeples" (May 10); Greta Gerwig does the Noah Baumbach two-step as an enthusiastic hipster in "Frances Ha" (May 17); and three quirky boys run away and build their own lair in the woods in "The Kings of Summer" (May 31).

JUNE
Joss Whedon does the Bard proud with his modern-dress Shakespeare adaptation "Much Ado About Nothing" (June 7); Sandra Bulloch and Melissa McCarthy play good cop/psycho cop in "The Heat" (June 28); Pedro Almadovar sets his latest farce aboard a doomed airplane in "I'm So Excited" (June 28); and Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton make a "Twilight" for smart people in vampire flick "Byzantium" (June 28).

JULY
Adam Sandler and his buddies use the term "grown up" loosely in  "Grown Ups 2" (July 12); Bruce Willis and his geriatric pals lock and load for "Red 2" (July 19); real-life paranormal investigators The Warrens are called in to reckon with "The Conjuring" (July 19); Ryan Gosling bangs guys up in Bangkok's underworld in "Only God Forgives" (July 19); and Woody Allen brings us more neurotic delights with "Blue Jasmine" (July 26).

AUGUST
More Spartans means more greased-up abs in "300: Rise of an Empire" (Aug. 2); "Disney's Planes" (Aug. 9) cashes in on whatever dollars they left on the table after "Cars"; the fantasy gravy train keeps rolling on as we set sail for "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters" (Aug. 9) and Aubrey Plaza has a lot of sex on the agenda in "The To Do List" (Aug 16). Finally, it's not looking good for you (if you're the killers) in the late-summer horror revenge-fest "You're Next" (Aug. 23).

Greetings from the apocalypse! You might think that this particular Mad Max would enjoy watching Tom Cruise fight evil robots in a future nuclear-blasted wasteland, but NOPE! "Oblivion" is a dud, though that doesn't mean we can't make it through the next few days as long as we stick together and don't cross the DMZ. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, troops, we're goin' in …

Friday, April 19

Universal

POW! IN THEATERS
Xenu's own Tom Cruise returns to comfortable sci-fi territory this week with "Oblivion," which I will henceforth refer to as "The Matrix Redressed." Cruise is the only living boy in post-apocalyptic New York, where he and a stuffy British chick (Andrea Riseborough, natch) maintain giant water vacuums when they're not having PG-13 swimming pool sex … that is, until the mysterious Olga Kurylenko arrives from outer space. Ostensibly a parable on the nature of free will with a few "shocking" curveballs, it's a silly hodgepodge of at least a dozen other, better sci-fi movies from "2001: A Space Odyssey" to "Moon" to "Planet of the Apes." Director Joseph Kosinski (he of the other $150-million-dollar screensaver "TRON: Legacy") thinks so little of his audience he stops everything dead THREE TIMES to recap all that preceded. Also, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has to wear "Road Warrior" reject armor, Morgan Freeman sports a Darth Vader mask and stuntwoman/ good actress Zoë Bell says and does nothing. Way to pool your resources, Kosinski.

NETFLIX RECOMMENDS WITH A VENGEANCE
If you want to hit a solid post-apocalyptic loner groove, then ditch "Oblivion" and spend a nice, quiet afternoon with Vincent Price as "The Last Man on Earth" via Netflix Instant, this week's most excellent "Survivor of Thunderdome." This is the first version of Richard Matheson's book "I Am Legend," which later became a Chuck Heston ("The Omega Man") and Will Smith joint, respectively, although none of them have gotten it quite right. Believe it or not, this black and white cheapie from 1964 comes the closest to capturing the stark desperation of a man who survived the plague that turned everyone except him into bloodthirsty creatures of the night. It'll have to hold us over until the inevitable fourth version starring a grizzled Taylor Lautner in 2024.

MGM

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
In the wake of personal scandal that Tom Terrific went through in the middle of the last decade, what better way for Cruise to prove he was on the level than by trying to kill Hitler for us in 2008's "Valkyrie," tonight at 5 p.m. on Showtime. Bryan Singer orchestrates an all-star cast of upstanding Brits (Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp) around Cruise as real-life hero Claus von Stauffenberg, a German officer who plotted to off ol' Uncle Adolf a full nine months before he and Eva Braun did the deed themselves. A nifty historical nugget, it proves that you can know the outcome of a story and still be pissing yourself in suspense.

FESTIVAL SCHMESTIVAL
Prepare to put yourself in a New York state of mind this week with Robert De Niro's world famous Tribeca Film Festival from April 17-28. Besides screenings of indie films like "Before Midnight," "Adult World," "Almost Christmas," and "Prince Avalanche," some of this weekend's highlights include a free outdoor screening of Tim Burton's "Beetlejuice" tonight at 8:15 p.m. in World Financial Center Plaza, and a talk with Ben Stiller and Jay Roach on Sunday at 3 p.m. If Tribeca is too snooty for your taste, then revel in the grindhouse glory of the Old School Kung-Fu Fest (today through Sunday) at New York's Anthology Film Archives, where '70s classics starring the likes of Gordon Liu ("Shaolin and Wu-Tang") or Law Kei ("The Dragon Lives Again") will divulge exactly where The RZA steals all his dialogue samples from.

Saturday, April 20 (4/20, BABY!)

Anchor Bay

POW! IN THEATERS
FOUR-TWENTY! FOUR-TWENTY! All my stoner homies know no one delivers unwieldy blood-soaked mayhem quite like Rob Zombie. The grunge god returns from the dreck of two "Halloween" movies with his own original great American nightmare "The Lords of Salem," starring (surprise!) his hot wife Sheri Moon Zombie as a dreadlocked local radio DJ who plays a song by what she thinks is an indie band but turns out to be spirits of the film's witchy Massachusetts namesake … or something like that. The trailers promise lots of trademark Zombie weirdness coupled with his newfound fondness for Kubrickian art house compositions.

HULU HEAVEN
Speaking of broomstick jockeys, why not turn to a seminal entry in the witch genre that doesn't involve Quidditch: a grainy print of 1972's "Season of the Witch" on Hulu fo free yo. George Romero's attempt to reinvigorate the witch genre is neither as revolutionary as his "Night of the Living Dead" was for zombies nor as slick as his later work. "Season" is an intriguing if poorly-acted curiosity revolving around a bored middle-aged housewife (Jan White) who goes from square to slightly less square when she begins dabbling in witchcraft in order to lure a young buck into the sack … and yes, it does feature the Donovan song, so stop asking.

YOUTUBE IT!
Everyone knows that if you're going to see a Rob Zombie movie you have to extensively read up on his subjects … JUST KIDDING! His movies are totally redneck-friendly, but if you are inclined to learn a little more about the nearly two dozen witch executions that took place in puritanical New England then look no further than an old episode of "In Search of History" about the Salem Witch Trials in its entirety on YouTube. Bible thumping hysteria in the early 1690s inspired a frenzy of false accusations, arrests, hangings and eventually the Daniel Day-Lewis/Winona Ryder version of "The Crucible." Horror upon horror.

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Cap off a delicious night of terror as TCM hosts a demonic double feature of classic drive-in fare: "Burn, Witch, Burn" (1962, also on Netflix Instant) at 2:15 a.m. and "The Devil's Own" (a.k.a. "The Witches," 1966) at 4 a.m. Clearly incited by "The Lords of Salem," this lineup is perfect fodder for fans of old school B-movies, with "Burn" detailing an ignorant husband's rejection of his wife's occult activities, while Hammer Studios' "Devil's" involves an innocent missionary school teacher (Joan Fontaine, in her final role) who gets swept up in witchy dealings in both Africa and England.

Sunday, April 21

BASIC CABLE BLUES
Sunday is a good day for a couple of overlooked comedies, so let's kick off this parade of shenanigans with "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" at 12:15 p.m. on Comedy Central. Comedic impresario Judd Apatow produced and co-wrote this insanely funny riff on musician biopics (specifically "Walk the Line" and maybe a little "Great Balls of Fire") and the laughs-per-minute ratio owes less to improv-a-thons like "Knocked Up" and more to Apatow's early parody work for TV ("In Living Color," "The Ben Stiller Show"). John C. Reilly plays his Johnny Cash-stand-in with doofy charm and fantastic lyrics like "In my dreams you're blowing me … some kisses." Stay tuned as Jonah Hill teaches you how impossible it is to masturbate with a ghost hand.

Universal

PAY CHANNEL PAYBACK
Steven Spielberg has had more blockbusters than anyone in film history, and "1941" isn't one of them, but it is on IFC at 5 p.m. His 1979 comedy spectacular about an attempted Japanese invasion of Hollywood saw the "Jurassic Park" maestro pilfering the casts of "Saturday Night Live," "SCTV" and "Animal House" for the most overblown demolition derby your eyes have ever beheld. While it may have laid an egg at the box office, today's ADD-rattled sensibilities are perfectly attuned to soak up the full-on sensory bombardment Spielberg conducted. John Belushi hams it up and Dan Aykroyd speed-talks like the coke demon he was, while a Ferris wheel, a house and most of the west coast are exploded for your amusement. It's a blast, trust me.

GET LIT
This week the literary oceans have swept ashore two biographies destined for film lovers' bookshelves, starting with "The French Connection" and "The Exorcist" helmer William Friedkin's long-awaited tome "The Friedkin Connection: A Memoir," where he fills you in on the tortures of filming "Sorcerer" in the Dominican Republic and perhaps why he hasn't made a masterpiece since. My more horror-inclined readers will no doubt be clamoring for tales of the late "Peter Cushing: A Life in Film," which chronicles England's most celebrated genre thesp, as well as being the big baddie in "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope" and bearer of the pointiest cheek bones in world history.

As I ride off into the distant horizon, here's wishing you fellow weekend road warriors the best outing possible from this burnt-out, blighted wasteland. Enjoy your fast Internet, clean-ish movie theaters, plentiful gasoline and all the comforts of home, for this world lives now only in my memories …

You can follow renegade movie journo and filmmaker Max Evry on Twitter, and check out his bitchin' DeviantArt gallery while you're at it.